OUCH

Wow, so first of all let me tell you WW people out there - they changed their points calculations for the first time in 13 years.  It's called the Points Plus program and here's what the Weight Watchers website has to say about it:

"The story of the new PointsPlus program really begins four years ago. Karen Miller-Kovach and her team were looking at the pool of research on how calories from protein, carbs, fiber, and fat provide satisfaction and are processed by the body. Based on that data, Weight Watchers developed what became the PointsPlus program. The program was thoroughly tested in scientifically supervised trials — at various locations including Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC) — starting in 2007."

There are new calculations - based on fat, carbohydrates, protein and fiber.  (They do not count calories on this).  And new daily and weekly point totals....HIGHER totals.  All fruit and most vegetables are zero points.  There is now a section called "Power Foods" which is not the same as filling foods.  Basically these help you to feel more satisfied/full (and thus not want to keep eating and eating) and lose weight.  (most fruits and vegetables are on a list that they have on the site - if you would like a copy of the Power Foods list just let me know and I'll see about emailing it to you)

This just started this week and so I'm getting used to the new system.  It looks like the main focus is to eat lots of foods on the Power Foods list and follow some Good Health Guidelines:

Fruits and Veggies: 5 servings a day
Milk Products: 2 servings a day
Liquids: 6 glasses per day of non-alcoholic beverages (key word is NON) including milk, juice, seltzer, diet sodas, coffee and tea.  The best choice is water.
Lean Protein: 1-2 servings per day of cooked meat, fish or poultry, each within 2 to 3 oz.  For us veggies the following count as 1oz each:  1 egg, 1/2 cup cooked dry beans
Whole grains: "choose whenever possible"
Limit sugar and alcohol: this has been a bad spot for me....and where I will explain the title of today's blog  - women should have no more than 1 alcoholic drink per day and 2 per men. - yeah....here is the reason I am still at the 30 pound mark...I have NOT been good with this.  On the week days I have been having a drink at night but the last several weekends have been benders for me....and I mean benders as in bending the elbow at bars.  This coming weekend is no exception.  So I am deciding right now that the nightly drinks must stop if I know I'm going out.  Because I have 15 more pounds to lose by the end of the year.  And dammit I won't let alcohol stop me.
Healthy Oils:  olive, sunflower, flaxseed, safflower, canola. - 2 teaspoons per day.  Nursing moms need 3.
Multivitamin:  1 per day
Activity: At least 30 minutes a day on most days of the week.  Starting with 10 per day if you are sedentary now.


Today I went to a local restaurant that I haven't been to in a long time.  And I got a veggie burger.  And a salad.  And tonight I came home and entered the points values after looking them up online at burgerville.com and OH.MY.GOD.  Seriously.  EIGHTEEN POINTS for that burger?!  I wanted to vomit right then and there......but that's how easy it is, just one sandwich and you're at 18 points.  That is how I got where I was.  The salad was 7 points.  And totally good.  7 points I can live with.  18 I cannot.  And will not.

Then I came home and my awesome roommate made me this fantastic dinner of ravioli and garlic bread and my favorite drink - a bourbon furnace.  So let's just say that had I not had my lunch today I might not have been where I am with the daily points....which is to say WAAAAAAAAAY over.

Tomorrow I get up out of my chair at work and I walk for 10 min.  5 minutes 1 way and 5 minutes back.  And then we'll try for it again the next day.  I am not giving up.

It's still one day.  One pound.  One step at a time.

~N

Holidaze

so wow, I have not been on here in almost 2 weeks!!  Not to worry.  I haven't gone carb crazy and eaten the fridge.  I did have a big Thanksgiving meal, but I also planned it ahead of time and did not go over the points (including weekly that is).  Sheesh it's hard to keep up on this blog when it's this time of year. 

So, first of all this is the first weekend in almost a month that I haven't had anyone visiting.  I LOVE visits.  Especially when I get to have them one-on-one and enjoy each person in a more candid situation.  And then we've had pre-winter weather here.  It even SNOWED here - I LOVE snow.  LOVE it so much.  It didn't stay but it has been cold enough that I have not been out walking.  And therein lies my current hurdle to clambour over.....moving.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I make a really good imitation of a couch potato.  Because my couch is comfortable and it's warm inside my house and well, because generally I'd rather be lazy than move.  But I also would rather be fit than fat.  So, I must put the Wii front and center in my living room and make time for it every day.  I've been getting to work earlier than usual (which is easy since the time changed but still it's dark) and my chiropractor appointments have slowed to a more reasonable 1-2 times a week so that I'm not completely exhausted when I get back home.  So it's up to me to figure out some movement every day.  And do that for 15 minutes.  That's not long.  It's probably just a tiny bit more than I spend writing this blog and it's significantly less time than I spend on the computer.  THAT would be interesting - a computer that is entirely powered by the movement of the operator.  Keep moving and you can play on facebook.  Stop moving and *poof* no connectivity.  Hmmmmm.  Must explore that thought more fully.

Meantime I do have a couple of personal victories to recount:  1.  I wore a belt to work for the first time in I have NO idea how long.  I have a pair of pants that I like and couldn't wear anymore because who wants to be that person at the office who is in danger of walking around in their underwear whenever they stand up??? (and if you answered yes to that question - seek help).  So yay me for that.  And 2.  I am now 3 sizes smaller than I was when I started this journey in August.  :)   And this means that I have to buy a new dressy dress for my birthday in January and it will be in my new size.  (Because the dressy dress that I have now is 2 sizes too big!!!)

So, this week I will focus on just that little move.  That choice to move.  The one step at a time portion of my mantra on this blog.  Because as I have said before - nobody else is going to lose the weight for me.  If they were I'd have picked someone like Jerry Rice, 'cause he's fast!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  This year I am thankful for this blog and for you dear readers.  I trust you each had a safe and happy time with people that you love.  (We will talk about people that spend holidays with relatives they don't actually like on another blog.)

Remember:  it's always One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
(but first get off the couch)
~N

Week 16 Tuesday - gutting it out

My tummy hurts.  Not sure why exactly but I woke up early (before 6) with a stomach ache.  Almost felt like I'd had too much of a pain medicine.  And I believe I've covered the food as pain control part of my coping mechanism and today was a combo of pain control and anger control...yes, work related anger control.

I will say that I handled my work frustrations better, I did eat a calzone for lunch....whopping 12 points on that baby.  And I am out of points now, but I am ok with that.  And I was able to deal with the thorny office politics issues (and by deal I mean kick some ass and do it so well that they say thank you when I'm done) and come home and sink into my slippers and fuzzy robe. 


Watched Biggest Loser tonight and was once again inspired by the way that extreme exercise can sculpt people.  Elizabeth lost 8 pounds in a week....and is below 200 now.  She's the one that was asthmatic at the beginning and had to be taken by ambulance when trying to get on the show.  And here I sit on my couch.....

The only thing stopping me from getting my ass in gear and LOSING my ass more quickly than I am is me.  So, let's see what I choose to do with myself.....

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 16 - Weigh-in day - comfort and joy

Back on track - 31.5 pounds down (meaning I lost 2.5 pounds) and that's after eating pizza last night and making sounds while eating it that should probably not be made in polite company.  Papa Murphy's vegetarian pizza has never been so good!


The week went by so fast and the weekend was great and action-packed.  This is the 2nd of 3 weekends this month that I am lucky to have one of my very best friends visiting us here and I soaked up the conversation, companionship and fun.  Probably a good thing that I was the designated driver, saved me on points and got me back on track.

My work has an incentive for the employees, basically a response to rising health care costs, that has inspired my roommate to focus on getting healthy and is helping me focus on my own journey.  Basically what they are doing is doubling the cost of our health care as of the first of the year.  But if you choose to get a health screening (they take your blood to test your cholesterol, weigh you and measure you and tell you what your numbers are and try to get you to focus on being healthy) you will not have your costs go up.  This year.  And so this next week I'm going to have a meeting with someone who will tell me I'm obese and tell me their numbers.  And it will be helpful in that it might give me numbers I don't know (I don't know my cholesterol off the top of my head, but I know it's high) the only reason I'm doing it is to save money.

Yes, the information should help people that have not started to be aware of their own health.  Absolutely.  However, me knowing my numbers isn't going to shame me into being healthier.  I am opposed in fact to that way of training.  Completely opposed.  I know it works for some groups of people, but it does not work for this person.  The changes that I want to and will make in my life will be because I WANT to be different.  And because I choose to be better.  Not because I'm ashamed of my numbers.  (ok, maybe shame for how big my ass is might be part of it, but not a major factor)

My roommate took his test last week and came home and decided to focus more on being healthy.  This helps my cause because, well because this way there's 2 of us in on the project.  Even if we each have a separate end-goal.

Today it's cold and foggy and I had a bowl of warm oatmeal with peaches, apples and banana.  This plus coffee is comfort food for me and makes me happy.  And after stepping on the scale this morning I am encouraged and even more determined.  Just a little over 2 months from now I will be 40.  And I would really like to have lost at least 20 more pounds by then.  And I know I can.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 15 - TCN

So, yeah, I've been tracking my foods but NOT blogging.  The week has gotten away from me and here I am at Thursday.  I have had a great week.  I've been helping some friends work through some pretty intense personal stuff, life-changing stuff and it's impossible to not be affected by things like this, even when it's not your life. 

About a year ago my roommate and I were having our annual discussion about the holidays.  He hates them. He thinks the decorations, the big deal made about them on tv and for promotions and money is disgusting and calls Christmas "forced-giving".   I LOVE them.  I get caught up in the nostalgia.  Decorate.  Put on the music that you really can only stand once a year.  I sit in the dark with the lights on the tree and listen to music, write out cards.  I even bake.  And yet I see his point.  The reason behind the celebrations is, or was, about something more and it's been buried under the latest half-off sales

And last year we were talking about the reasons these days were set aside (besides the commercialization and money-making).  The things we celebrate during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's - at Thanksgiving we give thanks for the things that we have.  We're a little less likely to be upset about the things we don't have and a little more grateful for what we actually have.  At Christmas we give gifts.  Sometimes these are gifts we have made and sometimes we buy them.  People are more generous with others at Christmas.  On New Year's Day (if they're not hung-over) people re-evaluate and re-set for the new year.  Set new goals.  Re-commit ourselves to the things that are truly important to us.

So, the question was - why don't we live every day like it's all 3 of these days?  Being thankful for what we do have, giving to others and re-committing to our goals.  I think it's a really good idea.  And I'm writing this post to remind myself of it's value, and to share with you what I think is a good idea. 

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 15 - not the worst Monday ever

Something about this time of year - oh yeah that's it - I got to SLEEP IN and still be early to work today!!!  I love the time change.  I just work better on this time.  Like right now?  The daylight savings time would be midnight.  But it's 11.  :)  Yes, this is much more my time.

Had a decent day at work.   Busy.  Have a semi-big presentation on Wednesday that I'm mostly dreading.  (it's the kind of presentation where you tell the people in charge what you actually do - because they have no idea) And I should have worked on it tonight when I got home but I am still working on getting rid of stuff in my room and then I sat on the couch going through old magazines (if you work with me look out for a huge influx of Newsweeks soon) and watching a documentary about death and what happens to the body during the process.  Yeah, sounds ghoulish huh?  It was fascinating. 

Anyway, then instead of working on my presentation I watched some crap tv and texted with one of my best friends.  I am really good at procrastination (you do not get to feel guilty about my not working on my presentation by the way, I would much rather text than work so stop it now you know who you are) and yeah so tomorrow I'll be working on it.  The big boss said to keep it simple....so I'll do that.  Pretty sure what they are going to be looking at is the way my time is divided between the 5 departments and the fact that 1 department hogs all my time.  And frankly that 1 department should be paying for 90% of my time and 2 others split the remaining 10.  I will have no problem answering that. 

Got another job prospect today.  Stayed under my daily points goal and am nearly done with the room renovation (for now, still have 1 more book shelf to buy at Ikea).  Life feels more in control right now.  And it was a change in head-set, a good night's sleep, and good choices in eating.

Speaking of which - 2 of you that read this regularly are going to miss out on our annual work luncheon at the good Mexican restaurant tomorrow.  Guess where I'm headed before I go to sleep? That restaurant's menu for some points planning.

Today I drank more water than I have, did not drink caffeine (and still only have a smidge of a headache!) had 2 smart ones - 1 for breakfast (love the english muffins) and 1 for lunch (the rigatoni with vodka cream sauce, cause it's good and I like saying that I had vodka at work, hee hee) some cheezits (because evidently salt is what I want right now), one of those yummy Jello Dulce du Leche cups and then for a snack at home I made some tacos - 1 point per little corn tortilla and added about 1/2 tbsp of veggie burger and a tbsp of shredded cheese.  Popped those suckers in the microwave and enjoyed them.  Later on the roommate made me some Pho and since that's a known quantity (7.5 points for a HUGE bowl of soup with tofu, sprouts, noodles etc) I was able to stay under points.

Now I gotta go check out that menu for tomorrow....cause this could get interesting....

Stay tuned.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

week 15 - weigh-in day and the short view

I got a CT scan this week. Of my head.  Well, of my sinuses actually.  See, its now been 3 months since I started to think I had allergies, then got sick and finally ended up not being able to sleep lying down.  Have had 2 rounds of antibiotics with no change and the doctor said after the first round that if I was not better after the second round I'd get to have the CT.  The cool, super-cool thing about my cat scan?  I got a dvd of it.  For free.  And now I have a picture of my actual skull.  What I look like underneath all this other stuff.  Me.  The part of me that'll still be here after I'm dead and gone.  Yeah, I know that might be a bit maudlin and strange to you but to me it's super cool.  (Plus now I want a copy of my back x-ray cause if you put the 2 together you have almost the entire skeleton of me!)

What I started thinking about while looking at all the different images of my head (no, I don't appear to have any tumors but I'm sure my doc will tell me the results tomorrow) was the basic things that make me ME.  When you get down to it you are made of skin and bones and muscle etc.  and what goes over that (or in the case of fat, under the skin) is up to me.  I did not pick which bones, what type of density, how long etc.  But  I do get to pick what goes over that.

This leads to this week's confession.  I am at minus 29 pounds.  Yup.  Gained back.  And I know why. As my friend Janice pointed out (correctly too I might add) when I don't blog I'm likely to have not been logging my food journal and not have met my goal of losing more pounds.  This last week was just like the previous 2 or 3.  Busy.  And I have noticed another correlation with me - when I feel stressed and overwhelmed I am less likely to be focused and efficient.  My room has been in a state of shambles for a bit now and I finally got some new furniture that I'd planned to get that will help with some of the shambles.  (I kept saying I would get rid of clothes but never did and was perpetually moving a pile of clothes from the bed to the floor and back again, with no room for them in the closet or in the 1 dresser I had - now I have 3) I have also been planning a big get together in January for my birthday and the finances of that have been weighing heavily on my head. 

I don't think I've said this on here but my finances and my food intake are very closely related.  When I find that I haven't logged my food intake or blogged on here it's highly likely that I will find I have not been paying close attention to my budget and bills.  When I was depressed these were key indicators for me - I'd get a bill in the mail.  Feel overwhelmed at the concept of paying it and so just not even open it, rather stack it in the corner somewhere and "deal with it later".  I have long since set up a budget and generally do not go over that, in fact put money into savings (a-la Dave Ramsey program to get out of debt).  But in the last month I have noticed that along with not logging my food, along with not actually DOING any exercise or real physical activity, I have not been adhering to my budget and found myself at the very last limit of the bank account prior to this last pay check. 

I think that this is all probably locked into my concern for the change in jobs, my not feeling well for 3 months and compounded with the pain from the car accident I was just in a pity mode - and what I do when I feel like that is go to a comfort source...usually food, combined with buying something and spending money on something I should not spend money on. 

This brings me to today's weigh-in.  I am back to being minus 29 pounds and that irritates me because I was so proud of being 31 pounds down.  And then I started to look at the mess in my room and the mess in my physical life and mess in my financial life (all of which are seriously not the worst thing ever but if I ignore them they will spiral into a big problem...thus the nip in the bud NOW) and realized that this comes back to me feeling out of control in areas of my life that I really have complete control over.  I am 100% in control of what and how much I eat, of how much I move/exercise, of how clean my room is, of how much money I spend and on what.  I just need to remind myself that I can get all of these things in line with what it is that I want for me.  And that means putting perspective on it. 

I have a tendency to forget that there's a short view and a long view....  The short view is this:  I weigh more than I want to, but less than I did.  I have a messy room, but I'm getting it organized again.  I want a new job, but I don't have one yet.  I have a big thing I want to do but it will take saving money that I can't spend on other things now to enjoy it later.  The long view is:  me being 100 pounds less than where I started from, me having a party and a big trip in my future, me getting rid of things I no longer use or wear and having a bedroom that is organized and inviting and peaceful.  And me working for myself as a therapist.  In order to get to that long view I have to keep the short view in what I have recently described to one of my best friends as "laser focus".  I cannot get to that long view any other way than through meeting the goals set in the short view.  I totally WANT to push a button and get to the long view.  But that is not realistic.  So I have to do the work.

That being said, I had the first of what will be a total of 3 peppermint mochas from Starbucks today.  10 points and completely worth it.  I LOVE them.  And I charted it.  And now I'm going to go back into my room and continue to create order from chaos, and at the end of the afternoon I will sit down at the computer in my room (which is completely buried now) and pay bills.  This brings me to my mantra.....remembering to take it...

One day.  One pound.  One step (and one goal) at a time.
~N

Week 14 day 2 - the insanity! the madness!

In case you've been lucky enough to live away from the news it can be no guess to you as to what today is in America.  Today is the final day of a season of money (outrageous amounts I might add) spent to elect a new congress.  Elections in America are always ... special.  A slice.  I am always glad when they are done.

So today we finally get to have tv without the mud slinging.  And soon enough the internet and everyone can go back to getting along and having different opinions.  I don't need the angst and craziness.  I get enough  of that at my work!

There, I feel better.  So, I was good today.  Except I didnt record my food on the weight watchers website.  But I did record it in a file and will put it in probably tomorrow morning.  I was good.  Back to the same old same old - some smart ones, soup and cheezits, snack pack and soup and sandwich at home.  Unfortunately I had a big project at work that got me stressed out and not paying attention to how I was sitting and moving and so by the time I got to the chiropractor I had some sort of pinched nerve in my shoulder.  Super painful.  The chiropractor helped but it's still not fixed now.  Will be headed to bed with some pain killers.

Ahh getting old.  It's not as neat as you'd think.

So yeah,  that's my random post for today.  I hope you all survived the day wherever you are.  Jessica, if you're reading this on your trip across and around the world - I ENVY you!!!

One Day.  One Pound.  One Step at a Time.
~N

Week 14 - wait, week thirteen ends on Halloween?? Nice

So, I've been busy again.  No potlucks or anything.  Did have a party on Saturday night.  The hostess is renowned for cupcakes.  Baking.  Decorating.  Whatever you want to eat that's sweet and yummy Michele can do it.  She's making my cake for my 40th birthday party.  LEMON baby.  Lemon.  :)

Yeah, so we had a party and thankfully most if not all of the food there was small, bite sized and basically good for you.  The jello shots and drinks (appletinis and my current favorite - oatmeal cookies) not so much.  But boy were they good.  And I only had 1 cupcake.  :)  This made the 2nd or 3rd year my roommate and I have dressed up and gone to parties on Halloween.  I love the excuse to dress up.  It's super fun.

Now, some out there might be a bit averse to the holiday itself.  And I can understand that.  I did not really know much about the holiday when I was growing up.  Just that it was supposed to be about the devil.  Now I've had some time to do some historical research and yes there are for sure people out there that want to make it about that, and yes it does have to do with the concept of being in touch with dead people.  BUT that's not the only thing it's about.

It was traditionally called Samhain and was a day to honor the dead.  Not unlike our modern day memorial day.  Just more....Celtic.  It was part of the 4 parts of the year that were closely related to harvest times and was traditionally a time to stock up for the coming winter.  It got folded into the Catholic tradition of All Saint's Day and has devolved into a night that makes dentists drool in anticipation.  Ok, maybe that part's my imagination but seriously - do you even remember how much candy you ate at Halloween when you were a kid?  We didn't have a specific trick or treat outing till I was in 8th grade (and we moved away from a more conservative place to the *gasp* liberal Phoenix, AZ) but we still had what we called Harvest Parties.  (Which, looking at the history and tradition are really still directly related to the original "pagan" holidays.)  And we still ate a LOT of candy.  To this day I cannot eat candy corn because my best friend in the 5th grade, Carla, brought a bag of it to a slumber party and we ate the entire thing.  And Reese's Pieces.  Can't eat them either. 

This year on Halloween I had a bowl of home-made Pho, a caramel apple and 2 peanut butter cups.  And they were awesome.  :)  Tonight the roommate made more harvest stew and I'm tellin you it's so good!!!  If you are a weight watchers person you can probably look up the recipe online, I put it on there.

So, I'm getting ready for bed, logged my food for the day and I still have 8 points to go!!  That's good because I didn't lose anything last week.  I know it's because I didn't exercise.  That part is easily identified.  What is not as easily done?  Either getting up in the morning and doing the Wii or a walk in the dark and rain (or sleeping in......) or doing something after work.  I think a 3rd option is probably better...walking once during the day.  I'm more likely to actually take a lunch break that way anyway.

OK, well, I'm off to sleep now.  Just wanted to check in.  I'm still takin' it

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N