*walks into the e-room hesitantly and looks around*
Oh, hello, you're still here. Yes, I am too. I have returned, dear readers. And oh my have I gone back to step 1. I just looked and the last time I posted was in August, and that wasn't a real post. Yeah, it's really been a helluva year. In many ways it has not been good. In one really really big way it has been fantastic, but the not-good has seemed to overwhelm.
So I'm back to where I started. I went to put on some pants today while doing laundry, pants that I know I could wear in June, and they won't fit. I wanted to lie on the bed and cry. Instead I just said "oh girl, what have you been doing to yourself?" The thing is I have not been caring for myself. I've been hibernating in a way. Stocking up on carbs etc. Because daily life has pretty much sucked since this summer.
Earlier really. It has been a year heavy with losses - my darling pet in February (I don't have kids, I had cats and my Reilly-girl isn't here now to attack the Christmas trees and it makes me cry), one of my very best friends in June - out of the blue. And then in September a group of women that I worked with and was friends with, spent the majority of my every-day life with for the last few years were all summarily dismissed from work. It doesn't matter that my worst-ever boss was let go (she can tell people she retired but she was pushed out) a little more than a month later. Or that her horrible excuse for a human being boss is "retiring" next month. What mattered to me was that a significant support system in my life, women I counted on (still do, we are setting up a monthly ladies' night get together) were suddenly gone. And I do not deal well with that amount of loss. Just typing about it makes me cry. Not just for the loss of companionship and support at work, but for the panic and fear that they are suddenly facing in a time where to be out of work is to be in a very big and seemingly aimless boat.
My reaction to these losses has been to pack it in. Anything comforting to eat or drink, I'm putting it in my mouth. And I am not moving. Not getting up out of my seat. I know I need to. My sister in law very nearly died a couple of weeks ago because she has blood clots in her leg and lung and one of the ways to get those is to sit. A lot. Another reason I'm not getting up enough is that I don't want to interact with the new people that have been installed at work. To call them imbeciles would be unkind. To imeciles. And so I get to work and I sit. And I type. And then I go home. I keep telling myself that I should get up and go for a walk. I did once. Walked for 10 minutes. My legs hurt when I was done. A ten minute walk made my legs hurt!! That pissed me off.
So I'm back again. I know that posting on here helps me to be honest and maybe writing it out will help me to get through the emotional excuses I've been using to not make healthy choices. I hope so. Because I know that I am headed in a dangerous direction and I want to stop.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
not forgotten
so, I haven't forgotten this blog. I haven't stopped being careful with what I eat. I haven't gotten into a regular exercise pattern tho....and I've been extremely caught up in work politic crap.
to be continued....
One day. One step. One pound at a time
~N
to be continued....
One day. One step. One pound at a time
~N
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
well...
hahahahahahaaaa. yeah, getting up in the mornings to do P90X is not happening. Not even once did it happen. We both looked at each other and said "I could make up an excuse but I don't want to do it." So last night I got out the old Wii system and yes, it still tells me "that's obese" and that I'm unbalanced but it turns out that I did learn some yoga stuff from the insane 90X guy and I did much better. And hey, it was exercise!!
Packing lunches is a known quantity for getting good food versus what I am more likely to buy if left to my own devices during my 30 min lunches so I was happy to have some of hubby's yummy tofu and veggies (peppers, onions, cilantro) for lunch today.
So, it's not the insanity of P90X but it is exercise. And THAT my friends is honesty and it's what counts.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Packing lunches is a known quantity for getting good food versus what I am more likely to buy if left to my own devices during my 30 min lunches so I was happy to have some of hubby's yummy tofu and veggies (peppers, onions, cilantro) for lunch today.
So, it's not the insanity of P90X but it is exercise. And THAT my friends is honesty and it's what counts.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Thunderstruck
If you don't know AC/DC you won't recognize the title as one of (imho) the most kick-ass songs there is. That song is at the beginning of my playlist for my work outs. And today I am going to complete the playlist. And re-start the P90X program with hubby.
Coming back from vacation and KNOWING I ate more than usual (yummy goodness) it was really very cool to have 3 people tell me "you're losing more weight". And yet I know I gained 3 pounds. But that tells me that the changes in diet have really been ingrained because in the past it would have taken no time whatsoever to gain a good 10 pounds without thinking about it.
We've been talking about the long-term goals. And being healthy. And I feel better when we eat good food and I know that exercising makes me feel better (even tho before I do it I really do NOT want to). So today we will re-start the program. And the goal is to do it in the mornings. Oh boy I don't want to do it. But this is the way to look at it: by the time I get home from work I won't have to do the work out. I will be able to just CHILL.
We'll see how it goes. I'll let you know.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Coming back from vacation and KNOWING I ate more than usual (yummy goodness) it was really very cool to have 3 people tell me "you're losing more weight". And yet I know I gained 3 pounds. But that tells me that the changes in diet have really been ingrained because in the past it would have taken no time whatsoever to gain a good 10 pounds without thinking about it.
We've been talking about the long-term goals. And being healthy. And I feel better when we eat good food and I know that exercising makes me feel better (even tho before I do it I really do NOT want to). So today we will re-start the program. And the goal is to do it in the mornings. Oh boy I don't want to do it. But this is the way to look at it: by the time I get home from work I won't have to do the work out. I will be able to just CHILL.
We'll see how it goes. I'll let you know.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, July 4, 2011
Independence Day
Hello there. It is a gorgeous day and I am happy today. I had a perfect vacation (even with some travel snafus) and feel more like myself and ready to get back at this whole healthy me thing.
Vacation included staying with friends who are both great cooks - and let me say I did not stay on task when it came to diet!! Whoo boy. It was, in all honesty, a choice that I willingly made. I was very sad before we went and I decided that what I wanted to do was re-set. And I did. We did some walking around beautiful park trails and I played with an adorable baby girl. But I also slept in and ate and drank.
So here I am on Independence Day trying to get myself in the mood to go back to work (doubtful this is going to happen, so I'll just have to show up) tomorrow and I found this article that inspired me. This kid took it in his own hands and did what we know works - portion control and moving more.
I will not eat potato salad today, will not eat chips. But I've already had a sandwich (dark rye, bread & butter pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion and CHEESE) and coffee. And I plan on drinking all my "girl beers" (Mike's).
So, here's an article I found inspiring and I'll be back here again soon.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/07/01/lose.weight.safely.ireporter/
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Vacation included staying with friends who are both great cooks - and let me say I did not stay on task when it came to diet!! Whoo boy. It was, in all honesty, a choice that I willingly made. I was very sad before we went and I decided that what I wanted to do was re-set. And I did. We did some walking around beautiful park trails and I played with an adorable baby girl. But I also slept in and ate and drank.
So here I am on Independence Day trying to get myself in the mood to go back to work (doubtful this is going to happen, so I'll just have to show up) tomorrow and I found this article that inspired me. This kid took it in his own hands and did what we know works - portion control and moving more.
I will not eat potato salad today, will not eat chips. But I've already had a sandwich (dark rye, bread & butter pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion and CHEESE) and coffee. And I plan on drinking all my "girl beers" (Mike's).
So, here's an article I found inspiring and I'll be back here again soon.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/07/01/lose.weight.safely.ireporter/
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Saturday, June 25, 2011
A Beautiful Day
Today is the funeral. It is a gorgeous early summer day, birds are singing, there are tiny puffy clouds in a clear blue sky and I am going on vacation. I decided not to go to the funeral after much discussion with my husband and her's. The very thought of being there when I don't believe she is (I mean the body she was once living in is but SHE isn't.) made me ill. Add to it the fact that I am flying to vacation today and I have decided that my funeral, my good-bye, will be a different process.
Today I woke up early and cried, again. But not as much as I have. And then I came out to sit in the sun with the cat. Not unlike what she would normally do on the weekends. I forgot to mention Tigger in my tribute to her. Tigger is Charlene's cat. She got her 12 years ago, about the same time as my cat came to live with me. Tigger is a scrawny little mop head in the muted calico colors of white, grey and peach. And she doesn't love anyone but Charlene. Maybe Charlene's husband. But generally that cat is just pissy. So on the weekends when I would go over to her house I would greet Tigger from afar. And she would hiss politely at me from the blanket on the back of the couch.
Today I will move on from my sad songs. I will put Florence & The Machine in my iPod for the trip and I will go play with a baby girl and her parents and rehab myself.
Today I woke up early and cried, again. But not as much as I have. And then I came out to sit in the sun with the cat. Not unlike what she would normally do on the weekends. I forgot to mention Tigger in my tribute to her. Tigger is Charlene's cat. She got her 12 years ago, about the same time as my cat came to live with me. Tigger is a scrawny little mop head in the muted calico colors of white, grey and peach. And she doesn't love anyone but Charlene. Maybe Charlene's husband. But generally that cat is just pissy. So on the weekends when I would go over to her house I would greet Tigger from afar. And she would hiss politely at me from the blanket on the back of the couch.
Today I will move on from my sad songs. I will put Florence & The Machine in my iPod for the trip and I will go play with a baby girl and her parents and rehab myself.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
still here
not doing ok with this. Took Monday off. Left today at 1pm and took tomorrow off. Grief is a helluva thing. It knocks you off your axis and makes you all dizzy till you think you're gonna puke. Actually on Sunday night I did puke. Just so sad.
All week I've been eating much less than normal - so there's that. But it's because my stomach is in knots and I just don't feel like eating. THIS is the depression that I had said I'd wished I had. I know it's grief tho. I know this. And I will go through it.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a psychiatrist who pioneered much work on death and dying. In fact her book of that title "On Death and Dying" (1969) is a best-seller and the Kubler-Ross model is taught in many schools. I learned it in grad school. It speaks of 5 stages of grief. These stages are not meant to be chronological nor comprehensive. Everyone grieves differently. When my grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack my 2 aunts fought bitterly over the way each other was grieving. The older went around moving things, cleaning things and generally being a bossy pants. The younger one cried. And cried. And cried. And got angry at the older one who did not cry. And the older one got angry at the younger one who did not help. It all came to a head when the older told the younger to do something that starts with the letter F and ends with off and my dad called me to come and intervene. I said to them both "you lost your dad. You are grieving. It's ok. Just remember that you are BOTH grieving. And don't try to make the other's grief look like your's. It is her's."
The 5 stages of grief are: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. And you can go in and out of any and all or none of these during your experience with grief.
I am in the Depression part. I cry at least 10 times a day. And that may be an under-estimation. I know that this is part of my process. And part of letting it out is to listen to a BUNCH of music that lets/makes me cry. Not a complete list but here are a few songs in my playlist: Arvo Part - Tabula Rasa, Eva Cassidy - Somewhere over the Rainbow, Dave Matthews - The Space Between, Don McLean - Vincent, Coldplay - Fix You, Lynne Dawson (thank you R) - Verdi's Requiem (the requiem aeternum.....wow), Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah, Devotchka - How it Ends, Radiohead - Videotape, Joe Cocker - Have a Little Faith in Me, Tori Amos - Time, Nine Inch Nails - Right where it belongs.
And I listen and cry. And let it out. This is grief. It sucks. And it's a part of life. Luckily for me I have wonderful supportive friends and family who know when to ask and when to leave me be.
Carpe Diem.
~N
All week I've been eating much less than normal - so there's that. But it's because my stomach is in knots and I just don't feel like eating. THIS is the depression that I had said I'd wished I had. I know it's grief tho. I know this. And I will go through it.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a psychiatrist who pioneered much work on death and dying. In fact her book of that title "On Death and Dying" (1969) is a best-seller and the Kubler-Ross model is taught in many schools. I learned it in grad school. It speaks of 5 stages of grief. These stages are not meant to be chronological nor comprehensive. Everyone grieves differently. When my grandfather died suddenly of a heart attack my 2 aunts fought bitterly over the way each other was grieving. The older went around moving things, cleaning things and generally being a bossy pants. The younger one cried. And cried. And cried. And got angry at the older one who did not cry. And the older one got angry at the younger one who did not help. It all came to a head when the older told the younger to do something that starts with the letter F and ends with off and my dad called me to come and intervene. I said to them both "you lost your dad. You are grieving. It's ok. Just remember that you are BOTH grieving. And don't try to make the other's grief look like your's. It is her's."
The 5 stages of grief are: Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. And you can go in and out of any and all or none of these during your experience with grief.
I am in the Depression part. I cry at least 10 times a day. And that may be an under-estimation. I know that this is part of my process. And part of letting it out is to listen to a BUNCH of music that lets/makes me cry. Not a complete list but here are a few songs in my playlist: Arvo Part - Tabula Rasa, Eva Cassidy - Somewhere over the Rainbow, Dave Matthews - The Space Between, Don McLean - Vincent, Coldplay - Fix You, Lynne Dawson (thank you R) - Verdi's Requiem (the requiem aeternum.....wow), Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah, Devotchka - How it Ends, Radiohead - Videotape, Joe Cocker - Have a Little Faith in Me, Tori Amos - Time, Nine Inch Nails - Right where it belongs.
And I listen and cry. And let it out. This is grief. It sucks. And it's a part of life. Luckily for me I have wonderful supportive friends and family who know when to ask and when to leave me be.
Carpe Diem.
~N
Monday, June 20, 2011
*poof*
Wow. So this last week was full of lots of family fun, with birthdays for my dad and nephew and yesterday's Father's Day and birthday party for the 9 year old. Too many carbs to count and my body was already repenting for this when I got a message last night from the husband of a very dear friend. And I called him. And the entire concept of eating, much less smiling was gone in one short sentence.
Charlene died on Friday. Charlene was my friend, 42 yrs old and now she is gone. She and I met right out of college, we were both therapists at a community mental health clinic and quickly realized that we were meant to be friends. Sarcasm? Check. Laughter? Check. And uncanny knack for finding fantastic shopping deals at bargain basement prices? Double check. Charlene was one of 2 people that heavily influenced my thought processes when it comes to decorating your space (the other is the friend that inspired me to start this blog, M) and she was (just like M) OCD to the extent that I - being the pain in the ass that I am - would delight in tormenting her. I would regularly delight in telling her, as I was leaving her house in Boise that was decorated like something out of Pottery Barn or Pier 1, "I moved something in your kitchen" and skip out the door as she yelled bad words at me and went to go re-organize.
She was taller than I am, nearly 6' and rail thin. She could eat. A LOT. And never gain weight. For which I called her "bitch". Many a weekend was spent going to Home Depot to pick out stuff, or look at stuff to buy later to make her little house into a gorgeous place. She was an ex-Mormon and answered my questions about the "magical underwear" and other things that I wanted to know. She drank gallons of Diet Coke in what she lovingly called "beveragezilla" - a 72 oz red tub that sat between us in her old white Ford Taurus while we listened to the soundtrack for Rent (which to this day I have not seen but I know by heart). We used to greet each other with the phrase "rice and beans and.....cheese" (from the musical) and she had a raunchy fantastic sense of humor.
Charlene knew me when I was in the depths of my depression. Days when I would not get out of bed until she would show up (she had a key) and stand in my doorway and say "get your ASS out of bed". She knew what to say and what not to say. In 2001 she was packing for a conference in Seattle and I sat on the bed while she (perfectly) packed all of her things. I said "don't forget the lingerie!" She had broken up with her boyfriend in the last year (a lawyer, and a jerk) and she looked at me down that long beautiful nose of her's and said "what the hell for?!" I said "you never know..." So she packed it. And went to the conference. And was in an elevator in the hotel where the conference was being held when they had the earthquake. The other person in the elevator was a therapist that worked for the VA and they were married 18 months later. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding - something I do not ever do. I wore a dress and everything. And after making a (not a little bit drunk) toast at her reception we wandered out to the bar. Me in my navy blue dress, made by her mother (still a Mormon, it was the opposite of revealing, and HOT, not in a good way) and Charlene in her beautiful white wedding dress. We sat on bar stools and toasted to the future. And to getting what you want.
Life kept us busy in our own areas - she in Colorado Springs for a while, and then eventually to New Mexico. And me here in the Northwest, rebuilding my life. About 2 years ago I realized I hadn't talked to her in at least 2 years and I wasn't at all sure where she lived anymore and didn't have her latest email address. So I went on a Google search and cold-mailed her at the last address I found. 2 weeks later I got the first of many emails and just over a month ago we got to see each other face to face when she was here for a conference with her husband.
She had chronic pain and at this early stage of the investigation (she was found last night, her husband had been out of town for work - so they always do an investigation) it appears that she had an adverse reaction to her pain medications. I am still processing this whole thing. I am incredibly sad and heart-sick over the loss of such an amazing person. So full of life. And gone in an instant. In a phone call that, even as I was dialing I knew would change things forever.
You will hear this from me on many occasions dear reader, because I believe it to be of paramount importance, do not waste time or put off telling the people in your life that you love them. You simply never know when you won't get another chance.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Charlene died on Friday. Charlene was my friend, 42 yrs old and now she is gone. She and I met right out of college, we were both therapists at a community mental health clinic and quickly realized that we were meant to be friends. Sarcasm? Check. Laughter? Check. And uncanny knack for finding fantastic shopping deals at bargain basement prices? Double check. Charlene was one of 2 people that heavily influenced my thought processes when it comes to decorating your space (the other is the friend that inspired me to start this blog, M) and she was (just like M) OCD to the extent that I - being the pain in the ass that I am - would delight in tormenting her. I would regularly delight in telling her, as I was leaving her house in Boise that was decorated like something out of Pottery Barn or Pier 1, "I moved something in your kitchen" and skip out the door as she yelled bad words at me and went to go re-organize.
She was taller than I am, nearly 6' and rail thin. She could eat. A LOT. And never gain weight. For which I called her "bitch". Many a weekend was spent going to Home Depot to pick out stuff, or look at stuff to buy later to make her little house into a gorgeous place. She was an ex-Mormon and answered my questions about the "magical underwear" and other things that I wanted to know. She drank gallons of Diet Coke in what she lovingly called "beveragezilla" - a 72 oz red tub that sat between us in her old white Ford Taurus while we listened to the soundtrack for Rent (which to this day I have not seen but I know by heart). We used to greet each other with the phrase "rice and beans and.....cheese" (from the musical) and she had a raunchy fantastic sense of humor.
Charlene knew me when I was in the depths of my depression. Days when I would not get out of bed until she would show up (she had a key) and stand in my doorway and say "get your ASS out of bed". She knew what to say and what not to say. In 2001 she was packing for a conference in Seattle and I sat on the bed while she (perfectly) packed all of her things. I said "don't forget the lingerie!" She had broken up with her boyfriend in the last year (a lawyer, and a jerk) and she looked at me down that long beautiful nose of her's and said "what the hell for?!" I said "you never know..." So she packed it. And went to the conference. And was in an elevator in the hotel where the conference was being held when they had the earthquake. The other person in the elevator was a therapist that worked for the VA and they were married 18 months later. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding - something I do not ever do. I wore a dress and everything. And after making a (not a little bit drunk) toast at her reception we wandered out to the bar. Me in my navy blue dress, made by her mother (still a Mormon, it was the opposite of revealing, and HOT, not in a good way) and Charlene in her beautiful white wedding dress. We sat on bar stools and toasted to the future. And to getting what you want.
Life kept us busy in our own areas - she in Colorado Springs for a while, and then eventually to New Mexico. And me here in the Northwest, rebuilding my life. About 2 years ago I realized I hadn't talked to her in at least 2 years and I wasn't at all sure where she lived anymore and didn't have her latest email address. So I went on a Google search and cold-mailed her at the last address I found. 2 weeks later I got the first of many emails and just over a month ago we got to see each other face to face when she was here for a conference with her husband.
She had chronic pain and at this early stage of the investigation (she was found last night, her husband had been out of town for work - so they always do an investigation) it appears that she had an adverse reaction to her pain medications. I am still processing this whole thing. I am incredibly sad and heart-sick over the loss of such an amazing person. So full of life. And gone in an instant. In a phone call that, even as I was dialing I knew would change things forever.
You will hear this from me on many occasions dear reader, because I believe it to be of paramount importance, do not waste time or put off telling the people in your life that you love them. You simply never know when you won't get another chance.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, June 13, 2011
Yooooogadthatsgonnahurttomorrow!
So, tonight I did P90X by myself. With no one but the cat watching. I'll admit here and now I only got through 20 min of the 90 min yoga work out. HOLY CRAPANOLES Batman - it's just amazing what these fairly simple moves will do for your heart rate!!
Starts off nice and easy - with breathing. HAHA. Then goes into side stretches, also fairly easy altho I have to be careful or else I'll give myself a cramp. And then they start in on it. Have I mentioned how much I hate Plank pose? Ahh good. Well for the 20 min (23 min I think actually) I did it was 99% Plank Pose. *(@#*%
So, you start off with a sun salutation. Sounds nice enough, and it is. You reach your hands up into the sky, then you put your arms out to the side, looking up as you reach down to the floor in what Tony (the P90X guy and I are on first name basis see) calls a Swan dive. You keep your back straight and let your arms dangle, then on an exhale you reach and put your hands flat on the floor (STRETCH!) and then you move into the dreaded Plank Pose.
Pirates used to make people walk the plank to their death. I'm fairly certain that's where this little bugger got it's name. Plank pose is the beginning of a good old-fashioned push up. Except you stay up. And hold it. Keeping the back straight, holding your weight on your shoulders and HOLDING your stomach muscles IN (I forget to do that, WAY too easy to let the belly just hang).
Then you do a push up (which I can't do yet) and go down into upward facing dog. That is basically where you have your belly and legs on the ground and your torso, arms and head are as straight up as you can push them (arms killing you by now).
Then you do another pushup (which I am just lucky to get back into Plank pose so I skip it for now) and go back to Plank Pose and into Downward facing Dog. That pose basically turns your body into an upside down V. Balancing your body on your feet and hands. (all this time you are supposed to breathe in deeply and in a controlled fashion - not gasping like a guppie evidently...) Then you go BACK TO PLANK (oh the humanity!)
Part way through they change it up (usually you just repeat and reverse everything I just wrote out) and instead of starting over, you "swing" one of your legs up into the sky, while holding (you guessed it) Plank pose. And then you're supposed to swing it through until it stands on the floor under your arm. Ok, I cannot do that. So I swing the leg back and up, then I just pull it underneath me until the front leg is bent and the back leg is stretched out straight behind you. And you go into Runner's Pose, which you basically just let your arms dangle to the floor if you can, while balancing. And then you sit up straight and push your arms into the sky into Warrior 1 pose. Not so bad. Warrior 2 pose is where the arms come down and one stretches out in front and the other in back of you. And then? Do it ALL OVER AGAIN.
Like I said, it goes on for 90 min and I only did 20 tonight. But I did it. With only myself watching and keeping me accountable. Tomorrow I'm going to try to do it again, going for 30 min. It's all about baby steps. And oh my goodness I can feel this in my shoulders and abs. YAY!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Starts off nice and easy - with breathing. HAHA. Then goes into side stretches, also fairly easy altho I have to be careful or else I'll give myself a cramp. And then they start in on it. Have I mentioned how much I hate Plank pose? Ahh good. Well for the 20 min (23 min I think actually) I did it was 99% Plank Pose. *(@#*%
So, you start off with a sun salutation. Sounds nice enough, and it is. You reach your hands up into the sky, then you put your arms out to the side, looking up as you reach down to the floor in what Tony (the P90X guy and I are on first name basis see) calls a Swan dive. You keep your back straight and let your arms dangle, then on an exhale you reach and put your hands flat on the floor (STRETCH!) and then you move into the dreaded Plank Pose.
Pirates used to make people walk the plank to their death. I'm fairly certain that's where this little bugger got it's name. Plank pose is the beginning of a good old-fashioned push up. Except you stay up. And hold it. Keeping the back straight, holding your weight on your shoulders and HOLDING your stomach muscles IN (I forget to do that, WAY too easy to let the belly just hang).
Then you do a push up (which I can't do yet) and go down into upward facing dog. That is basically where you have your belly and legs on the ground and your torso, arms and head are as straight up as you can push them (arms killing you by now).
Then you do another pushup (which I am just lucky to get back into Plank pose so I skip it for now) and go back to Plank Pose and into Downward facing Dog. That pose basically turns your body into an upside down V. Balancing your body on your feet and hands. (all this time you are supposed to breathe in deeply and in a controlled fashion - not gasping like a guppie evidently...) Then you go BACK TO PLANK (oh the humanity!)
Part way through they change it up (usually you just repeat and reverse everything I just wrote out) and instead of starting over, you "swing" one of your legs up into the sky, while holding (you guessed it) Plank pose. And then you're supposed to swing it through until it stands on the floor under your arm. Ok, I cannot do that. So I swing the leg back and up, then I just pull it underneath me until the front leg is bent and the back leg is stretched out straight behind you. And you go into Runner's Pose, which you basically just let your arms dangle to the floor if you can, while balancing. And then you sit up straight and push your arms into the sky into Warrior 1 pose. Not so bad. Warrior 2 pose is where the arms come down and one stretches out in front and the other in back of you. And then? Do it ALL OVER AGAIN.
Like I said, it goes on for 90 min and I only did 20 tonight. But I did it. With only myself watching and keeping me accountable. Tomorrow I'm going to try to do it again, going for 30 min. It's all about baby steps. And oh my goodness I can feel this in my shoulders and abs. YAY!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Friday, June 10, 2011
technology is my friend
so, I lost not one computer but TWO computers in the last week. Lost them actually in the space of 3 days. That's why I haven't been online....word to the wise: write your passwords down in case the very special secret file you saved them all in DISAPPEARS in the time it takes to stand up and walk to the kitchen to get a cup of cofffee.
So, I've been doing P90X. It's Friday so we aren't doing it tonight (have a friend that visits every Friday to play games) but I can tell you that I have muscles that are showing their presence by way of PAIN. We've done core 2 times now (HATE core but it's so good for you), cardio 2 times (again, laid on the floor at the end and wanted to DIE), the stretching one once which was GREAT and the chest and arms which wasn't bad. I was looking online tonight at Jillian Michaels' Facebook page and there's a picture of her working out troops over seas. The picture shows an entire gymnasium of people doing the dreaded Superman move (of superman-banana in P90X). I said to myself "I've DONE THAT!"
And I exercised when I didn't want to. On the nights that I didn't even bring it up I didn't have to - the cd got put into the player and we were off. It's a matter of telling myself "I CAN DO THIS".
And I'm down another 2 pounds. So that's 5 pounds since I started trying to move more. Oh, and I'm drinking what I term "beveragezilla" every day (72 oz of water). So at the very least I can't sit too long at work - I have to PEE all the time!
The ant bites are nearly gone - but still shadowing my wrists after 2 weeks. And the lawn didn't get finished. But we did exercise 4 out of the last 5 nights. And will do the yoga disc tomorrow. (I'm a bit terrified of that one - it's 90 minutes and it's YOGA.....sun salutation to plank to push up to upward facing dog to push up to plank to runners pose to warrior one to warrior 2 and back to plank......) But I am starting to feel different. And look different. I CAN DO THIS.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
So, I've been doing P90X. It's Friday so we aren't doing it tonight (have a friend that visits every Friday to play games) but I can tell you that I have muscles that are showing their presence by way of PAIN. We've done core 2 times now (HATE core but it's so good for you), cardio 2 times (again, laid on the floor at the end and wanted to DIE), the stretching one once which was GREAT and the chest and arms which wasn't bad. I was looking online tonight at Jillian Michaels' Facebook page and there's a picture of her working out troops over seas. The picture shows an entire gymnasium of people doing the dreaded Superman move (of superman-banana in P90X). I said to myself "I've DONE THAT!"
And I exercised when I didn't want to. On the nights that I didn't even bring it up I didn't have to - the cd got put into the player and we were off. It's a matter of telling myself "I CAN DO THIS".
And I'm down another 2 pounds. So that's 5 pounds since I started trying to move more. Oh, and I'm drinking what I term "beveragezilla" every day (72 oz of water). So at the very least I can't sit too long at work - I have to PEE all the time!
The ant bites are nearly gone - but still shadowing my wrists after 2 weeks. And the lawn didn't get finished. But we did exercise 4 out of the last 5 nights. And will do the yoga disc tomorrow. (I'm a bit terrified of that one - it's 90 minutes and it's YOGA.....sun salutation to plank to push up to upward facing dog to push up to plank to runners pose to warrior one to warrior 2 and back to plank......) But I am starting to feel different. And look different. I CAN DO THIS.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
mexican ant dance
So, didn't do P90X tonight. A very good friend had a birthday today and we went out to dinner to celebrate. Mexican food. I had a veggie tostada and a cheese tamale and it was fantastic. Of course now I feel like a blimp - note: rice? not my friend anymore. I can see how all those people get by on just 1 cup a day - it fills you UP.
And where, you might be asking, do the ants come into play? Well I discovered this weekend, whilst working in the yard, trying to dislodge grass from around a clump of fantastic daffodils, that I am allergic to ant bites. I didn't even realize I was sitting in them till they were all over me and while I am happy to say they didn't bite me everywhere, they did get me on my wrists. Today is the 4th day and these things have swollen up to look like some sort of horrible acne or plague. It's about all I can do to not scratch all the time. I have plastered Caladryl lotion (see: poison oak/ivy stuff) on them and that holds me for about 7 hours and then I have to do it again.
The thing is, I was thinking while out there digging in the dirt, killing off these industrious little (biting) creatures. And (I realize that I'm looking for morals to the story but bear with me) I came up with a couple of correlations. First of all you have the ants. Working SUPER hard to create colonies and working in groups to do it. They can carry an amazingly huge amount of weight, and they just keep on going. Until the job is done. And then they go on to the next thing. Of course I'm thinking about exercise and how my job is not going to be done for a lot of pounds, but it's not impossible. If those tiny little buggars can do it - I can.
Then we come to roots. I don't know if you've ever looked closely at the roots of crab grass or clover before but I have had multiple occasions over the last 2 weeks to see them. At first glance they look like ramen. Not even joking. I'd pull up the old weed barrier and there would be this mass of curly white things in a bunch. And they were DEEP in the ground. Feet from where the stalk was defacing my otherwise beautiful landscape. It took a lot of work to get them out. The deeper the root, the harder it was to pull out. And of course I related this to my eating habits. I have had YEARS to create my bad habits. Years of "oh just go to Taco Bell" or "I'll drive" instead of walking... And the deeper that root is the harder it is to dislodge it. But if you keep at it and just do something consistently you CAN get rid of the roots.
So that's my mission right now: getting rid of the old roots and purposefully planting new ones. And being as consistent as I know how. (And I'm German and Irish - I can do stubborn until it's consistent...)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
And where, you might be asking, do the ants come into play? Well I discovered this weekend, whilst working in the yard, trying to dislodge grass from around a clump of fantastic daffodils, that I am allergic to ant bites. I didn't even realize I was sitting in them till they were all over me and while I am happy to say they didn't bite me everywhere, they did get me on my wrists. Today is the 4th day and these things have swollen up to look like some sort of horrible acne or plague. It's about all I can do to not scratch all the time. I have plastered Caladryl lotion (see: poison oak/ivy stuff) on them and that holds me for about 7 hours and then I have to do it again.
The thing is, I was thinking while out there digging in the dirt, killing off these industrious little (biting) creatures. And (I realize that I'm looking for morals to the story but bear with me) I came up with a couple of correlations. First of all you have the ants. Working SUPER hard to create colonies and working in groups to do it. They can carry an amazingly huge amount of weight, and they just keep on going. Until the job is done. And then they go on to the next thing. Of course I'm thinking about exercise and how my job is not going to be done for a lot of pounds, but it's not impossible. If those tiny little buggars can do it - I can.
Then we come to roots. I don't know if you've ever looked closely at the roots of crab grass or clover before but I have had multiple occasions over the last 2 weeks to see them. At first glance they look like ramen. Not even joking. I'd pull up the old weed barrier and there would be this mass of curly white things in a bunch. And they were DEEP in the ground. Feet from where the stalk was defacing my otherwise beautiful landscape. It took a lot of work to get them out. The deeper the root, the harder it was to pull out. And of course I related this to my eating habits. I have had YEARS to create my bad habits. Years of "oh just go to Taco Bell" or "I'll drive" instead of walking... And the deeper that root is the harder it is to dislodge it. But if you keep at it and just do something consistently you CAN get rid of the roots.
So that's my mission right now: getting rid of the old roots and purposefully planting new ones. And being as consistent as I know how. (And I'm German and Irish - I can do stubborn until it's consistent...)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Core
So today we officially began doing the P90X program in order. And the first cd is Core Synergistics. Oh My Gawds. Add into the mix the fact that my body is having it's hormonal party (sorry boys, ear muffs) and I really just wanted to come home and put my jammas on and watch a PBS miniseries and eat bonbons.
Instead I put my work out clothes on, the most comfortable ones I could find and I did 36 out of 56 of the most excruciating stuff I've done yet. I realize that I've created a very posh little place for my core - underneath all the ice cream, cheese, carbs and McDonald's fries from years past. Yes my core is safe and sound. And today I poked at it from the outer shell. I'm pretty sure it heard me and poked back because I could just sit here on the couch and fall right asleep.
There were things we were supposed to do today that I can't even remember clearly to be able to describe to you but I can tell you there were lunges, a move that they call Superman Banana (superman = lie on the ground on your belly and lift your arms out, then raise your legs and arms and head and hold that for a while. banana = roll over and do the same thing creating the shape of a "c"), and I used some stretchy bands for resistance. Very effective and very tiring. Someday I will be able to get through that whole thing. But in the meantime I'm gonna work till I can't anymore.
And now I'm gonna drink some water and find a fuzzy robe.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Instead I put my work out clothes on, the most comfortable ones I could find and I did 36 out of 56 of the most excruciating stuff I've done yet. I realize that I've created a very posh little place for my core - underneath all the ice cream, cheese, carbs and McDonald's fries from years past. Yes my core is safe and sound. And today I poked at it from the outer shell. I'm pretty sure it heard me and poked back because I could just sit here on the couch and fall right asleep.
There were things we were supposed to do today that I can't even remember clearly to be able to describe to you but I can tell you there were lunges, a move that they call Superman Banana (superman = lie on the ground on your belly and lift your arms out, then raise your legs and arms and head and hold that for a while. banana = roll over and do the same thing creating the shape of a "c"), and I used some stretchy bands for resistance. Very effective and very tiring. Someday I will be able to get through that whole thing. But in the meantime I'm gonna work till I can't anymore.
And now I'm gonna drink some water and find a fuzzy robe.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Back in the Saddle Again
Just weighed myself and I'm down 3 pounds. :) Oh yeah. Moving makes a difference. Finally moving in the right direction.
It's another grey day out there so I'm going to work in the yard and then maybe some more P90X craziness and then meeting friends for dinner.
Happy Sunday everyone!
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
It's another grey day out there so I'm going to work in the yard and then maybe some more P90X craziness and then meeting friends for dinner.
Happy Sunday everyone!
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Stretching is good
So, today I worked in the yard again for 2 hours. Edging by hand is....hard. And thus great exercise. We had a break in the seemingly endless rain and the ground was mostly soft so it could have been much worse. Did I mention how much I love getting instant results? Yeah.
And then we did another P90X. We didn't do any last night, Friday nights around here tend to be game nights so I was happy to do both this afternoon - gardening and the crazy videos. Today's video was all about stretching and let me tell you this was MUCH better than the cardio. Mind you it still pushes you and there are some poses (see Plough) that I simply cannot do. But when all was said and done about 50 minutes of intense stretching and yoga (yes, even the dreaded Plank)went by and while I was winded I felt/feel GREAT.
Had fabulous stir fry for dinner, still no added salt and fresh vegetables make it the best - asparagus, basil, green onions, tofu with black bean sauce (only a little) avocado and of course Sri ra Cha. YUM.
Looking forward to more gardening tomorrow and likely the P90X won't be as kind but it will be exercise. :)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
And then we did another P90X. We didn't do any last night, Friday nights around here tend to be game nights so I was happy to do both this afternoon - gardening and the crazy videos. Today's video was all about stretching and let me tell you this was MUCH better than the cardio. Mind you it still pushes you and there are some poses (see Plough) that I simply cannot do. But when all was said and done about 50 minutes of intense stretching and yoga (yes, even the dreaded Plank)went by and while I was winded I felt/feel GREAT.
Had fabulous stir fry for dinner, still no added salt and fresh vegetables make it the best - asparagus, basil, green onions, tofu with black bean sauce (only a little) avocado and of course Sri ra Cha. YUM.
Looking forward to more gardening tomorrow and likely the P90X won't be as kind but it will be exercise. :)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My Own Private Jillian
Ok, a while back (when he was still "roommate") I told you about buying hubby an exercise program. It's called P90X. I believe it stands for something that ends in extreme. Tonight I am fairly certain it stands for the torture chamber that could be Jillian if you don't do it right.
That's right kiddies. Today I started to count my points again (I hadn't been...for a while...) and only ate my Smart Ones meals (highly recommend their cheesy egg scrambles - yum!) and drank over 1 liter of water (more after this work out tonight). And last night I didn't work out - but tonight WOOOOOHOOO. We moved the coffee table and put the cardio dvd in and about 7 minutes into it I was looking down at my legs saying "why aren't you doing that?" because after running and jumping and some jumping jacks I literally could not move my legs back and forth to do jumping jacks. But I did not give up. I did the entire 45 minute program. Ok, I modified it. HEAVILY. (omg there is some special place in hell for some of those jumping things) But I did it.
And you know what? I feel good. I took a shower immediately because yeah, when you aren't used to working out I think you sweat more than the average faucet drips. (TMI? too bad. it's my blog) But I DID IT. He did it with me. And encouraged me. And we're going to do it again tomorrow.
The whole time I kept thinking "keep going. someday you will look back on how sucky you were at this and you will be able to do the whole thing!" And I pictured Hannah and Olivia and the others on the treadmills, the stairs and the bikes. In the horrifying uni-bra and on television. With Jillian. And I said "I am doing this."
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
That's right kiddies. Today I started to count my points again (I hadn't been...for a while...) and only ate my Smart Ones meals (highly recommend their cheesy egg scrambles - yum!) and drank over 1 liter of water (more after this work out tonight). And last night I didn't work out - but tonight WOOOOOHOOO. We moved the coffee table and put the cardio dvd in and about 7 minutes into it I was looking down at my legs saying "why aren't you doing that?" because after running and jumping and some jumping jacks I literally could not move my legs back and forth to do jumping jacks. But I did not give up. I did the entire 45 minute program. Ok, I modified it. HEAVILY. (omg there is some special place in hell for some of those jumping things) But I did it.
And you know what? I feel good. I took a shower immediately because yeah, when you aren't used to working out I think you sweat more than the average faucet drips. (TMI? too bad. it's my blog) But I DID IT. He did it with me. And encouraged me. And we're going to do it again tomorrow.
The whole time I kept thinking "keep going. someday you will look back on how sucky you were at this and you will be able to do the whole thing!" And I pictured Hannah and Olivia and the others on the treadmills, the stairs and the bikes. In the horrifying uni-bra and on television. With Jillian. And I said "I am doing this."
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
She Did It - So Can We
So in the end she did it. Olivia W. lost nearly 1/2 of her body weight and gained a new life. And she said she did it from the inside out. From changing the tapes on the inside (my phrase) and not allowing herself to believe she couldn't do it or didn't deserve it. Changing a life. And her husband also lost over 100 pounds.
A lot of the people that they showed last night had lost over 100 pounds. That's my goal. I want to lose 100 pounds. And it will take changing how I do things. Which I have already done. It's been 9 months since I started this blog and in those months I've changed what I eat and how I eat. I haven't changed my exercise into a habit....yet. But being ok with eating foods that don't have added salt or oil? Yeah that's HUGE for me. So I can see some of the steps I've taken.
Another thing that Olivia said about her win is that she had to take things in "baby steps". Not looking at the big goal. But doing it bit by bit. Oh yeah, I know that process. My thing is that I'll take baby steps and then go "oooh! cheese!" and go back a few. It's a mind-set that I now know I can do, I just have to want it more than I don't.
Tonight I didn't garden for the first time in over a week. It rained and hailed (and there was a mini-funnel cloud outside my work that FREAKED me out) and so I went to my chiropractor and got a massage on the arm that's been killing me (due to muscles being called forth from the deep). I feel relaxed and much better. And I believe tomorrow (if it's still rainy) I will pull out the hubby's P90-X video and do that. Some friends of mine have been doing that for exercise and I think it's the intensity that I need to make myself do. It's kinda like having Jillian in my living room. (without the black tank top and snarly look every time you get tired)
The people last night were inspiring. And the thing is - I know there are more of me out there. I know that some of you are doing the same thing I am: trying to get healthy. Getting trapped in old habits and old self-talk. But if we keep going. If we don't give up. If we believe in ourselves and we keep PUSHING ourselves we CAN do this. I know it.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
A lot of the people that they showed last night had lost over 100 pounds. That's my goal. I want to lose 100 pounds. And it will take changing how I do things. Which I have already done. It's been 9 months since I started this blog and in those months I've changed what I eat and how I eat. I haven't changed my exercise into a habit....yet. But being ok with eating foods that don't have added salt or oil? Yeah that's HUGE for me. So I can see some of the steps I've taken.
Another thing that Olivia said about her win is that she had to take things in "baby steps". Not looking at the big goal. But doing it bit by bit. Oh yeah, I know that process. My thing is that I'll take baby steps and then go "oooh! cheese!" and go back a few. It's a mind-set that I now know I can do, I just have to want it more than I don't.
Tonight I didn't garden for the first time in over a week. It rained and hailed (and there was a mini-funnel cloud outside my work that FREAKED me out) and so I went to my chiropractor and got a massage on the arm that's been killing me (due to muscles being called forth from the deep). I feel relaxed and much better. And I believe tomorrow (if it's still rainy) I will pull out the hubby's P90-X video and do that. Some friends of mine have been doing that for exercise and I think it's the intensity that I need to make myself do. It's kinda like having Jillian in my living room. (without the black tank top and snarly look every time you get tired)
The people last night were inspiring. And the thing is - I know there are more of me out there. I know that some of you are doing the same thing I am: trying to get healthy. Getting trapped in old habits and old self-talk. But if we keep going. If we don't give up. If we believe in ourselves and we keep PUSHING ourselves we CAN do this. I know it.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Biggest Loser Finale
So the show is on tonight - and I have done gardening for 30 minutes every single day for 6 days now. My right arm feels like it will fall OFF at any minute but I will not stop. The yard needs to get done. And this is my stepping stone. Daily exercise.
Ok, the show is on...will it be Olivia or Hannah? Next up - Me.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Ok, the show is on...will it be Olivia or Hannah? Next up - Me.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Presenting the newest fad in exercise: gardening
Ok, it's not new. It's in fact likely the oldest form of exercise this side of walking but it is in fact new for me to be doing it on a regular basis. And when I go outside in a little bit I will be on my 5th straight day of at least 30 minutes of gardening (see: weeding) in my yard. A little about my yard: We are renting a sweet little house next to a highway with a view of a local mountain and a great commute to my work (1 exit on the freeway, 1 exit off) and the lady that owns this house has some form of OCD. I like to say I have OCD but it's nothing like Judy's. When we met her and her husband she was in the midst of cleaning the house from the last renters - and she was stretching the carpet after having it cleaned. I had no idea you could/should? do that. So she lived here before she got married and she made her yard into a beautiful little putting green of a lawn and surrounded the lawn with decorative flowering bushes (rhododendrons) and flowers (tulips, daffodils) and japanese maple trees. It is adorable. And it takes a LOT of work to keep it looking pristine. And I/we have not been out there doing the work that would need to do to keep it free of weeds.
The first year we lived here when spring came so did all these little green shoots. Like soft little tiny fir trees. All across the flower beds. And we didn't know what they were but thought they were supposed to be there so we let them grow. And they kept growing. By the summer we realized that they weren't in any sort of order and were probably NOT supposed to be there. By fall we were trying to figure out why we couldn't get rid of them. This was my introduction to horsetail. One of the oldest known plants and the current bane of my existence. Far and away ahead of the blackberries that are coming through the side bushes from the highway, these little nasty weeds are EVERYWHERE. Except for on the lawn. That has about 3 types of grass that are steadily being out-grown by clover (which while pretty is actually a grass-killing weed).
All of these things culminated (throw in a visit next month by my dad and step mom) in a frenzy of yard work that began 2 weeks ago and will (crossing fingers) end sometime this week. I have found that I can wear out the ends of my gardening gloves in 3 days (doing serious damage to the newly manicured nails...) and that after 4 days of bending, pulling, stretching, hauling, kneeling for no less than 30 minutes at a time and (so far) no more than 4 hours at a time, the only thing that doesn't hurt is my hair and my eyelashes.
But it has been daily work. Daily EXERCISE!!! WOOHOO!!! And it appeals to the instant gratification part of me that wants to see results NOW. I ate all the salads that I bought last week from Trader Joe's and need to go buy stuff to make my own this week so I'm not tempted to go buy fast food. Doing better at drinking more water but this week has been focused on MOVING. So we'll keep going and see if I can make it a habit.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
The first year we lived here when spring came so did all these little green shoots. Like soft little tiny fir trees. All across the flower beds. And we didn't know what they were but thought they were supposed to be there so we let them grow. And they kept growing. By the summer we realized that they weren't in any sort of order and were probably NOT supposed to be there. By fall we were trying to figure out why we couldn't get rid of them. This was my introduction to horsetail. One of the oldest known plants and the current bane of my existence. Far and away ahead of the blackberries that are coming through the side bushes from the highway, these little nasty weeds are EVERYWHERE. Except for on the lawn. That has about 3 types of grass that are steadily being out-grown by clover (which while pretty is actually a grass-killing weed).
All of these things culminated (throw in a visit next month by my dad and step mom) in a frenzy of yard work that began 2 weeks ago and will (crossing fingers) end sometime this week. I have found that I can wear out the ends of my gardening gloves in 3 days (doing serious damage to the newly manicured nails...) and that after 4 days of bending, pulling, stretching, hauling, kneeling for no less than 30 minutes at a time and (so far) no more than 4 hours at a time, the only thing that doesn't hurt is my hair and my eyelashes.
But it has been daily work. Daily EXERCISE!!! WOOHOO!!! And it appeals to the instant gratification part of me that wants to see results NOW. I ate all the salads that I bought last week from Trader Joe's and need to go buy stuff to make my own this week so I'm not tempted to go buy fast food. Doing better at drinking more water but this week has been focused on MOVING. So we'll keep going and see if I can make it a habit.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Dirt and Tears
Last night was Biggest Loser night. A friend of mine from childhood is personal friends with one of the women, Olivia, who is going to the finals with her sister Hannah. Lisa, my friend, warned that the episode would make me cry. What I did not expect was that it would floor me. I didn't cry. I SOBBED. Watching the stories of the final 4 was devastating and inspiring. I am now where Olivia and Hannah began. I am (thank goodness) nowhere near the only guy left was when he started but I know where the ladies started. I'm there. And I don't have Bob and Jillian and a gym and television cameras etc etc. But I have me. And my unbelievably supportive husband. And my goal. And a knowledge that I can do this.
I sat there and listened to their stories and I related so much to the struggle. The pain. Hannah was especially heart-wrenching. She stood in front of the camera and talked about wanting to have a family "but I'm not sure I can, I mean *gestures to self* who could love this?" Oh my goodness. I absolutely sobbed. Prompting hubby to come and hold me (which incidentally for any males that may read this blog is exACTLY what you are supposed to do in situations like this). God, I know that feeling. The last conversation I had with my mom's mom before she died ended with her telling me that I should lose weight so I could find a man. Swear. And I know that even my father who is so happy for me is just happy that I found someone that could love a big girl. I know it. "You're such a pretty girl. If you could just lose weight." It's not a unique phrase, I'm certain. And if you start to believe that you lose a part of yourself. I don't believe that....anymore. But I did for a long time. It took me a long time to change those tapes in my head. From "I'm never going to be able to do this" to "I can do anything if I put my mind and energy to it."
What these people have done on this show (with some clever editing focused on wrenching the emotion out of scenes) is worked literally their asses off. And the successful ones are the ones that have fought through these old tapes and said "I believe in me and I know I can do this." At the end of last night's episode Hannah said "I know I can do anything."
So today I got up and walked during the day. No speed walking but it was moving. And I will do it again tomorrow. And then I got home and put my grubbies on and worked hard in the yard for at least 30 minutes (I don't know how long it was exactly) pulling weeds, turning the soil. It felt good. And I can feel that my muscles in my butt and thighs are still there. Yay! I will do it again tomorrow. And each day add more. That's the thing, these people worked HARD. Past the edge of where they thought they could. I can't imagine running a marathon. I can't imagine running a MILE at this point. But I can tell you this - I WILL (run the mile...no promises or goals on the marathon).
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, May 16, 2011
State of Mind
2 pounds down. So there's that. And I've been trying to re focus my head, reminding myself that while the grilled cheese sandwich would taste so good it will not feel good.
Tonight I stopped at Trader Joe's and bought pre-made salads and soups for the week and am setting myself up for a healthy week.
It's the future I'm working towards, my future. And in order to make my future what I want I have to live as if I'm already there. Or something like that right?
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tonight I stopped at Trader Joe's and bought pre-made salads and soups for the week and am setting myself up for a healthy week.
It's the future I'm working towards, my future. And in order to make my future what I want I have to live as if I'm already there. Or something like that right?
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
How Much Do You Want This?
Hi, it's been a while since I've been on here. I got very sick and am still trying to get rid of the cold that never ended. (Could've been worse, I thought it was headed to pneumonia at one point and am still coughing like crazy.) I have been on what Elizabeth Gilbert called a "no carbs left behind diet". And it shows on the scale. I am back to only being down 20 pounds.
I swear to you there is a part of me that wanted to not post on here and be honest with the numbers. Just so freaking frustrating. But I own those 17 pounds that have come back. Every single one of them represents Thai food, pizza, sandwiches, cheese, donuts. And not getting up and moving every day.
So (after eating veggies with tofu and drinking a big glass of water) I am sitting on the couch tonight watching NBC's The Biggest Loser. A friend of mine is personal friends with Olivia Ward who is one of the top performers on this show and I was curious to see how she's doing. And I'm watching these people just pound it. Inspiring themselves to keep going even after they literally fall down. Hearing Jillian yell at them (you know she's the trainer I'd have to have) and watching them keep going. I can picture myself on this show. The horrifying sports bra and spandex pants that show every single bump and standing on that scale for all the world to see. Crying, oh yes I know I'd cry and very likely yell back at Jillian. But the end result is me. Doing the work. The contestants each talk about how they felt during week 1 where they were not going to put this off one more day. That's the motivation I need to give myself. Because no one else is going to lose this weight for me. No one but me.
So I'm still at it. And I'm not giving up. I refuse. I will keep going, start again, whatever I need to do.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
I swear to you there is a part of me that wanted to not post on here and be honest with the numbers. Just so freaking frustrating. But I own those 17 pounds that have come back. Every single one of them represents Thai food, pizza, sandwiches, cheese, donuts. And not getting up and moving every day.
So (after eating veggies with tofu and drinking a big glass of water) I am sitting on the couch tonight watching NBC's The Biggest Loser. A friend of mine is personal friends with Olivia Ward who is one of the top performers on this show and I was curious to see how she's doing. And I'm watching these people just pound it. Inspiring themselves to keep going even after they literally fall down. Hearing Jillian yell at them (you know she's the trainer I'd have to have) and watching them keep going. I can picture myself on this show. The horrifying sports bra and spandex pants that show every single bump and standing on that scale for all the world to see. Crying, oh yes I know I'd cry and very likely yell back at Jillian. But the end result is me. Doing the work. The contestants each talk about how they felt during week 1 where they were not going to put this off one more day. That's the motivation I need to give myself. Because no one else is going to lose this weight for me. No one but me.
So I'm still at it. And I'm not giving up. I refuse. I will keep going, start again, whatever I need to do.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Saturday, April 16, 2011
hmmmmm - personal trainers?
ok, so my back is out and I'm fighting a cold. But I did just read this very interesting article about a site that will hook you up with a personal trainer for as low as $10 a week. Interesting read at the very least.
Tomorrow I will walk up Heart Attack Hill. And then likely go back to bed.
http://digitallife.today.com/_news/2011/04/14/6468326-get-a-personal-trainer-for-10-a-week
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tomorrow I will walk up Heart Attack Hill. And then likely go back to bed.
http://digitallife.today.com/_news/2011/04/14/6468326-get-a-personal-trainer-for-10-a-week
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, April 11, 2011
Yogi Berra
Instead of walking up the hill (in the cold and rain) tonight we found some yoga instruction on Netflix. And lemme just tell you I did some things tonight (and tried some things) that my body just plain old is NOT able to do. Wow. And it's not like you're jumping up and down, nope. You're holding your body up on your hands and pushing yourself into an inverted V with your butt in the air, feet flat on the ground. I cannot do the shoulder stands. Just can't. And there's one, I think it's called The Plow, it's evil. I can't do it. Hubby on the other hand finally made it to the point that his knees were resting on his forehead and toes on or near the floor. The thing is, we did 30 minutes. And talked about it afterwards and said "if we do this again, at least once or twice a week for a month we will be much better at it." Interesting after-effects: I got a headache and my stomach ached, almost nauseous and I was thisclose to having a charlie-horse in my left calf after siting on the ground and holding onto my foot (leg outstretched). I will be very interested to see where I am with this in a month. It's exercise. And I feel much better having done it.
Had McDonald's for breakfast again. Those damn sandwiches are my downfall. English muffin, egg and cheese. And so not good for me. I'm still hungry a couple of hours later so I know it's not good for me. If only oatmeal tasted like that sandwich does!! Had a salad from Jack in the Box for lunch. (yeah, I know....much better idea to make my own lunch, I need salad stuff) Didn't use all the dressing, but did leave the cheese on it. *sigh* Came home and had an apple and then after doing yoga with hubby ate home-made Pho.
I know it's a game that I just need to believe I like. This exercise stuff. I always feel better when I'm done. But I rarely want to begin. Just keep swimming. Every day. Little by little I will do it. I'm back to minus 36 pounds. I want to reach 40 by the end of the month. Just have to keep moving. I can do this.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Had McDonald's for breakfast again. Those damn sandwiches are my downfall. English muffin, egg and cheese. And so not good for me. I'm still hungry a couple of hours later so I know it's not good for me. If only oatmeal tasted like that sandwich does!! Had a salad from Jack in the Box for lunch. (yeah, I know....much better idea to make my own lunch, I need salad stuff) Didn't use all the dressing, but did leave the cheese on it. *sigh* Came home and had an apple and then after doing yoga with hubby ate home-made Pho.
I know it's a game that I just need to believe I like. This exercise stuff. I always feel better when I'm done. But I rarely want to begin. Just keep swimming. Every day. Little by little I will do it. I'm back to minus 36 pounds. I want to reach 40 by the end of the month. Just have to keep moving. I can do this.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Sunday, April 10, 2011
just keep swimming
Ok, it wasn't every single day this week but it was almost every single day. I purposefully did exercise. Mostly walking up heartattack hill with hubby, but hey that counts. And while he has said he will start dragging me up it (resulting in a "I dare you to try buddy" look from me) he hasn't had to. Yesterday it was yard work (me vs. dandelions) and that counts!!
I've done better at the food this week. I just can't go back to the old ways of eating. It doesn't feel good. So, it's been a concerted effort to find new things to eat, and have them available when I'm hungry (because as I've established, I am NOT patient).
Have been recently inspired by friends on facebook land who are making exercise a part of their daily life. And I keep repeating to myself "you know you can do it". It's been a matter of making the habit to (before assuming the dent on the couch after work) going straight to the room to change into walking outfit and tennis shoes (New Balance) and leave the house before doing anything else at night. I've let go of the fantasy that I'll wake up at 5am dying to walk. It's just not going to happen right now. Maybe someday. Right now my fantasy is 1 whole week where I walk every day. For 10 minutes. And then we'll see.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
I've done better at the food this week. I just can't go back to the old ways of eating. It doesn't feel good. So, it's been a concerted effort to find new things to eat, and have them available when I'm hungry (because as I've established, I am NOT patient).
Have been recently inspired by friends on facebook land who are making exercise a part of their daily life. And I keep repeating to myself "you know you can do it". It's been a matter of making the habit to (before assuming the dent on the couch after work) going straight to the room to change into walking outfit and tennis shoes (New Balance) and leave the house before doing anything else at night. I've let go of the fantasy that I'll wake up at 5am dying to walk. It's just not going to happen right now. Maybe someday. Right now my fantasy is 1 whole week where I walk every day. For 10 minutes. And then we'll see.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
teeeny tiny little steps
ok so 2 weeks have gone by since I've either charted my stuff in weight watchers or been on here to really blog. How this happens, this time flying by I don't know. But I can tell you I've still not gotten the exercise daily habit going. We've had company one weekend, then last weekend went out of town to see a bunch of friends and if there was a carb around me I inhaled it. It is so much easier to eat food that is good for me when I'm at home. Going out to dinner is NOT easy on a low carb, high veggie diet.
So, confessions: arabian food - falafels, rice and yummy flat bread, Spaghetti Factory, drinks drinks and more drinks, french toast, breakfast scramble. I think there are more things but those are the highlights. And not much walking.
But today I walked up heart attack hill in the rain and hail. And it didn't feel quite as bad as the last time I trudged up the hill. So there's that.
And I didn't go out to eat today. Oatmeal with banana. Stir-fry vegetables, medium sweet potato with some sprays of "I can't believe it's not butter" (not on my current diet list but not as bad as putting real butter on), coffee, an apple and soon to be eaten stir fry and Pho.
And now for something completely different:
Am having a conflict of sorts regarding one of my favorite past times: watching tv. He hates it. Thinks it's a total waste of time and energy (which I won't argue against) and I like to sit and just veg. He has told me again, and again and just tonight again that he would rather me be on Facebook (which he also loathes) than watch tv. So, all you out there that deal with conflicts at home.... share the ideas. I have told him that I'm not going to stop watching tv. That I will choose to watch with headphones to not bug him, because he lives here too and I feel like I should be fair. But at the same time...I am not stopping. In fact, sadly I will admit here and now to my stubbornness...., the more he talks to me about it the more I want to watch it. Deliberately. Yup, that's oppositional if not defiance. And it's very, very ME. So, new to this marriage stuff I ask for ideas or examples on how you have dealt with conflict in your relationships. I'm open to trying new ideas. But I am not letting go of the remote. There's your topic....discuss...
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
So, confessions: arabian food - falafels, rice and yummy flat bread, Spaghetti Factory, drinks drinks and more drinks, french toast, breakfast scramble. I think there are more things but those are the highlights. And not much walking.
But today I walked up heart attack hill in the rain and hail. And it didn't feel quite as bad as the last time I trudged up the hill. So there's that.
And I didn't go out to eat today. Oatmeal with banana. Stir-fry vegetables, medium sweet potato with some sprays of "I can't believe it's not butter" (not on my current diet list but not as bad as putting real butter on), coffee, an apple and soon to be eaten stir fry and Pho.
And now for something completely different:
Am having a conflict of sorts regarding one of my favorite past times: watching tv. He hates it. Thinks it's a total waste of time and energy (which I won't argue against) and I like to sit and just veg. He has told me again, and again and just tonight again that he would rather me be on Facebook (which he also loathes) than watch tv. So, all you out there that deal with conflicts at home.... share the ideas. I have told him that I'm not going to stop watching tv. That I will choose to watch with headphones to not bug him, because he lives here too and I feel like I should be fair. But at the same time...I am not stopping. In fact, sadly I will admit here and now to my stubbornness...., the more he talks to me about it the more I want to watch it. Deliberately. Yup, that's oppositional if not defiance. And it's very, very ME. So, new to this marriage stuff I ask for ideas or examples on how you have dealt with conflict in your relationships. I'm open to trying new ideas. But I am not letting go of the remote. There's your topic....discuss...
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Get your revolution on
This is the only thing fit to post today - and you should go to this link. I HIGHLY recommend it.
Tomorrow morning I will get up and walk. Even if it's for 3 minutes.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
http://www.revolutionaryact.com/101ways/
Tomorrow morning I will get up and walk. Even if it's for 3 minutes.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
http://www.revolutionaryact.com/101ways/
Thursday, March 24, 2011
comment settings
so, for some reason I can't comment on comments on this site....if anyone one has any idea how to fix that let me know....I must have hit a setting somehow and don't know how to un-set it.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The usual suspects
Ever see this movie? (title of blog) Kevin Spacey. Great flick. And today oh boy did I dabble in the usual suspects. Fast food? check. chocolate? check. ice cream? (dear lord) check. SODA? check. Reason? Anger. Yup. My old pattern emerges. Oooh I was just the other side of a righteous bitch today. I tried to keep it from smacking people around but I know that I let my irritation show. I had ZERO patience for stupidity. None. And that's not good. Because let's face it, EVERYONE has a bad day. Everyone makes mistakes. And I'm sorry to say that anyone that did that around me today got either a snarky comment, flat out blunt reply (see: rude) or even bitchy attitude. I don't know exactly why. I don't have an excuse. I just was PISSY.
And about 2pm my kind-hearted co-worker (who had been on the receiving end of my bitch-snappyness) offered to get me something from McDonald's. If I said this was the only thing I'd eaten from McD's today I'd be lying. Yup. I had a sausage mcmuffin (no sausage) and an oatmeal (which sounds healthy but comes with cream and brown sugar in it unless you ask for it to not be in there). An orange juice. A coffee (with cream and equal) AND a veggie whopper from Burger King for lunch later in the day. And my co-worker brought me a diet soda and a small sundae with chocolate. Yes. I ate all of it.
And I didn't smack anyone at work.
So there's THAT.
But when I got home I got right into my hoodie and sweats and (with my sweet hubby who said "wait for me") trudged up heart attack hill and further down the street and back home again. THAT counts. THAT is part of my goal this week.
As for all that crap I ate let's just say this here and now: I may love eggs and cheese and chocolate. But I do NOT love fast food. Can't eat it. Just can't do it any more. It all tastes like it has some sort of waxy covering to it. Hell, maybe it does I dunno'. But either way it's bad for me.
The upside? I walked up heartattack hill today. :) And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
And about 2pm my kind-hearted co-worker (who had been on the receiving end of my bitch-snappyness) offered to get me something from McDonald's. If I said this was the only thing I'd eaten from McD's today I'd be lying. Yup. I had a sausage mcmuffin (no sausage) and an oatmeal (which sounds healthy but comes with cream and brown sugar in it unless you ask for it to not be in there). An orange juice. A coffee (with cream and equal) AND a veggie whopper from Burger King for lunch later in the day. And my co-worker brought me a diet soda and a small sundae with chocolate. Yes. I ate all of it.
And I didn't smack anyone at work.
So there's THAT.
But when I got home I got right into my hoodie and sweats and (with my sweet hubby who said "wait for me") trudged up heart attack hill and further down the street and back home again. THAT counts. THAT is part of my goal this week.
As for all that crap I ate let's just say this here and now: I may love eggs and cheese and chocolate. But I do NOT love fast food. Can't eat it. Just can't do it any more. It all tastes like it has some sort of waxy covering to it. Hell, maybe it does I dunno'. But either way it's bad for me.
The upside? I walked up heartattack hill today. :) And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
and a 1 and a 2
Wow, really I wrote on the 14th but not since? See that's how my life has been. *poof* gone by in a flash.
Diet is still in effect, and by now it really is every day stuff. I have eaten bread and eggs and cheese once a week but that's once a week....instead of 3 times a day! And I have decided that I cannot live with only vinegar on my salads. But I can live with dressing out of a spray bottle. Which, as we've discussed, covers more area and still gives the taste I want. A couple of nights ago we decided to order Thai food from our favorite place. It had been a busy weekend - a spiritual retreat on Friday night with one friend, a tattoo for me (my first) on Saturday with another friend and then various and sundry projects and cleaning on Sunday - prepping for another friend to come visit. So we decided it was ok to splurge. Hadn't had Thai in over a month. And won't be having it again for a long time. Sad to say I cannot eat my lovely Thai food anymore. It makes my stomach upset!! How crazy is that?! Food I would have inhaled a month ago made me feel bloated, sick to my stomach and just icky. So, if I eat Thai again (when I eat it again) it will be home-made with fresh veggies and light on the sauces. That tells me that really and truly what we should be eating is the freshest foods. No more of this processed and heavily sauced stuff. Can't do it.
On Sunday I walked up heartattack hill and cleaned house for hours. On Monday I walked for 10 minutes, fast. And tonight I haven't done it yet but I will be doing 10 minutes of activity. Sit ups, push ups, leg lifts, weights and probably some yoga. It is my goal to do 10 minutes of purposeful activity every day this week. And then next week I will make it 20. Yesterday I was talking to a friend and we were encouraging each other and I said I'd do 15 but today I was reading about another friend of mine who has been running nearly every day for 3 weeks now and "lost a chin". (he's a big boy comedian) So I can do 20.
Did I mention I got my first tattoo on Saturday? Yep. Big deal. I surprised even myself but there were several reasons for following through with this. First was to FOLLOW THROUGH with something I put my mind to. Second was because I turned 40 this year and I wanted to do something BIG to commemorate it. (yes, I had my party which counts, and yes I got married which also MAJORLY counts) But I wanted something physical. Third reason was to commemorate my kitty cat. That was such a singularly painful experience that I felt I really needed to let go of some stuff and so I focused on her when it was painful. Fourth reason is what is actually IN the tattoo. It is a combination of symbols inside a 5 pointed star. Stars are representative of many things in many different spiritual belief systems and I have a special attachment to the stars. Each point on the star has a different symbol in it that represents something different to me. And I wanted something that represented a whole picture of my life. Spirituality. Nature. Energy. The beach. And New Zealand. Because when I get fit enough I will go there and hike.
So going into this tattoo I was nervous but excited. Nervous because well I'm not a fan of pain. Let's be honest. And excited because I created this tattoo. I found a symbol I liked and then I changed it and made it my own. One of my best friends, the woman who inspired me to start weight watchers actually, came down to go with me. She has a gorgeous tattoo. And she knew what I would need. And what I should and shouldn't do. And it didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as I'd anticipated it might. Don't get me wrong. It HURT. In fact there were a few times I had to close my eyes and remind myself to NOT jerk my leg away from the pain. And in those times I concentrated on breathing. Yoga breathing teaches you to be mindful (pay attention) when you breathe in, pulling your stomach tightly, and breathe out like you see the women giving birth. In for 3 and out for 6. Eyes closed and breathing through the pain.
And when it was done, just an hour later, I had a beautiful piece of art that I helped to create. And I had pushed myself to go through the pain. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. And I showed myself that I really can do anything I put my mind to. Really. Step by step. Purposefully. And consistently.
So I will. This exercise part of the change is going to happen. In the conversation I had last night I was saying "if only I could get to the point in my head where I WANTED to do it, that's the key". So I have to tell myself I want to do this. And start at 10 minutes. And go from there.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Diet is still in effect, and by now it really is every day stuff. I have eaten bread and eggs and cheese once a week but that's once a week....instead of 3 times a day! And I have decided that I cannot live with only vinegar on my salads. But I can live with dressing out of a spray bottle. Which, as we've discussed, covers more area and still gives the taste I want. A couple of nights ago we decided to order Thai food from our favorite place. It had been a busy weekend - a spiritual retreat on Friday night with one friend, a tattoo for me (my first) on Saturday with another friend and then various and sundry projects and cleaning on Sunday - prepping for another friend to come visit. So we decided it was ok to splurge. Hadn't had Thai in over a month. And won't be having it again for a long time. Sad to say I cannot eat my lovely Thai food anymore. It makes my stomach upset!! How crazy is that?! Food I would have inhaled a month ago made me feel bloated, sick to my stomach and just icky. So, if I eat Thai again (when I eat it again) it will be home-made with fresh veggies and light on the sauces. That tells me that really and truly what we should be eating is the freshest foods. No more of this processed and heavily sauced stuff. Can't do it.
On Sunday I walked up heartattack hill and cleaned house for hours. On Monday I walked for 10 minutes, fast. And tonight I haven't done it yet but I will be doing 10 minutes of activity. Sit ups, push ups, leg lifts, weights and probably some yoga. It is my goal to do 10 minutes of purposeful activity every day this week. And then next week I will make it 20. Yesterday I was talking to a friend and we were encouraging each other and I said I'd do 15 but today I was reading about another friend of mine who has been running nearly every day for 3 weeks now and "lost a chin". (he's a big boy comedian) So I can do 20.
Did I mention I got my first tattoo on Saturday? Yep. Big deal. I surprised even myself but there were several reasons for following through with this. First was to FOLLOW THROUGH with something I put my mind to. Second was because I turned 40 this year and I wanted to do something BIG to commemorate it. (yes, I had my party which counts, and yes I got married which also MAJORLY counts) But I wanted something physical. Third reason was to commemorate my kitty cat. That was such a singularly painful experience that I felt I really needed to let go of some stuff and so I focused on her when it was painful. Fourth reason is what is actually IN the tattoo. It is a combination of symbols inside a 5 pointed star. Stars are representative of many things in many different spiritual belief systems and I have a special attachment to the stars. Each point on the star has a different symbol in it that represents something different to me. And I wanted something that represented a whole picture of my life. Spirituality. Nature. Energy. The beach. And New Zealand. Because when I get fit enough I will go there and hike.
So going into this tattoo I was nervous but excited. Nervous because well I'm not a fan of pain. Let's be honest. And excited because I created this tattoo. I found a symbol I liked and then I changed it and made it my own. One of my best friends, the woman who inspired me to start weight watchers actually, came down to go with me. She has a gorgeous tattoo. And she knew what I would need. And what I should and shouldn't do. And it didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as I'd anticipated it might. Don't get me wrong. It HURT. In fact there were a few times I had to close my eyes and remind myself to NOT jerk my leg away from the pain. And in those times I concentrated on breathing. Yoga breathing teaches you to be mindful (pay attention) when you breathe in, pulling your stomach tightly, and breathe out like you see the women giving birth. In for 3 and out for 6. Eyes closed and breathing through the pain.
And when it was done, just an hour later, I had a beautiful piece of art that I helped to create. And I had pushed myself to go through the pain. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. And I showed myself that I really can do anything I put my mind to. Really. Step by step. Purposefully. And consistently.
So I will. This exercise part of the change is going to happen. In the conversation I had last night I was saying "if only I could get to the point in my head where I WANTED to do it, that's the key". So I have to tell myself I want to do this. And start at 10 minutes. And go from there.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, March 14, 2011
carpet the den
Yup, more big stuff happening in the world. The kind of stuff that makes you feel tiny. Like a grain of sand on the beach. My heart is with the people in Japan. I cannot imagine that amount of loss. It underscores my personal motto of Carpe Diem - seize the moment. 'Cause you never know when you're going to be done with life as you know it.
We're still on the diet, veggies and beans and tofu. We had sandwiches with the family on the weekend and I can tell you that I'm really done with the heavy carbs. Bread and cheese...yeah, I can't eat that anymore. It just makes me feel better to be eating the veggies and fruits. And to tell you the truth by now I'm used to the no salt or sugar (except in coffee).
I forgot to stand on the scale this week but I know I'm on my way to the goals. Just have to keep pretzeling myself into those yoga moves - hey I can touch my toes now...that's a good thing. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
We're still on the diet, veggies and beans and tofu. We had sandwiches with the family on the weekend and I can tell you that I'm really done with the heavy carbs. Bread and cheese...yeah, I can't eat that anymore. It just makes me feel better to be eating the veggies and fruits. And to tell you the truth by now I'm used to the no salt or sugar (except in coffee).
I forgot to stand on the scale this week but I know I'm on my way to the goals. Just have to keep pretzeling myself into those yoga moves - hey I can touch my toes now...that's a good thing. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Split Pea Yoga Master
So I will spare you details but summarize the last couple of days with advice to steer clear of split peas.
They canNOT be good for you. No need for any more info on that. Just know they're bad " 'm kay?"
Ok, now then things are back on track after the weekend's fun. Back to veggies with little to no cravings for cheese. We went shopping and bought some almond milk to use in cooking. Compared it to Silk Soy milk and it's slightly higher in sodium content but not by much. Both are good. I've never been a milk drinker so it's no big change for me. I do like it in my oatmeal in the mornings. And I am now used to the no added salt diet. It took me a little bit to get used to it but I do recommend trying it.
I started this post on Tuesday and now it's Wednesday night. I am happy to be able to report that I did 22 minutes of exercise tonight. We were discussing the fact that we've kind of plateau'd on this new diet and so now comes the WORK part of the losing weight part. The moving part. Diet is 1/2 of it. Now to make exercise a habit. I'm still failing miserably when it comes to getting up and walking while at work. There's just so much to do! And I know - there will ALWAYS be something to do. But yeah. I don't move enough.
So tonight I came home and put the Wii Fit on and put myself through a short run, some strengthening exercises that included a move that felt and looked suspiciously like sit ups but they call something else (as if you can make it easier by not calling it a sit up). Then I did all of the yoga moves that I've learned so far. And I seriously do NOT like the Tree pose. You are supposed to grab one leg and put your foot up on the inner thigh of the other leg (yeah, my leg goes somewhere just above the knee), then stand with your arms above your head, hands clasped and breathe. Steadily. And don't wobble. Whatever you do DON'T WOBBLE! (or fall over). It is much harder than it looks. But I did it.
And then, after doing a new pose that I don't remember the name of but also involved standing on one leg and pulling your knee into your rib cage when you inhale, my wonderful cook made me a fantastic stir fry dish of onion, cilantro, basil, red pepper, black beans, tomato, avocado, bean sprouts and mango. Y U M M Y!!! And for dessert? Mixed berries and soy milk blended up into a cold, sweet creamy dish. VERY GOOD.
I am definitely getting used to the diet. For lunch I went across the street to the deli and bought 2 salads to go. One that I never in a million years would have bought 2 months ago, it had BEETS in it. And the other was a regular garden salad. No sodas. No fries. I could have. But I would only have been cheating me.
So now I just need to make this exercise thing a habit. Oh, and the Wii? Tonight it told me I'd lost another couple of pounds. Of course it's been weighing me in at higher #s than my regular scale so I hated it to begin with but I am inching ever closer to my next goal. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
They canNOT be good for you. No need for any more info on that. Just know they're bad " 'm kay?"
Ok, now then things are back on track after the weekend's fun. Back to veggies with little to no cravings for cheese. We went shopping and bought some almond milk to use in cooking. Compared it to Silk Soy milk and it's slightly higher in sodium content but not by much. Both are good. I've never been a milk drinker so it's no big change for me. I do like it in my oatmeal in the mornings. And I am now used to the no added salt diet. It took me a little bit to get used to it but I do recommend trying it.
I started this post on Tuesday and now it's Wednesday night. I am happy to be able to report that I did 22 minutes of exercise tonight. We were discussing the fact that we've kind of plateau'd on this new diet and so now comes the WORK part of the losing weight part. The moving part. Diet is 1/2 of it. Now to make exercise a habit. I'm still failing miserably when it comes to getting up and walking while at work. There's just so much to do! And I know - there will ALWAYS be something to do. But yeah. I don't move enough.
So tonight I came home and put the Wii Fit on and put myself through a short run, some strengthening exercises that included a move that felt and looked suspiciously like sit ups but they call something else (as if you can make it easier by not calling it a sit up). Then I did all of the yoga moves that I've learned so far. And I seriously do NOT like the Tree pose. You are supposed to grab one leg and put your foot up on the inner thigh of the other leg (yeah, my leg goes somewhere just above the knee), then stand with your arms above your head, hands clasped and breathe. Steadily. And don't wobble. Whatever you do DON'T WOBBLE! (or fall over). It is much harder than it looks. But I did it.
And then, after doing a new pose that I don't remember the name of but also involved standing on one leg and pulling your knee into your rib cage when you inhale, my wonderful cook made me a fantastic stir fry dish of onion, cilantro, basil, red pepper, black beans, tomato, avocado, bean sprouts and mango. Y U M M Y!!! And for dessert? Mixed berries and soy milk blended up into a cold, sweet creamy dish. VERY GOOD.
I am definitely getting used to the diet. For lunch I went across the street to the deli and bought 2 salads to go. One that I never in a million years would have bought 2 months ago, it had BEETS in it. And the other was a regular garden salad. No sodas. No fries. I could have. But I would only have been cheating me.
So now I just need to make this exercise thing a habit. Oh, and the Wii? Tonight it told me I'd lost another couple of pounds. Of course it's been weighing me in at higher #s than my regular scale so I hated it to begin with but I am inching ever closer to my next goal. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Are Wii Having Fun Yet?
Ok, so no progress on the weight loss this week. I can tell you exactly why too....cheese entered my body again this weekend. Along with a bunch of wine. Yowza. So, Friday night we went to Gustav's and had the yummy but extremely salty food. Saturday I woke up feeling like I needed to drink more water (hmmm, think if you eat too much salt your body wants water?? Yeah, I think so.) and so on the way to our friends' house we picked up some Smart Waters as well as bananas and apples.
A side note here about Smart Water. What makes it smart? That the "makers" of this product are smart enough to bottle it in such a way as to get suckers like me to buy it? I dunno. But I do like it. I could likely have just filled a bottle at home with our filtered water but I didn't have a bottle. I do now.
A few months ago 10 of us bought tickets through Groupon (which has some great deals and also I believe advertises on my page...the more you click the more I'll get points or something, I dunno) for a day of wine tasting at local wineries with a limo ride and lunch. Yesterday was the day to do the trip. I think had this come up after we started our new diet I wouldn't have gone, but as it was the tickets were purchased and we were looking forward to something new. (I'd never done this before.) Limo picked us up at 10:45am at a central meeting spot (home of one of the couples going). White stretch limo that "seats 10". Indeed it does seat 10 but comfortably? Probably 8. It wasn't bad, a long C shaped bench of seats with glasses for wine (which we were encouraged to bring for ourselves) and a snack basket that was universally panned by all. The basket consisted of crackers and cookies and there was a "platter" of cubed meats and cheeses and a little bit of fruit. Luckily for us one of the people brought strawberries and we had bought some Fuji (best apples ever) apples and bananas. Let me tell you that it is a very odd thing indeed to be riding in a car with an open container of alcohol, and DRINKING IT. Our driver was quite sober and patient with a group that got progressively rowdier until on the way home the littlest one of the bunch finally lost it....out the back window...
I was at the opposite end so I had no idea what had happened until someone said that the driver of the car next to us was laughing his ass off while she stuck her head (and a bag that didn't hold out well) out the window. Ahhh yes. Winos R Us.
Still it was a lovely drive, great company and we came home with 2 great bottles of wine and I got a shirt that says "Grateful Red" on it from one of the places. (Am wearing it now actually, very comfy.) So my breakfast was the very healthy oatmeal with soy milk, honey and a banana. Lunch was cheese cubes, crackers, a sliver of melon and probably about a bottle of wine all together. (3 vineyards, between 5 and 8 tastes per place per person...) When we got home everyone was positive they were dying of hunger (and we were a bit hungry too) so after buying some activated charcoal for my little friend C who was still looking rather green (if you ever need help with nausea/vomiting/stomach issues of any kind go buy a bottle at your local grocery store, probably in the vitamin section. I keep some with me at all times. It cures hangovers too.) we ordered food to go from the mexican place down the street.
That's right, after almost 3 weeks of little to no cheese, NO rice and very low sodium I had a cheese enchilada with rice and beans and chips and salsa and a tsp of guacamole. It was fantastic. And by 9pm I was so tired that I went to bed. It literally made me feel like I'd been drugged. Between all the wine and the heavy food I was very sleepy.
So today the scale had not moved further which was to be expected but I FINALLY made myself move. It was nice enough to go outside and walk but I didn't go outside. Instead, after a brief flirtation with organization (that is an ongoing process with our newly combined household) I got the Wii Fit stuff out and I stepped on the board again. The last time I'd been on it (because it keeps track) was near the end of September. And between then and now I've lost 11 pounds!! So that made me happy. I am still NOT where I want to be but I am on my way.
I decided to go through the yoga moves today. The breathing one is great (you focus on breathing in and out through your nose and using your abdominal muscles, wherever they are, on exhaling) and there was the warrior pose, the greeting the sun pose and the tree. I did each of them twice through and on the greeting the sun pose there's one point where you are supposed to exhale and touch your toes. HAHAHAHAHAHA I can touch my toes if I'm sitting on my bed putting my socks on. NOT if I'm standing upright and reaching for them. But after the 2nd time through I was able to briefly get there. And I know that the more I do this the more flexible I will be. The focus today was on balance and working on the hips and thighs. I did 30 minutes and was/am very proud of myself. Ended it with the "dance" step and a short run. Felt/feel great and am planning to do it again tomorrow morning. This can be my start of a new habit. And I am positive it's the key to pushing the weight numbers back down again. Diet + Exercise = weight loss success.
Today I had oatmeal as usual and haven't been tempted to cheat again. (of course there isn't any cheese or bread to cheat with but still I was expecting some cravings after all the stuff I ate this weekend) I generally don't like Sunday afternoons because I start to think about going back to work and that gets me in a funk. But not today. And I'm quite sure that the exercise has everything to do with it.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
A side note here about Smart Water. What makes it smart? That the "makers" of this product are smart enough to bottle it in such a way as to get suckers like me to buy it? I dunno. But I do like it. I could likely have just filled a bottle at home with our filtered water but I didn't have a bottle. I do now.
A few months ago 10 of us bought tickets through Groupon (which has some great deals and also I believe advertises on my page...the more you click the more I'll get points or something, I dunno) for a day of wine tasting at local wineries with a limo ride and lunch. Yesterday was the day to do the trip. I think had this come up after we started our new diet I wouldn't have gone, but as it was the tickets were purchased and we were looking forward to something new. (I'd never done this before.) Limo picked us up at 10:45am at a central meeting spot (home of one of the couples going). White stretch limo that "seats 10". Indeed it does seat 10 but comfortably? Probably 8. It wasn't bad, a long C shaped bench of seats with glasses for wine (which we were encouraged to bring for ourselves) and a snack basket that was universally panned by all. The basket consisted of crackers and cookies and there was a "platter" of cubed meats and cheeses and a little bit of fruit. Luckily for us one of the people brought strawberries and we had bought some Fuji (best apples ever) apples and bananas. Let me tell you that it is a very odd thing indeed to be riding in a car with an open container of alcohol, and DRINKING IT. Our driver was quite sober and patient with a group that got progressively rowdier until on the way home the littlest one of the bunch finally lost it....out the back window...
I was at the opposite end so I had no idea what had happened until someone said that the driver of the car next to us was laughing his ass off while she stuck her head (and a bag that didn't hold out well) out the window. Ahhh yes. Winos R Us.
Still it was a lovely drive, great company and we came home with 2 great bottles of wine and I got a shirt that says "Grateful Red" on it from one of the places. (Am wearing it now actually, very comfy.) So my breakfast was the very healthy oatmeal with soy milk, honey and a banana. Lunch was cheese cubes, crackers, a sliver of melon and probably about a bottle of wine all together. (3 vineyards, between 5 and 8 tastes per place per person...) When we got home everyone was positive they were dying of hunger (and we were a bit hungry too) so after buying some activated charcoal for my little friend C who was still looking rather green (if you ever need help with nausea/vomiting/stomach issues of any kind go buy a bottle at your local grocery store, probably in the vitamin section. I keep some with me at all times. It cures hangovers too.) we ordered food to go from the mexican place down the street.
That's right, after almost 3 weeks of little to no cheese, NO rice and very low sodium I had a cheese enchilada with rice and beans and chips and salsa and a tsp of guacamole. It was fantastic. And by 9pm I was so tired that I went to bed. It literally made me feel like I'd been drugged. Between all the wine and the heavy food I was very sleepy.
So today the scale had not moved further which was to be expected but I FINALLY made myself move. It was nice enough to go outside and walk but I didn't go outside. Instead, after a brief flirtation with organization (that is an ongoing process with our newly combined household) I got the Wii Fit stuff out and I stepped on the board again. The last time I'd been on it (because it keeps track) was near the end of September. And between then and now I've lost 11 pounds!! So that made me happy. I am still NOT where I want to be but I am on my way.
I decided to go through the yoga moves today. The breathing one is great (you focus on breathing in and out through your nose and using your abdominal muscles, wherever they are, on exhaling) and there was the warrior pose, the greeting the sun pose and the tree. I did each of them twice through and on the greeting the sun pose there's one point where you are supposed to exhale and touch your toes. HAHAHAHAHAHA I can touch my toes if I'm sitting on my bed putting my socks on. NOT if I'm standing upright and reaching for them. But after the 2nd time through I was able to briefly get there. And I know that the more I do this the more flexible I will be. The focus today was on balance and working on the hips and thighs. I did 30 minutes and was/am very proud of myself. Ended it with the "dance" step and a short run. Felt/feel great and am planning to do it again tomorrow morning. This can be my start of a new habit. And I am positive it's the key to pushing the weight numbers back down again. Diet + Exercise = weight loss success.
Today I had oatmeal as usual and haven't been tempted to cheat again. (of course there isn't any cheese or bread to cheat with but still I was expecting some cravings after all the stuff I ate this weekend) I generally don't like Sunday afternoons because I start to think about going back to work and that gets me in a funk. But not today. And I'm quite sure that the exercise has everything to do with it.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Friday, March 4, 2011
Fondue
So, tonight we went to a restaurant for the first time since we've been on this diet. Mind you he's been going to a place called Sweet Tomatos for lunch every day during the week. (It's a salad bar buffet) But tonight it was one of our closest friend's birthday/going away dinner. We went to a German restaurant that is famous for (of course) beer and bratwurst and fondue. Do you know what fondue is? Cheese. :)
In the 1970s my parents got into the craze that was going around and we had a fondue pot. Broke crusty bread up and dipped it in the pot of warm, melted fabulous cheese. Cheese. My favorite cheating outlet.
Tonight I had searched the menu out online beforehand and planned out a spinach salad and lentil soup. When we got there they had a side dish of braised red cabbage that I had too. YUM. The first thing I noticed was how salty everything was. The lentil soup was really good and warm but it had loads of salt. And yes, I did try ONE square of bread with the sinful fondue. This too was salty to me. The salad had too much dressing so you couldn't enjoy the sliced strawberries and feta (yes, cheese). And here's the funny thing - a year ago I'd have eaten everything on my plate and gone for 1/2 of the fondue pot. Not this time. I do notice that I am craving something sweet right now and I'm wondering if this isn't a side effect of all that salt. They say that one of the many side effects of salt is that you crave sugar. Does not surprise me. Almost guarantees that the dinner will end with dessert. (We didn't get any, we had drinks.)
So for breakfast I had oatmeal with some soy milk and raisins and honey (YUM) and a banana. Then a snack of almonds and dates. For lunch I finished the rest of the big salad I made to go with dinner last night. Lettuce, beans, tomato, cucumber, onion, green olives, red pepper, vinaigrette, cashews and sunflower seeds. Yeah. THAT was lunch. And I wasn't hungry till about 4 when I had an apple.
Tomorrow should be interesting, we're going on a wine tour. "Lunch" is snacks in the limo (!!) which are....cheese and meats. HAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah I don't know that taking peanut butter and celery sticks is what they meant when they said bring snacks, but we are going to try. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
In the 1970s my parents got into the craze that was going around and we had a fondue pot. Broke crusty bread up and dipped it in the pot of warm, melted fabulous cheese. Cheese. My favorite cheating outlet.
Tonight I had searched the menu out online beforehand and planned out a spinach salad and lentil soup. When we got there they had a side dish of braised red cabbage that I had too. YUM. The first thing I noticed was how salty everything was. The lentil soup was really good and warm but it had loads of salt. And yes, I did try ONE square of bread with the sinful fondue. This too was salty to me. The salad had too much dressing so you couldn't enjoy the sliced strawberries and feta (yes, cheese). And here's the funny thing - a year ago I'd have eaten everything on my plate and gone for 1/2 of the fondue pot. Not this time. I do notice that I am craving something sweet right now and I'm wondering if this isn't a side effect of all that salt. They say that one of the many side effects of salt is that you crave sugar. Does not surprise me. Almost guarantees that the dinner will end with dessert. (We didn't get any, we had drinks.)
So for breakfast I had oatmeal with some soy milk and raisins and honey (YUM) and a banana. Then a snack of almonds and dates. For lunch I finished the rest of the big salad I made to go with dinner last night. Lettuce, beans, tomato, cucumber, onion, green olives, red pepper, vinaigrette, cashews and sunflower seeds. Yeah. THAT was lunch. And I wasn't hungry till about 4 when I had an apple.
Tomorrow should be interesting, we're going on a wine tour. "Lunch" is snacks in the limo (!!) which are....cheese and meats. HAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah I don't know that taking peanut butter and celery sticks is what they meant when they said bring snacks, but we are going to try. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Your Cheatin' Hearrrrrrrt
so, I've been home sick for 3 days now. First day I slept. Watched netflix on my laptop. And slept. Then yesterday I cleaned out the refrigerator and started in on my office. The fridge is where I've been going for my cheating addiction - cheese. Every few days I'd been sneaking a slice of cheese or two. And there was a bag of cinnamon Jolly Ranchers hidden in plain sight on the counter. Every day or so I'd take 1 before bed.
Yesterday I decided I need to un-sabotage myself. I threw out the cheese, candy and bread. And pretzels and chips.
And I survived.
The more I set myself up for success, by surrounding myself with other choices the better I'll do. And I know that I'm going to pass that minus 40 mark. Soon. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Yesterday I decided I need to un-sabotage myself. I threw out the cheese, candy and bread. And pretzels and chips.
And I survived.
The more I set myself up for success, by surrounding myself with other choices the better I'll do. And I know that I'm going to pass that minus 40 mark. Soon. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Monday, February 28, 2011
I got the blues - 2/28/11
Yeah, I was a total slug yesterday. Spent the entire day in my pajamas. Showered and put more PJs back on. I was tired and had no drive to do anything whatsoever. So I sat in my chair and watched Contact and did my taxes. Totally unmotivated to do anything. I did weigh myself and I am at minus 34 pounds now. 6 more to go to my latest goal. So, that's good! But I still found myself in the familiar territory of the blues. I used to live there, wallow really, but things are a lot different now and so I just visit from time to time.
Today I had my first cup of coffee in 2 weeks and I'm gonna just say this: yeah caffeine may be bad for us but it's also GOOD for me. I immediately felt better, more able to focus and happier. So, the diet book states that you should only have 1 cup of coffee per day if you MUST. And evidently I MUST. I'm ok with that. I can do it without sugar (maybe throw in some Equal? and some soy milk) but I will have 1 cup a day. And I'm ok with that.
Still staying well within my weight watchers points and to the diet. I can see a big help in the increase I've made of vegetables and fruit. And I can tell you that I will add limited carbs such as bread and some dairy (i.e. eggs and cheese) back after the 6 weeks of "strict adherence" but I think I can handle not adding salt or sugar and staying away from the other white stuffs that are so bad for us (starchy things like potatos - high glycemic index - white bread, mayo, oil, etc).
So evidently, for me, caffeine isn't just a stimulant, it's an antidepressant. And I'm not going to step away from that any time soon. Sorry health food people. Sometimes you just need a warm cup of fragrant coffee.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Today I had my first cup of coffee in 2 weeks and I'm gonna just say this: yeah caffeine may be bad for us but it's also GOOD for me. I immediately felt better, more able to focus and happier. So, the diet book states that you should only have 1 cup of coffee per day if you MUST. And evidently I MUST. I'm ok with that. I can do it without sugar (maybe throw in some Equal? and some soy milk) but I will have 1 cup a day. And I'm ok with that.
Still staying well within my weight watchers points and to the diet. I can see a big help in the increase I've made of vegetables and fruit. And I can tell you that I will add limited carbs such as bread and some dairy (i.e. eggs and cheese) back after the 6 weeks of "strict adherence" but I think I can handle not adding salt or sugar and staying away from the other white stuffs that are so bad for us (starchy things like potatos - high glycemic index - white bread, mayo, oil, etc).
So evidently, for me, caffeine isn't just a stimulant, it's an antidepressant. And I'm not going to step away from that any time soon. Sorry health food people. Sometimes you just need a warm cup of fragrant coffee.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Saturday, February 26, 2011
the weekend
So, yesterday was a killer day at work and I came home and drank a few drinks. It'd been a couple of weeks since I had anything to drink and 2 drinks and 1 shot did it. Otherwise I was good and stuck to my new dietary plans. We had game night and had home-made pho for dinner with cabbage (green) instead of noodles. I think that red cabbage might have been better but it was still good. And filling. And good for us. And for dessert we had apples and bananas cut up with little tiny dollops of natural peanut butter. We laughed because our friend that regularly comes over was here for game night and this was his first time over since we've been on this new diet. He didn't mind at all.
This morning we had tofu scramble with a veggie griller and onions in it and a bowl of oatmeal with apple and cinnamon with a little bit of honey. And we've been re-arranging and cleaning the house (points for exercise!) and it's big cleaning so everything will feel an loook better when we're done. It's quite cold outside so haven't ventured out but now I have to say that the new configuration in the living room does lend itself nicely to some early morning yoga....
Well, I'm hungry, gonna go make some beans and veggies.
Hope each of you is able to relax this weekend and eat something good for you. I guarantee you it'll make you feel better (especially if you put peanut butter on it). ;)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
This morning we had tofu scramble with a veggie griller and onions in it and a bowl of oatmeal with apple and cinnamon with a little bit of honey. And we've been re-arranging and cleaning the house (points for exercise!) and it's big cleaning so everything will feel an loook better when we're done. It's quite cold outside so haven't ventured out but now I have to say that the new configuration in the living room does lend itself nicely to some early morning yoga....
Well, I'm hungry, gonna go make some beans and veggies.
Hope each of you is able to relax this weekend and eat something good for you. I guarantee you it'll make you feel better (especially if you put peanut butter on it). ;)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Thursday, February 24, 2011
snow and cabbage
I love snow. I cannot overstate how much I love snow. It makes everything seem clean and tidy. I don't know how else to describe it. Peaceful.
It snowed today. The most it's snowed all year. That's not really saying much but still, it was there. It's all gone now but I loved every minute of it.
Because of the weather I focused on work and didn't take the time to go walk outside. Too bad really, I missed a nice walk I'm sure. Still making a new habit to move. I will make that habit. I WILL.
I ate good things today. All good things. And I feel good tonight. I had a banana and oatmeal (apple and cinnamon flavor from Medifast, not as good as the maple syrup flavor) and an apple. I usually get Fujis. They are crisp and flavorful. I can't stand the yellow or golden delicious, anything mushy = ick. I had a small handful of almonds, no salt, and 2 dates. My mom used to call them "nature's candy" and I didn't believe her. Lately I've been reminded that they sure are sweet and good.
Lunch was the rest of last night's dinner with some kidney beans thrown in. (Not my favorite beans but not bad.) Because of the snow this morning we car-pooled and I had less time to get ready so I didn't grab another snack but it was ok, one of the departments had a potluck breakfast and someone brought hard-boiled eggs. Yes it was supposed to be a dairy-free 6 weeks but I wanted them. And I ate them. Three of them. And they were good.
Tonight we had red cabbage, my new favorite ingredient. Sliced up with onions and tofu, with a tablespoon or 2 of balsamic vinaigrette. Sauteed. Served with fresh bean curd sprouts, some fresh basil, a squeeze of lime and Sri ra cha. Y U M. Y U M. Seriously yum. And filling. Kinda like Pho without the broth.
Dessert was an apple and a banana cut up with a dab of natural peanut butter. Seriously, we're beginning to feel like hippies!!! Actually I was brought up as a vegetarian but a lot of the veggie proteins are so full of sodium and preservatives that I'm pretty sure when I die you'll be able to find both Big Franks and Stripples somewhere in my stomach.
And I'm going to bed but not feeling like I've deprived myself. Now, if only I'd feel more like getting up at 5 or 5:30 to do some WiiYoga or something....
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
It snowed today. The most it's snowed all year. That's not really saying much but still, it was there. It's all gone now but I loved every minute of it.
Because of the weather I focused on work and didn't take the time to go walk outside. Too bad really, I missed a nice walk I'm sure. Still making a new habit to move. I will make that habit. I WILL.
I ate good things today. All good things. And I feel good tonight. I had a banana and oatmeal (apple and cinnamon flavor from Medifast, not as good as the maple syrup flavor) and an apple. I usually get Fujis. They are crisp and flavorful. I can't stand the yellow or golden delicious, anything mushy = ick. I had a small handful of almonds, no salt, and 2 dates. My mom used to call them "nature's candy" and I didn't believe her. Lately I've been reminded that they sure are sweet and good.
Lunch was the rest of last night's dinner with some kidney beans thrown in. (Not my favorite beans but not bad.) Because of the snow this morning we car-pooled and I had less time to get ready so I didn't grab another snack but it was ok, one of the departments had a potluck breakfast and someone brought hard-boiled eggs. Yes it was supposed to be a dairy-free 6 weeks but I wanted them. And I ate them. Three of them. And they were good.
Tonight we had red cabbage, my new favorite ingredient. Sliced up with onions and tofu, with a tablespoon or 2 of balsamic vinaigrette. Sauteed. Served with fresh bean curd sprouts, some fresh basil, a squeeze of lime and Sri ra cha. Y U M. Y U M. Seriously yum. And filling. Kinda like Pho without the broth.
Dessert was an apple and a banana cut up with a dab of natural peanut butter. Seriously, we're beginning to feel like hippies!!! Actually I was brought up as a vegetarian but a lot of the veggie proteins are so full of sodium and preservatives that I'm pretty sure when I die you'll be able to find both Big Franks and Stripples somewhere in my stomach.
And I'm going to bed but not feeling like I've deprived myself. Now, if only I'd feel more like getting up at 5 or 5:30 to do some WiiYoga or something....
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Steps
So today I made the time and went for a brisk walk in the brisk winter air. It was lovely and I only wish I'd taken the time to do it again. But hey, that was my goal and I did it. yay me! And I stepped on the scale again today...not tellin the number till weigh-in day but it moved again. I am ever-closer to that minus 40 that's my next goal.
The diet is getting easier to follow and I'm not sneaking any more cheese. (boy did my stomach punish me for that....how on earth did I ever eat cheese for so long??)
So today's menu was the banana and oatmeal (by the way, in the months that I didn't really blog on here I'd fallen back into a bad habit of going to McDonald's for breakfast on the way to work. I would get a sausage mcmuffin without the sausage - vegetarian - and an oatmeal. That racked up the points.) anyway, so yeah, my lemon ginger (caffeine free, still no coffee in over a week and no headache) tea.
Lunch was left-overs from last night's yummy stir fry of veggies and tofu plus a can of low-salt black beans, can of corn (which I regretted when I entered the points...that's a bit of starch) and 1/2 block of tofu. I am getting to LOVE tofu. Yes it's bland. But it can taste like pretty much anything. And it's filling. I don't feel deprived when I eat it in stuff. So I took all this stuff with some of my Sriracha hot sauce and nuked it into a warm soupy filling thing and then had an apple for dessert.
I took a Smartwater bottle that we had here (empty) and filled it with cold water and downed 1 litre of good water and had a cucumber and an orange (no salt for the cuke, just the Mrs. Dash substitute) for a snack mid-afternoon.
Dinner tonight was sooooooooo good. (I don't cook, I clean - let's be honest here) so we had steamed cauliflower (I had to put some of the Sriracha on it, I really had to....that stuff just cries out for cheese!) and the only thing that I haven't liked so far were the collard greens. blech. Maybe they need to be cut up or something but he just put them in to steam in a steamer and then we were to eat them. I found mine to be too chewy and well, a bit like grass I guess. So if any of you out there have a great collard greens recipe - send it on over!! Anyway, the main dish and the reason my mouth is still watering: 1 mango, chopped up; 1 tomato, chopped up; 1/2 (or less) yellow onion; handful of green onions; 1block of firm tofu, chopped; 1 can of low-salt (because we can't find no salt and I'm ok with that) black beans, drained; and 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar. Put into a bit fry pan or wok and cook until bubbly and hot. No extra sauces. Not even any garlic or ginger tonight. And it was so good!! There was enough that I have a container for lunch tomorrow. Mmmm. Dessert was an apple with no-salt added peanut butter (Adams, crunchy). And yeah I feel full but I know that it's all been good for me! (ok except for the oil in that peanut butter but I wasn't in the mood to grind our own)
Yup, if you are at all interested in eating vegetarian foods and are a creative cook (or live with one) I highly recommend this Eat to Live diet. This is week 2 and I do not feel like I'm depriving myself.
Tomorrow's goal? Take that 2nd walk. It's "supposed to snow" so we'll see. I would love a walk in the snow!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
The diet is getting easier to follow and I'm not sneaking any more cheese. (boy did my stomach punish me for that....how on earth did I ever eat cheese for so long??)
So today's menu was the banana and oatmeal (by the way, in the months that I didn't really blog on here I'd fallen back into a bad habit of going to McDonald's for breakfast on the way to work. I would get a sausage mcmuffin without the sausage - vegetarian - and an oatmeal. That racked up the points.) anyway, so yeah, my lemon ginger (caffeine free, still no coffee in over a week and no headache) tea.
Lunch was left-overs from last night's yummy stir fry of veggies and tofu plus a can of low-salt black beans, can of corn (which I regretted when I entered the points...that's a bit of starch) and 1/2 block of tofu. I am getting to LOVE tofu. Yes it's bland. But it can taste like pretty much anything. And it's filling. I don't feel deprived when I eat it in stuff. So I took all this stuff with some of my Sriracha hot sauce and nuked it into a warm soupy filling thing and then had an apple for dessert.
I took a Smartwater bottle that we had here (empty) and filled it with cold water and downed 1 litre of good water and had a cucumber and an orange (no salt for the cuke, just the Mrs. Dash substitute) for a snack mid-afternoon.
Dinner tonight was sooooooooo good. (I don't cook, I clean - let's be honest here) so we had steamed cauliflower (I had to put some of the Sriracha on it, I really had to....that stuff just cries out for cheese!) and the only thing that I haven't liked so far were the collard greens. blech. Maybe they need to be cut up or something but he just put them in to steam in a steamer and then we were to eat them. I found mine to be too chewy and well, a bit like grass I guess. So if any of you out there have a great collard greens recipe - send it on over!! Anyway, the main dish and the reason my mouth is still watering: 1 mango, chopped up; 1 tomato, chopped up; 1/2 (or less) yellow onion; handful of green onions; 1block of firm tofu, chopped; 1 can of low-salt (because we can't find no salt and I'm ok with that) black beans, drained; and 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar. Put into a bit fry pan or wok and cook until bubbly and hot. No extra sauces. Not even any garlic or ginger tonight. And it was so good!! There was enough that I have a container for lunch tomorrow. Mmmm. Dessert was an apple with no-salt added peanut butter (Adams, crunchy). And yeah I feel full but I know that it's all been good for me! (ok except for the oil in that peanut butter but I wasn't in the mood to grind our own)
Yup, if you are at all interested in eating vegetarian foods and are a creative cook (or live with one) I highly recommend this Eat to Live diet. This is week 2 and I do not feel like I'm depriving myself.
Tomorrow's goal? Take that 2nd walk. It's "supposed to snow" so we'll see. I would love a walk in the snow!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Me and a Mouse
Today I couldn't help myself gave in and ate 3 slices of swiss cheese. They were soooooooo good. But now my tummy tells me "you ate something that isn't good" and I am finding that I'm not able to eat cheese like I used to. Of course that's a good thing given how much cheese I used to eat. But I missed it's creamy, tasty goodness. Not as much as I'm happy to see that scale moving tho...
So, tonight we had a fantastic stirfry (still only using water and just the liquids from the veggies) of eggplant, mushrooms, onion, basil, garlic, tofu and canned tomatos. Put some Sri Ra Cha (which has some sodium in it but not very much) on it and ate that right up. And along with my now standard fare of banana & oatmeal, apple, orange, baby carrots, black beans and left-overs from last night (Pho and steamed broccoli) I'm still under for my daily points.
What continues to be my problem is getting up and moving. Work can take so much focus away from taking time out for me. I HAVE to get up and walk twice a day. I get 2 breaks and a lunch and I almost always sit at my desk (or go to the bathroom) for them....SAD. I will make that my focus. That and continuing the veggies. Cheese may get a taste every week or so but no more daily snarfing of many different kinds of fabulous cheese.
Sunday is weigh-in day. I'm hoping for more progress.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
So, tonight we had a fantastic stirfry (still only using water and just the liquids from the veggies) of eggplant, mushrooms, onion, basil, garlic, tofu and canned tomatos. Put some Sri Ra Cha (which has some sodium in it but not very much) on it and ate that right up. And along with my now standard fare of banana & oatmeal, apple, orange, baby carrots, black beans and left-overs from last night (Pho and steamed broccoli) I'm still under for my daily points.
What continues to be my problem is getting up and moving. Work can take so much focus away from taking time out for me. I HAVE to get up and walk twice a day. I get 2 breaks and a lunch and I almost always sit at my desk (or go to the bathroom) for them....SAD. I will make that my focus. That and continuing the veggies. Cheese may get a taste every week or so but no more daily snarfing of many different kinds of fabulous cheese.
Sunday is weigh-in day. I'm hoping for more progress.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Week 2 veggies - 2/21/11
well, I'm certainly a creature of habit so I've gotten a ritual started - banana with medifast oatmeal (very thin oatmeal, not as filling as actual oats but still good, an orange, a fuji apple, a can of black beans with no-salt seasoning with some veggie or avocado, herbal tea, baby carrots and at night I get a big hot meal. Tonight we had the pho that he's been making without broth (yes it's bland, but if you put the sri ra cha hot sauce on it it's great) just water, green onions, tofu, mushrooms, cilantro, basil, and the gluten-free noodles (warning: the packaging they come in is the nastiest smelling stuff EVER, but if you drain it out and wash the noodles they are great). And we steamed broccoli with lemon juice and some generic Mrs. Dash. (And I sprayed some I Can't Believe it's not Butter on mine)
I will tell you I want a grilled cheese sandwich right now. But that's probably because the comedian we're watching just said grilled cheese. Mmmm. Yeah but I still did it. And I will keep doing it. Because I know this stuff is good for me. They say to do 6 weeks of this and then start looking at adding a few of the other things back in, but only in small amounts.
Now I need to get my ass out of bed when he leaves for work at 5:30am and come to the livingroom and try that yoga stuff.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
I will tell you I want a grilled cheese sandwich right now. But that's probably because the comedian we're watching just said grilled cheese. Mmmm. Yeah but I still did it. And I will keep doing it. Because I know this stuff is good for me. They say to do 6 weeks of this and then start looking at adding a few of the other things back in, but only in small amounts.
Now I need to get my ass out of bed when he leaves for work at 5:30am and come to the livingroom and try that yoga stuff.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Sunday, February 20, 2011
veggies, the down-side
so, I'm down 32 pounds. :) That's a new number. Yay for that!!
Now let's talk about this diet we've been on for a week now. I haven't had any caffeine, no coffee or anything for an ENTIRE week. This, from a coffee lover since college. And if I did have the headache it would have been on the night my cat died and I was already feeling like crap so I just let it go. We've been eating plant based foods and beans and fruit, basically a very vegetarian diet for a week and if I do say so we did a helluvajob for just going cold turkey at this. A week ago I was all about bread for sandwiches and cheese for cheese. But this last week I had 2 pieces of bread the whole week and zero cheese until today. Every day I had fruit and oatmeal for breakfast and beans and some sort of vegetables for lunch. Dinner was usually a big salad (and I mean BIG) and some sort of veggies and tofu.
The downsides of this diet aren't too many, we both feel quite good after a week of this. Things smell better when you're not using salt of any kind and trying to find low to no-salt foods to eat. You get the real tastes of the foods this way. However I scared the crud out of the new hubby on Friday morning when I woke up at 1:30am with a horrendous leg cramp that lasted at least 2 minutes! The next day my lower back started to really hurt me and so on Saturday we went and bought some vitamins and now in addition to my multi-vitamin I am taking a calcium pill and a vitamin D pill. Both things that I probably got at least some in all that cheese I was used to consuming.
The other downside? There's just no nice way to put it - you can call it gas, flatus, flatulence but it's a fart. And I'm sorry but I do NOT understand why food that is supposedly so great for us would cause our bodies to expel these noxious vapors. I'm telling you that where it not for the magical pill called Beano (as in "take Beano and there'll be no gas". No I am not making that up.) we would be single-handedly responsible for depleting the ozone layer around our house. Good LORD. OK, TMI. I know but I'm sharing this with you so that if you too decide to join this very good-for-you diet regime you will please, for the love of all of those that must sit near you, go to the store and stock up on these things. Calcium and Vitamin D help fend off those horrible Charlie horses that seem to come always in the middle of the night (and cause mild heart-attacks in those that are trying to sleep nearby) and Beano. Well Beano does it's job.
So, today we decided that we were hungry enough that we'd try to eat something that was decidedly NOT on our newly espoused diet. Papa Murphy's veggie gourmet delight thin crust pizza. We usually get one of these (not the thin crust) once or twice a month. And I can tell you that while it was still really cheesy and good, it still didn't taste and feel as great as the home-made Pho' that we had first. (no broth, just the fresh ingredients) For dessert we took some frozen berries that I'd bought oh about a YEAR ago to make smoothies out of and added silken tofu and put them in my new Magic Bullet blender system with some freshly squeezed orange juice and made yummy shakes. I know it sounds kinda like we're turning into hippies. But we both want to be healthy and honestly? I haven't been hungry or really craved anything except for cheese and that pizza tonight was too heavy for me (and it was very thin).
And that's where we stand about 6 months in, I'm down 32 pounds and trying new stuff. I'll always be taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Now let's talk about this diet we've been on for a week now. I haven't had any caffeine, no coffee or anything for an ENTIRE week. This, from a coffee lover since college. And if I did have the headache it would have been on the night my cat died and I was already feeling like crap so I just let it go. We've been eating plant based foods and beans and fruit, basically a very vegetarian diet for a week and if I do say so we did a helluvajob for just going cold turkey at this. A week ago I was all about bread for sandwiches and cheese for cheese. But this last week I had 2 pieces of bread the whole week and zero cheese until today. Every day I had fruit and oatmeal for breakfast and beans and some sort of vegetables for lunch. Dinner was usually a big salad (and I mean BIG) and some sort of veggies and tofu.
The downsides of this diet aren't too many, we both feel quite good after a week of this. Things smell better when you're not using salt of any kind and trying to find low to no-salt foods to eat. You get the real tastes of the foods this way. However I scared the crud out of the new hubby on Friday morning when I woke up at 1:30am with a horrendous leg cramp that lasted at least 2 minutes! The next day my lower back started to really hurt me and so on Saturday we went and bought some vitamins and now in addition to my multi-vitamin I am taking a calcium pill and a vitamin D pill. Both things that I probably got at least some in all that cheese I was used to consuming.
The other downside? There's just no nice way to put it - you can call it gas, flatus, flatulence but it's a fart. And I'm sorry but I do NOT understand why food that is supposedly so great for us would cause our bodies to expel these noxious vapors. I'm telling you that where it not for the magical pill called Beano (as in "take Beano and there'll be no gas". No I am not making that up.) we would be single-handedly responsible for depleting the ozone layer around our house. Good LORD. OK, TMI. I know but I'm sharing this with you so that if you too decide to join this very good-for-you diet regime you will please, for the love of all of those that must sit near you, go to the store and stock up on these things. Calcium and Vitamin D help fend off those horrible Charlie horses that seem to come always in the middle of the night (and cause mild heart-attacks in those that are trying to sleep nearby) and Beano. Well Beano does it's job.
So, today we decided that we were hungry enough that we'd try to eat something that was decidedly NOT on our newly espoused diet. Papa Murphy's veggie gourmet delight thin crust pizza. We usually get one of these (not the thin crust) once or twice a month. And I can tell you that while it was still really cheesy and good, it still didn't taste and feel as great as the home-made Pho' that we had first. (no broth, just the fresh ingredients) For dessert we took some frozen berries that I'd bought oh about a YEAR ago to make smoothies out of and added silken tofu and put them in my new Magic Bullet blender system with some freshly squeezed orange juice and made yummy shakes. I know it sounds kinda like we're turning into hippies. But we both want to be healthy and honestly? I haven't been hungry or really craved anything except for cheese and that pizza tonight was too heavy for me (and it was very thin).
And that's where we stand about 6 months in, I'm down 32 pounds and trying new stuff. I'll always be taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Loss
Ok, this will be a post that covers both positive and painful things. I'm not even sure I'll be able to get through the painful part but I'll try.
On Tuesday, the day after Valentine's Day I had to put my cat to sleep. I had her since she was 8 weeks old and when she died she was nearly 13. It was one of the most singularly painful experiences I've ever had. 6 years ago I had to put my other cat, then 13, to sleep and I didn't know what to expect. It was awful. This time I knew and it was worse. I know it was the right thing to do but even now my eyes fill with tears and my stomach clenches at the thought. And there is a part of that day I wish never to revisit. Ever. I came home afterwards and I grieved, from the bottom of my soul and the tips of my toes I keened (look it up) for her. And the taste in my mouth changed for some weird reason (I have a couple of theories but no clue, it was really odd and disgusting) and I couldn't eat. I needed to. I was dehydrated and hadn't eaten much all day but I couldn't even eat more than a bite of toast. The only thing I did manage to eat was a cinnamon jolly rancher. (odd, I know) And then later I started to send it all back up. Yup. My body flat out purged itself from the pain and everything in it. I say now that true love holds you when you cry and holds the bucket when you puke. I'll never do that again. And I'll miss her forever.
And on Sunday before all this started my cousins were visiting and told us about a diet they've been on called "Eat to Live" (which in a hysterically funny nod to Dr Freud I accidentally called the "Live to Eat" diet on accident) which basically fits right into weightwatchers. I had gained back 10 pounds, actually more like 11 since December and I was very disgusted. So with the new change (see paradigm shift post) we decided to try this diet. It's a plant based mainly vegetarian diet. And I've been on it since Monday (bought the book Sunday and shopped that night) and it hasn't been hard.....and I'm back to where I was - down 30.5 pounds. Lost all the stuff I'd gained.
Basically it's a "eat stuff that's good for you" diet. Novel concept. I know. So like today I had a banana, some of the medifast oatmeal (the only medifast stuff I can handle anymore) an apple, an orange, some baby carrots, some almonds, some dates (yes, they look like bugs but they are SO YUMMY) a can of black beans with a sweet red pepper. And tonight we had cabbage and cucumber salad with lemon juice (which a week ago you'd have had to hold me down to even try much less gobble up) and stir fry with mushrooms, red pepper, ginger, tofu marinated in balsamic, onions and avocado. I haven't had caffeine since either Saturday or Sunday (not sure which) and if I had the headache it was lost in the grief of Tuesday night. I've been drinking caffeine free lemon-ginger tea and lots of water.
And I haven't tried it again since Reilly (my cat) but I did get out the yoga tape last week. I'm also planning to go with one of my best friends to the gym. That'll probably start in March (see: budget and trying to pay down big bills so we can go explore the world) but it's going to happen.
I woke up the morning that I turned 40 with a thought in my head that said "this year you will say 'yes' to new experiences". And I've been going through some incredible changes in the short time since that day. And I'm back to where I was in the weight-loss journey (in a good way). Some loss is good. Some hurts like hell. Either way I'm going to keep saying yes and taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
On Tuesday, the day after Valentine's Day I had to put my cat to sleep. I had her since she was 8 weeks old and when she died she was nearly 13. It was one of the most singularly painful experiences I've ever had. 6 years ago I had to put my other cat, then 13, to sleep and I didn't know what to expect. It was awful. This time I knew and it was worse. I know it was the right thing to do but even now my eyes fill with tears and my stomach clenches at the thought. And there is a part of that day I wish never to revisit. Ever. I came home afterwards and I grieved, from the bottom of my soul and the tips of my toes I keened (look it up) for her. And the taste in my mouth changed for some weird reason (I have a couple of theories but no clue, it was really odd and disgusting) and I couldn't eat. I needed to. I was dehydrated and hadn't eaten much all day but I couldn't even eat more than a bite of toast. The only thing I did manage to eat was a cinnamon jolly rancher. (odd, I know) And then later I started to send it all back up. Yup. My body flat out purged itself from the pain and everything in it. I say now that true love holds you when you cry and holds the bucket when you puke. I'll never do that again. And I'll miss her forever.
And on Sunday before all this started my cousins were visiting and told us about a diet they've been on called "Eat to Live" (which in a hysterically funny nod to Dr Freud I accidentally called the "Live to Eat" diet on accident) which basically fits right into weightwatchers. I had gained back 10 pounds, actually more like 11 since December and I was very disgusted. So with the new change (see paradigm shift post) we decided to try this diet. It's a plant based mainly vegetarian diet. And I've been on it since Monday (bought the book Sunday and shopped that night) and it hasn't been hard.....and I'm back to where I was - down 30.5 pounds. Lost all the stuff I'd gained.
Basically it's a "eat stuff that's good for you" diet. Novel concept. I know. So like today I had a banana, some of the medifast oatmeal (the only medifast stuff I can handle anymore) an apple, an orange, some baby carrots, some almonds, some dates (yes, they look like bugs but they are SO YUMMY) a can of black beans with a sweet red pepper. And tonight we had cabbage and cucumber salad with lemon juice (which a week ago you'd have had to hold me down to even try much less gobble up) and stir fry with mushrooms, red pepper, ginger, tofu marinated in balsamic, onions and avocado. I haven't had caffeine since either Saturday or Sunday (not sure which) and if I had the headache it was lost in the grief of Tuesday night. I've been drinking caffeine free lemon-ginger tea and lots of water.
And I haven't tried it again since Reilly (my cat) but I did get out the yoga tape last week. I'm also planning to go with one of my best friends to the gym. That'll probably start in March (see: budget and trying to pay down big bills so we can go explore the world) but it's going to happen.
I woke up the morning that I turned 40 with a thought in my head that said "this year you will say 'yes' to new experiences". And I've been going through some incredible changes in the short time since that day. And I'm back to where I was in the weight-loss journey (in a good way). Some loss is good. Some hurts like hell. Either way I'm going to keep saying yes and taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Paradigm Shift 2.0
ok campers are you ready for the post about how my life changed? And I'm not talking a shift of say 15 degrees or so, we're talking significant - 90 degree turn here. And it's not just that I'm 40 now, as of a week now. No, it's bigger than anything so far - as much as I will ever be or ever want to be I am....married.
Yup you read it right. I went on vacation the day after my 40th birthday, after having a fanTASTIC party with friends and family and dancing (who knows how many calories I burned but I was SORE for days and it was so much fun). It was beautiful. It was the reception I would have asked for had I gotten married and been traditional. Instead I went on a vacation with my roommate (yup, he's The One) and our best friend and on the 2nd day something amazing happened. The details would take too long to enter here but we experienced a sense of love, complete and overwhelming and the vows we said there with our friend as witness were as lasting as I ever need. For the rest of forever.
Coming home was odd, since we already live together. Everything was the same, the cats were happy we were home, but everything is different. Will take some adjusting, but guess what I did this morning? (no, not THAT you dirty-minded people, that's personal) We walked up heart attack hill. No passing out or anything, went straight on to Starbucks and walked home again. I'm not the only one on this journey anymore and he is supporting (not pushing, that's a B.I.G. difference) me. I am back on track.
And life is fanFREAKINGtastic!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Yup you read it right. I went on vacation the day after my 40th birthday, after having a fanTASTIC party with friends and family and dancing (who knows how many calories I burned but I was SORE for days and it was so much fun). It was beautiful. It was the reception I would have asked for had I gotten married and been traditional. Instead I went on a vacation with my roommate (yup, he's The One) and our best friend and on the 2nd day something amazing happened. The details would take too long to enter here but we experienced a sense of love, complete and overwhelming and the vows we said there with our friend as witness were as lasting as I ever need. For the rest of forever.
Coming home was odd, since we already live together. Everything was the same, the cats were happy we were home, but everything is different. Will take some adjusting, but guess what I did this morning? (no, not THAT you dirty-minded people, that's personal) We walked up heart attack hill. No passing out or anything, went straight on to Starbucks and walked home again. I'm not the only one on this journey anymore and he is supporting (not pushing, that's a B.I.G. difference) me. I am back on track.
And life is fanFREAKINGtastic!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
January 25 - focus forward
So I am going to be 40 on Saturday and have not done a damn thing to keep track of my eating and exercise at all in the last 2 weeks. Honestly I've been focused on getting ready for a birthday party and vacation. I stood on the scale yesterday and said some words I'll not post here.
Yeah, I know exactly what I need to do and I'm not doing it. I'm using every single excuse in my head to not do what I need to do - drink more water, move more and repeat. The thing is I'm not doing terribly bad with what I'm eating (ok, cheesy fries from Jack in the Box? HORRIBLE for you but I wanted them after spending 3 hours trying to find my ITunes playlist that I'm using Saturday night and disappeared magically from my laptop after an "upgrade".....). But I know the combo that works.
And I only have me to look at to get back in the getting in shape zone.
So I promise me and you that I'm going to log my foods online tomorrow. And I'm going to do at least, LEAST 10 min of moving/exercise. And I'll meet you back here tomorrow night to tell you how it goes.
Did I mention tomorrow's my last day of work for a whole entire week??!!! Yeah. Good things.
One Day. One Step. One Pound at a Time.
~N
Yeah, I know exactly what I need to do and I'm not doing it. I'm using every single excuse in my head to not do what I need to do - drink more water, move more and repeat. The thing is I'm not doing terribly bad with what I'm eating (ok, cheesy fries from Jack in the Box? HORRIBLE for you but I wanted them after spending 3 hours trying to find my ITunes playlist that I'm using Saturday night and disappeared magically from my laptop after an "upgrade".....). But I know the combo that works.
And I only have me to look at to get back in the getting in shape zone.
So I promise me and you that I'm going to log my foods online tomorrow. And I'm going to do at least, LEAST 10 min of moving/exercise. And I'll meet you back here tomorrow night to tell you how it goes.
Did I mention tomorrow's my last day of work for a whole entire week??!!! Yeah. Good things.
One Day. One Step. One Pound at a Time.
~N
Friday, January 14, 2011
1/14/11 - FRIDAY
Oh Friday you have never felt better. Actually last week was so bad that even Friday night sucked for me, and that's not at all normal. However this week I was able to find balance and got stuff done AND worked on my healthy plan.
I have decided to give the Medifast products 2 more weeks and a lot more spice pick-me-ups. And if I find I just can't stand it I'm moving on. Today I went to a deli just down the street from work and bought a big salad and a half veggie-sandwich. I am hooked on McDonald's oatmeal and fruit. Warm goodness. Not a big bowl. (I haven't a clue how many points it is so I suppose I should figure it out) and since I've been sick for MONTHS now I'm having OJ every day. I am also currently going thru a sugar-free Red Bull every day, just to keep awake. Yes, I know, the response to that is usually "GROSS" but lemme tell you - the ad doesn't say "it gives you wings" for nothin'....
I have not followed through on the nightly tradition/habit of exercising. Think it's probably because I'm waiting for the roommate to start it first. But I have to be the one to do it. So tomorrow I'm going on a walk. Ok, it's going to be at the mall and it's for stuff for my birthday and mini-vacation, but it will still be a walk and I shall make it count. ;)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
I have decided to give the Medifast products 2 more weeks and a lot more spice pick-me-ups. And if I find I just can't stand it I'm moving on. Today I went to a deli just down the street from work and bought a big salad and a half veggie-sandwich. I am hooked on McDonald's oatmeal and fruit. Warm goodness. Not a big bowl. (I haven't a clue how many points it is so I suppose I should figure it out) and since I've been sick for MONTHS now I'm having OJ every day. I am also currently going thru a sugar-free Red Bull every day, just to keep awake. Yes, I know, the response to that is usually "GROSS" but lemme tell you - the ad doesn't say "it gives you wings" for nothin'....
I have not followed through on the nightly tradition/habit of exercising. Think it's probably because I'm waiting for the roommate to start it first. But I have to be the one to do it. So tomorrow I'm going on a walk. Ok, it's going to be at the mall and it's for stuff for my birthday and mini-vacation, but it will still be a walk and I shall make it count. ;)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Thursday, January 13, 2011
1/13/11 - carpeting
Anyone that has known me for a moderate amount of time knows that I have a personal motto: Carpe Diem. Sometimes I jokingly say "carpet the den". It is a latin phrase that means (loosely translated by me) sieze now. Sieze this moment. Sieze today. I first heard this when I watched the movie Dead Poet's Society a looooooooooong time ago. And it just stuck with me. The power of now. The importance of paying attention to what's right in front of you. To BE here NOW. (not focused on something else)
Well, a week ago there was a horrible shooting by a mentally ill man, killed 6 people at a meeting at a grocery store. Unfortunately the debate that came out of this horrible thing was not so much "how can we help it so this kind of thing doesn't happen again? how can we be more careful with people" but finger pointing and instant politicization. It is just how things are done in this country now, maybe it's how they have always been done (see immediate responses following 9/11 and Oklahoma City) but it just seems sad that something as truly inane as politics gets in the way of humanity. People died and a young man who is very much in need of care, serious and psychiatric care has obviously never gotten any.
I don't talk politics anymore, this may be the most you'll see ever on here. Too divisive. And I appreciate that I do not have the same views as many of my friends. I just don't see the point in arguing. It's like arguing over what kind of toilet paper to use, and in my opinion deals with just about the same stuff.
So why am I talking about it here? Because 2 days ago a friend of mine from work, a nurse named Stephanie who has worked at my hospital for over 30 years (she's only 55) had a stroke after leaving work. I'm not clear on exactly what happened but her mom found her in her car. And she's in the hospital and has what's called aphasia. My friend Jess who reads this blog from exotic points around the globe will know exactly what that is. Basically what's going on with Steph is that she knows what words she wants to say but she can't make herself say them. Yeah. Think about that for a minute. When someone asks you if you want cream and sugar in your coffee and you go to say "yes please" instead you say "crackers paperclip" or something equally as strange. Basic communication. And she may not be able to come back to work. Ever.
Just like that. In an instant. I walked by her on my way out the door on Tuesday night. Clocking out. Smiled. Just like always.
One of the things I said in my first post on here was that one of the reasons I want to get healthy is because I know that being obese/overweight puts you at risk for cardiac disease and stroke. Steph is short and round. And it's likely the combo of stress at work and the round part that made this possible.
I'm still working on trying to find a way to eat good food at work (dear GOD that Medifast stuff isn't doing it for me.....) but I am at least getting up and moving more.
Because I want to live.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Well, a week ago there was a horrible shooting by a mentally ill man, killed 6 people at a meeting at a grocery store. Unfortunately the debate that came out of this horrible thing was not so much "how can we help it so this kind of thing doesn't happen again? how can we be more careful with people" but finger pointing and instant politicization. It is just how things are done in this country now, maybe it's how they have always been done (see immediate responses following 9/11 and Oklahoma City) but it just seems sad that something as truly inane as politics gets in the way of humanity. People died and a young man who is very much in need of care, serious and psychiatric care has obviously never gotten any.
I don't talk politics anymore, this may be the most you'll see ever on here. Too divisive. And I appreciate that I do not have the same views as many of my friends. I just don't see the point in arguing. It's like arguing over what kind of toilet paper to use, and in my opinion deals with just about the same stuff.
So why am I talking about it here? Because 2 days ago a friend of mine from work, a nurse named Stephanie who has worked at my hospital for over 30 years (she's only 55) had a stroke after leaving work. I'm not clear on exactly what happened but her mom found her in her car. And she's in the hospital and has what's called aphasia. My friend Jess who reads this blog from exotic points around the globe will know exactly what that is. Basically what's going on with Steph is that she knows what words she wants to say but she can't make herself say them. Yeah. Think about that for a minute. When someone asks you if you want cream and sugar in your coffee and you go to say "yes please" instead you say "crackers paperclip" or something equally as strange. Basic communication. And she may not be able to come back to work. Ever.
Just like that. In an instant. I walked by her on my way out the door on Tuesday night. Clocking out. Smiled. Just like always.
One of the things I said in my first post on here was that one of the reasons I want to get healthy is because I know that being obese/overweight puts you at risk for cardiac disease and stroke. Steph is short and round. And it's likely the combo of stress at work and the round part that made this possible.
I'm still working on trying to find a way to eat good food at work (dear GOD that Medifast stuff isn't doing it for me.....) but I am at least getting up and moving more.
Because I want to live.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
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