*poof*

Wow.  So this last week was full of lots of family fun, with birthdays for my dad and nephew and yesterday's Father's Day and birthday party for the 9 year old.  Too many carbs to count and my body was already repenting for this when I got a message last night from the husband of a very dear friend.  And I called him.  And the entire concept of eating, much less smiling was gone in one short sentence.

Charlene died on Friday.  Charlene was my friend, 42 yrs old and now she is gone.  She and I met right out of college, we were both therapists at a community mental health clinic and quickly realized that we were meant to be friends.  Sarcasm?  Check.  Laughter?  Check.  And uncanny knack for finding fantastic shopping deals at bargain basement prices?  Double check.  Charlene was one of 2 people that heavily influenced my thought processes when it comes to decorating your space (the other is the friend that inspired me to start this blog, M) and she was (just like M) OCD to the extent that I - being the pain in the ass that I am - would delight in tormenting her.  I would regularly delight in telling her, as I was leaving her house in Boise that was decorated like something out of Pottery Barn or Pier 1, "I moved something in your kitchen" and skip out the door as she yelled bad words at me and went to go re-organize.

She was taller than I am, nearly 6' and rail thin.  She could eat.  A LOT.  And never gain weight.  For which I called her "bitch".  Many a weekend was spent going to Home Depot to pick out stuff, or look at stuff to buy later to make her little house into a gorgeous place.  She was an ex-Mormon and answered my questions about the "magical underwear" and other things that I wanted to know.  She drank gallons of Diet Coke in what she lovingly called "beveragezilla" - a 72 oz red tub that sat between us in her old white Ford Taurus while we listened to the soundtrack for Rent (which to this day I have not seen but I know by heart).  We used to greet each other with the phrase "rice and beans and.....cheese" (from the musical) and she had a raunchy fantastic sense of humor.

Charlene knew me when I was in the depths of my depression.  Days when I would not get out of bed until she would show up (she had a key) and stand in my doorway and say "get your ASS out of bed".  She knew what to say and what not to say.  In 2001 she was packing for a conference in Seattle and I sat on the bed while she (perfectly) packed all of her things.  I said "don't forget the lingerie!"  She had broken up with her boyfriend in the last year (a lawyer, and a jerk) and she looked at me down that long beautiful nose of her's and said "what the hell for?!"  I said "you never know..." So she packed it.  And went to the conference.  And was in an elevator in the hotel where the conference was being held when they had the earthquake.  The other person in the elevator was a therapist that worked for the VA and they were married 18 months later.  I was a bridesmaid in her wedding - something I do not ever do.  I wore a dress and everything.  And after making a (not a little bit drunk) toast at her reception we wandered out to the bar.  Me in my navy blue dress, made by her mother (still a Mormon, it was the opposite of revealing, and HOT, not in a good way) and Charlene in her beautiful white wedding dress.  We sat on bar stools and toasted to the future.  And to getting what you want.

Life kept us busy in our own areas - she in Colorado Springs for a while, and then eventually to New Mexico.  And me here in the Northwest, rebuilding my life.  About 2 years ago I realized I hadn't talked to her in at least 2 years and I wasn't at all sure where she lived anymore and didn't have her latest email address.  So I went on a Google search and cold-mailed her at the last address I found.  2 weeks later I got the first of many emails and just over a month ago we got to see each other face to face when she was here for a conference with her husband.

She had chronic pain and at this early stage of the investigation (she was found last night, her husband had been out of town for work - so they always do an investigation) it appears that she had an adverse reaction to her pain medications.  I am still processing this whole thing.  I am incredibly sad and heart-sick over the loss of such an amazing person.  So full of life.  And gone in an instant.  In a phone call that, even as I was dialing I knew would change things forever.

You will hear this from me on many occasions dear reader, because I believe it to be of paramount importance, do not waste time or put off telling the people in your life that you love them.   You simply never know when you won't get another chance.

One day.  One step. One pound at a time.
~N