I did it. I quit my old job, a place that was dysfunctional and toxic and full of people that I will miss because I saw them and worked closely with them for 11 years (that's almost an entire elementary and high school term). And as soon as I gave notice I felt a weight fall off me. I'm working at a place where I can work on my clinical license and that means that someday I can have my own clinic. And that is something I've wanted to do for a long time.
I've been trying to do better with the gym, went last week 3 times for 30 min and tonight did 35 min, the legs hurt but I'll keep going.
Another thing I've noticed is that I sleep better, and I'm getting up EARLY. Seriously, this morning it was 4am....but I went back to sleep till 6:30. Still, I'm up and ready for work and AT work by 8am. That's a significant change.
It's all about making decisions, following through and sticking with them. If I can walk away from benefits earned after 11 years but at a job I really didn't like after all and go work with people that are REALLY happy to have me, I can keep up the changes in my diet and exercise.
It's a change in me that is coming from the inside out. It's affecting my hubby and it's a very good thing. I'm still right at 27 pounds down but as soon as I make the Medifast a daily habit (and skip Subway or Starbucks) I'll keep going down the numbers.
And if I can do it? ANYONE can.
One day. One (big) step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, October 8, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
The Few, The Proud
Today marks the end of 9 weeks of working with 5 other women through the Marianne Williamson Weight Loss book that we've come to call "Boot Camp". Thinking about the things I've learned over the last 9 weeks with these amazing women it's easy to see that we started out our classes with a veneer of "oh yeah I'm here to lose weight but that's about it, nothing else I need to work on" and by week 3 as they say "shit got real". It is impossible to do work on yourself, lasting work, work on things that will change you from the inside out, without it being hard. Without going to places that you'd really rather not go thank you very much.
But in this class we did. And I'm honestly not done with the book, I've read 10 out of 21 chapters (not consecutive chapters) and I know that there is more work to do. But I also know that I have been changed in a meaningful way by my experience in this class and by working with these other women. It takes not a small amount of courage and strength to strip away one's defensive side and go deep to look at how you think about yourself, how you've trained yourself to act/eat/believe, and to challenge things that you may have not known were deeply ingrained in you.
So, I started this class with the idea that I wanted to be able to change my relationship with food. So that I can be successful in my goal towards being healthy. What I'm ending this class with is a lot more than that. I am indeed more mindful now of what I eat, I have done quite a bit of work on letting emotions like anger and sadness go and not run my eating schedule. I have done a lot to look at how I have been comfortable in my eating habits that led to me being unhealthy, and why I felt I needed that comfort. In the end, it's still going to be me remembering to treat myself kindly and not go into reaction mode when I get stressed or angry (I discovered there's an inner teen inside me that likes to take over and eat "whatever the F I want" when I feel angry or stressed.) and that in changing how I think I am changing how I deal with food. I'm looking at it as fuel, appreciating it, but not relying on it as a drug to keep me happy or calm me down.
And I've started cooking my own healthy meals - a huge first for me because I've always said I'm not a cook. And I'm still not going to run out and try to cook for huge groups of people but I don't cringe anymore when I think about cooking meals for myself. And I don't make ramen or go for fast food - which was my stand-by. I still get coffee and I still go out to eat, but the things I choose to eat are things that I'm not going to regret later.
It's been a good 9 weeks. Some serious stuff came up that I didn't expect, and I feel a great burden gone where a lot of anger/hurt was. Now, to take what I've learned/discovered, and continue on my path of keeping active (I do still enjoy the gym but haven't been going as regularly as I'd like) and eating good foods (Medifast and lots of fresh veggies seems to be my key).
So tonight I'll say farewell and congratulations to my new friends from the class, knowing that we are all working on our stuff and that we have new tools and newly discovered strength to keep going and make good choices that honor the women that we are. That's a big deal, not buying into the idea that I'm a bad person because I look a certain way, or because I make mistakes. Nope, just a person. On a path. And I will keep going.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
But in this class we did. And I'm honestly not done with the book, I've read 10 out of 21 chapters (not consecutive chapters) and I know that there is more work to do. But I also know that I have been changed in a meaningful way by my experience in this class and by working with these other women. It takes not a small amount of courage and strength to strip away one's defensive side and go deep to look at how you think about yourself, how you've trained yourself to act/eat/believe, and to challenge things that you may have not known were deeply ingrained in you.
So, I started this class with the idea that I wanted to be able to change my relationship with food. So that I can be successful in my goal towards being healthy. What I'm ending this class with is a lot more than that. I am indeed more mindful now of what I eat, I have done quite a bit of work on letting emotions like anger and sadness go and not run my eating schedule. I have done a lot to look at how I have been comfortable in my eating habits that led to me being unhealthy, and why I felt I needed that comfort. In the end, it's still going to be me remembering to treat myself kindly and not go into reaction mode when I get stressed or angry (I discovered there's an inner teen inside me that likes to take over and eat "whatever the F I want" when I feel angry or stressed.) and that in changing how I think I am changing how I deal with food. I'm looking at it as fuel, appreciating it, but not relying on it as a drug to keep me happy or calm me down.
And I've started cooking my own healthy meals - a huge first for me because I've always said I'm not a cook. And I'm still not going to run out and try to cook for huge groups of people but I don't cringe anymore when I think about cooking meals for myself. And I don't make ramen or go for fast food - which was my stand-by. I still get coffee and I still go out to eat, but the things I choose to eat are things that I'm not going to regret later.
It's been a good 9 weeks. Some serious stuff came up that I didn't expect, and I feel a great burden gone where a lot of anger/hurt was. Now, to take what I've learned/discovered, and continue on my path of keeping active (I do still enjoy the gym but haven't been going as regularly as I'd like) and eating good foods (Medifast and lots of fresh veggies seems to be my key).
So tonight I'll say farewell and congratulations to my new friends from the class, knowing that we are all working on our stuff and that we have new tools and newly discovered strength to keep going and make good choices that honor the women that we are. That's a big deal, not buying into the idea that I'm a bad person because I look a certain way, or because I make mistakes. Nope, just a person. On a path. And I will keep going.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Monday, July 16, 2012
On Becoming
So, we're up to 45 min sessions at the gym now. And by "we" I mean me. Goal is 3 times a week and I'm back into a rhythm so I will be able to make that happen quite easily. Funny how when you make something a priority it happens.
Today I tried an old favorite and found that it doesn't "do it" for me anymore. I got a hankering for Thai food. Probably because a friend at work mentioned it and I thought "ooh, I could have salad rolls" and then when I got the menu from him I saw "hot basil fried rice" and knew it wasn't going to just be salad rolls. The thing is, I can't really eat rice anymore. I mean I CAN but did you ever see Willy Wonka? Or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? When Violet eats the blueberry candy and blows up into a gigantic blue bubble? Yeah, that's what rice does to me. I'm quite convinced that it's a combination of gluten and dairy that does me in. Today there was no dairy but there was rice. And yeah. Can't do it. If I had stuck to my original idea - salad rolls with tofu - I would have been just fine and would have stayed in my lean and green meal for Medifast too.
So I came home, changed and went and worked it out on the treadmill. This time the "wall" that I usually hit at minute 25 moved to 30. :) Of course it also showed up at minute 12, but I kept going.
I am becoming a different person in many ways. The class that I'm taking is helping encourage me to let go of negative thought processes. We had a very powerful meeting this last week. The exercise was to write about the emotional "bricks" or blocks to success. The emotions that keep us from being successful. The things we relate to when it comes to not being healthy. And my biggest brick was anger. I think it will probably take me a while to completely get rid of it, because I hadn't acknowledged that it was there and it was MUCH bigger than I had anticipated. But I let go of some things on Sunday that I had been holding onto for a long time. And when you let yourself let go of things like that you open the door to letting go of the physical weight too.
It's not an easy process. It is work. But a great friend recently reminded me that nothing that's worth it is ever easy. So, I'm going to keep going. And it feels like I have a momentum building. Like I am building the momentum. ME. That's a change.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Today I tried an old favorite and found that it doesn't "do it" for me anymore. I got a hankering for Thai food. Probably because a friend at work mentioned it and I thought "ooh, I could have salad rolls" and then when I got the menu from him I saw "hot basil fried rice" and knew it wasn't going to just be salad rolls. The thing is, I can't really eat rice anymore. I mean I CAN but did you ever see Willy Wonka? Or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? When Violet eats the blueberry candy and blows up into a gigantic blue bubble? Yeah, that's what rice does to me. I'm quite convinced that it's a combination of gluten and dairy that does me in. Today there was no dairy but there was rice. And yeah. Can't do it. If I had stuck to my original idea - salad rolls with tofu - I would have been just fine and would have stayed in my lean and green meal for Medifast too.
So I came home, changed and went and worked it out on the treadmill. This time the "wall" that I usually hit at minute 25 moved to 30. :) Of course it also showed up at minute 12, but I kept going.
I am becoming a different person in many ways. The class that I'm taking is helping encourage me to let go of negative thought processes. We had a very powerful meeting this last week. The exercise was to write about the emotional "bricks" or blocks to success. The emotions that keep us from being successful. The things we relate to when it comes to not being healthy. And my biggest brick was anger. I think it will probably take me a while to completely get rid of it, because I hadn't acknowledged that it was there and it was MUCH bigger than I had anticipated. But I let go of some things on Sunday that I had been holding onto for a long time. And when you let yourself let go of things like that you open the door to letting go of the physical weight too.
It's not an easy process. It is work. But a great friend recently reminded me that nothing that's worth it is ever easy. So, I'm going to keep going. And it feels like I have a momentum building. Like I am building the momentum. ME. That's a change.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Thursday, July 5, 2012
That Funny Feeling
So, when did I start going to the gym? Cinco de Mayo. And I haven't gone as consistently since a week or 2 ago. But today I actually caught myself ENJOYING the time on the treadmill. I think it was at minute 15 (about 10 min before I hit the wall that waits at 25 when I want to lie down). And I'll have to see what music it was on the playlist but I looked down at the time and said "oh hey wow that went fast". And I was alone with my thoughts with just my feet pounding to the beat and nonsense on the bank of tvs in front of me.
So that was 2 months ago, when I joined up, and that meme that I found said it would probably take 12 weeks to see a difference. :) 4 more weeks to go. And I'm still not looking at the scales. At least until I'm done with my class.
Yup, this is working.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
So that was 2 months ago, when I joined up, and that meme that I found said it would probably take 12 weeks to see a difference. :) 4 more weeks to go. And I'm still not looking at the scales. At least until I'm done with my class.
Yup, this is working.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Independence Day
Went back to the gym yesterday. Everything was going well until minute 25 on the treadmill at 3.5mph. And then I wanted to stop. But I kept going for another 10 minutes. Yay me!
Today is kinda weird because it's a holiday but we work tomorrow and the holiday will include a lot of noise that will keep me awake tonight. So I slept in this morning and finally feel like I'm getting rid of this chest cold.
This year we had hot dogs (or tofu dogs for me) and some bbq veggies for our big dinner. It's been interesting keeping myself mindful of what I'm eating, taking responsibility for that spoonful of baked beans and spoonful of cole slaw. And remembering that just because I can drink it doesn't mean it's not high calorie. Today I didn't go to the gym but I played my work-out music (much to the horror of hubby who is NOT a fan of my music) and danced around the living room. That got the heart racing. And it was fun. :0
Been thinking about the reason behind today's celebrations - Independence Day. And what that can mean for me. Freedom from bad choices. Freedom from old tapes in my head that say I'm a failure and other nasty things. Freedom from the belief that I won't actually make the changes I need to. And freedom/independence from the state of ill-health I've been calling life for a while now.
Happy Independence Day dear readers. May you find freedom from all that holds you back.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Today is kinda weird because it's a holiday but we work tomorrow and the holiday will include a lot of noise that will keep me awake tonight. So I slept in this morning and finally feel like I'm getting rid of this chest cold.
This year we had hot dogs (or tofu dogs for me) and some bbq veggies for our big dinner. It's been interesting keeping myself mindful of what I'm eating, taking responsibility for that spoonful of baked beans and spoonful of cole slaw. And remembering that just because I can drink it doesn't mean it's not high calorie. Today I didn't go to the gym but I played my work-out music (much to the horror of hubby who is NOT a fan of my music) and danced around the living room. That got the heart racing. And it was fun. :0
Been thinking about the reason behind today's celebrations - Independence Day. And what that can mean for me. Freedom from bad choices. Freedom from old tapes in my head that say I'm a failure and other nasty things. Freedom from the belief that I won't actually make the changes I need to. And freedom/independence from the state of ill-health I've been calling life for a while now.
Happy Independence Day dear readers. May you find freedom from all that holds you back.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, July 2, 2012
Busy Weeks, Deep Work
So, I'm still here. Just UBER busy. On the 19th I had the amazing privilege of attending the birth of my niece. I was there when her 2 big brothers were born and all 3 times I have more and more respect for their momma. WOW. Anyway, so we welcomed the new, precious little baby and then I got sick. REALLY sick. Like missing work sick. And that meant no gym. I think it's been 2 weeks now since I went to the gym. Coughing and wheezing on everyone else and giving them my germs would not be cool.
But I also have been doing work in that class I mentioned. Hmm. How to describe it....? Well some people call it Boot Camp. It's meant to be taken as seriously as you want, and I figure if I'm paying money to buy the book and do the work with the 5 other people in the class I'll take it seriously. It's pushed my buttons for sure already. Making me really look into things and question - do you REALLY believe that? Yeah, and why?
One of my favorite things about the class, besides the fact that I'm not on my own and the other women there all have something I can relate to in their struggle with weight loss, is that we do what I guess you can call art therapy. It's also called Soul Collage. Basically you have some images to pick from, you put them together on a card, glue them on and then look into your heart of hearts and see what you come up with. There is more to it but that's the beginning of it and I really find that I'm able to express some stuff with that where I may not normally go in my head.
I hit a realization this last week that seemed so completely basic and obvious that I literally started out my writing about it with "how did I not see this before?". I was reading about and asking myself about self-sabotage. It's based on the question posed in the book that ask you to see what it is about being unhealthy and over-weight that you see (unconsciously) as good for you. A question that I bristled against and argued with for a week or so until this last week when I put it into words - I had created a person in my body, this big and out of the shape I want to be body, that would be un-loveable and thus not subject to rejection because I was not even allowing myself to be loved, much less rejected. And the thing is, I know I was loved. And I got married in the middle of this whole thing. To a man who loves me. He loved me when I didn't love me. And that was a realization that was a big deal. Don't get me wrong, I knew he loved me. What I didn't realize or allow myself to see was that I had created my most un-loveable self. To avoid rejection.
That was a big deal to realize. I don't know about y'all but I am not a fan of rejection. Be it in the form of the loss of a job Or a parent leaving. Or the one you love not loving you back. Not a fan. And to realize and recognize in myself the unconscious creation of someone I would not love so that I would not be rejected?? HUGE. And now to really love myself. In all stages of this. Letting love take over helps let go of the anger and hurt that's been there for a long time.
So, we had a big meeting here at home tonight (big future plans and decisions being made) and I didn't go to the gym. I put my gym clothes on tho. :) And tomorrow I will go after work. I have committed to not stepping on the scale for the 9 weeks in this class. So that I'm focused not so much on the numbers but more on the inner stuff. I've discovered that it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm still doing my Medifast during the day and eating veggie stuff at night. But instead of looking at that number on the scale to praise myself or punish myself, I'm trying to focus on the loving myself aspect of this. Because that is a big deal.
The book is not for everyone and I don't recommend it if you're not ready to really look at yourself and the reasons you eat or have weight issues. And if you are not necessarily into spirituality it may grate a bit, but I am personally finding that this book: A Course in Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson
http://www.amazon.com/Course-Weight-Loss-Spiritual-Surrendering/dp/1401921531/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341289327&sr=8-1&keywords=a+course+in+weight+loss+by+marianne+williamson
to be helpful in my journey, and can see how it will affect other areas of my life. in good and powerful ways.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
But I also have been doing work in that class I mentioned. Hmm. How to describe it....? Well some people call it Boot Camp. It's meant to be taken as seriously as you want, and I figure if I'm paying money to buy the book and do the work with the 5 other people in the class I'll take it seriously. It's pushed my buttons for sure already. Making me really look into things and question - do you REALLY believe that? Yeah, and why?
One of my favorite things about the class, besides the fact that I'm not on my own and the other women there all have something I can relate to in their struggle with weight loss, is that we do what I guess you can call art therapy. It's also called Soul Collage. Basically you have some images to pick from, you put them together on a card, glue them on and then look into your heart of hearts and see what you come up with. There is more to it but that's the beginning of it and I really find that I'm able to express some stuff with that where I may not normally go in my head.
I hit a realization this last week that seemed so completely basic and obvious that I literally started out my writing about it with "how did I not see this before?". I was reading about and asking myself about self-sabotage. It's based on the question posed in the book that ask you to see what it is about being unhealthy and over-weight that you see (unconsciously) as good for you. A question that I bristled against and argued with for a week or so until this last week when I put it into words - I had created a person in my body, this big and out of the shape I want to be body, that would be un-loveable and thus not subject to rejection because I was not even allowing myself to be loved, much less rejected. And the thing is, I know I was loved. And I got married in the middle of this whole thing. To a man who loves me. He loved me when I didn't love me. And that was a realization that was a big deal. Don't get me wrong, I knew he loved me. What I didn't realize or allow myself to see was that I had created my most un-loveable self. To avoid rejection.
That was a big deal to realize. I don't know about y'all but I am not a fan of rejection. Be it in the form of the loss of a job Or a parent leaving. Or the one you love not loving you back. Not a fan. And to realize and recognize in myself the unconscious creation of someone I would not love so that I would not be rejected?? HUGE. And now to really love myself. In all stages of this. Letting love take over helps let go of the anger and hurt that's been there for a long time.
So, we had a big meeting here at home tonight (big future plans and decisions being made) and I didn't go to the gym. I put my gym clothes on tho. :) And tomorrow I will go after work. I have committed to not stepping on the scale for the 9 weeks in this class. So that I'm focused not so much on the numbers but more on the inner stuff. I've discovered that it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I'm still doing my Medifast during the day and eating veggie stuff at night. But instead of looking at that number on the scale to praise myself or punish myself, I'm trying to focus on the loving myself aspect of this. Because that is a big deal.
The book is not for everyone and I don't recommend it if you're not ready to really look at yourself and the reasons you eat or have weight issues. And if you are not necessarily into spirituality it may grate a bit, but I am personally finding that this book: A Course in Weight Loss by Marianne Williamson
http://www.amazon.com/Course-Weight-Loss-Spiritual-Surrendering/dp/1401921531/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341289327&sr=8-1&keywords=a+course+in+weight+loss+by+marianne+williamson
to be helpful in my journey, and can see how it will affect other areas of my life. in good and powerful ways.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Exercising the biggest muscle I've got
So, missed several days at the gym due to all kinds of stuff. Went back yesterday for the first time since oh, last Thursday? Yeah, that was rough. Only did 30 min plus a cool down and I really wanted to quit after 10. BUT, I did 30 min plus a 5 min cool down. And tonight I did 40 min plus a 5 min cool down. And I feel better. That's the thing, it makes me FEEL better.
And feelings are about to become a focus for about a month and a half when I start a small women's group that is working through a book by Marianne Williamson called "A Course in Weight Loss". I am doing this for several reasons: 1. because it came up as an opportunity and it's lead by a friend of mine (former colleague) 2. because it's all about getting into the emotional why's and healing that part of myself that goes back to old destructive patterns and 3. because now seems a good time to do that. Now, not when I feel like it. If I waited till I felt like it I can guarantee you I'd not go to the gym EVER and wouldn't take this class.
So, we'll see. It starts in a week and is every Sunday for a couple of hours in the evening and goes until mid-August. I anticipate that there will be times I like it about as much as I like the treadmill at minute 35 but....I am going to keep going. Because I believe this is another key component to my success in making this for real who I am. Not just a phase like stone-washed denim and jean jackets. (not that there's anything wrong with that)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
And feelings are about to become a focus for about a month and a half when I start a small women's group that is working through a book by Marianne Williamson called "A Course in Weight Loss". I am doing this for several reasons: 1. because it came up as an opportunity and it's lead by a friend of mine (former colleague) 2. because it's all about getting into the emotional why's and healing that part of myself that goes back to old destructive patterns and 3. because now seems a good time to do that. Now, not when I feel like it. If I waited till I felt like it I can guarantee you I'd not go to the gym EVER and wouldn't take this class.
So, we'll see. It starts in a week and is every Sunday for a couple of hours in the evening and goes until mid-August. I anticipate that there will be times I like it about as much as I like the treadmill at minute 35 but....I am going to keep going. Because I believe this is another key component to my success in making this for real who I am. Not just a phase like stone-washed denim and jean jackets. (not that there's anything wrong with that)
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Cool, Clear Water
Man today was rough. I did NOT want to keep going when I got to 30 min. But I wasn't through my playlist (because I am crafty I made it last an hr with the goal of eventually lasting an hr) so I kept going for 40 min with a 5 min cool-down. I am thinking that after a month of this - 3 times a week at least - Heart Attack Hill is going to be a piece of lemon meringue pie.
Mmmmm pie. I need dinner.
Gonna be a short post. I stuck to the program today and I get tomorrow night off from the gym. :)
Oh! DUH. I forgot! I got an e-magazine from my health coach with Medifast (free, I don't pay her, she's awesome and she checks in on me and sends me info - it's great!) and one of the articles in it is about water and I was going to talk about that.....so not so short post!
I'll just link it here but I've got to say - drinking more water always helps me when I'm hungry or tired or hot (say after working my a$$ off at the gym) and I use the water enhancers that they advertise in the article. It's like the little packets you can get of Crystal Lite. Good especially if you don't have access to yummy tasting water.
So, take a look, and have a glass of water. :)
http://www.imakenews.com/medifast/e_article002442367_13.cfm?x=blbrkHP%2cbsndlLwK
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Mmmmm pie. I need dinner.
Gonna be a short post. I stuck to the program today and I get tomorrow night off from the gym. :)
Oh! DUH. I forgot! I got an e-magazine from my health coach with Medifast (free, I don't pay her, she's awesome and she checks in on me and sends me info - it's great!) and one of the articles in it is about water and I was going to talk about that.....so not so short post!
I'll just link it here but I've got to say - drinking more water always helps me when I'm hungry or tired or hot (say after working my a$$ off at the gym) and I use the water enhancers that they advertise in the article. It's like the little packets you can get of Crystal Lite. Good especially if you don't have access to yummy tasting water.
So, take a look, and have a glass of water. :)
http://www.imakenews.com/medifast/e_article002442367_13.cfm?x=blbrkHP%2cbsndlLwK
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Twenty Seven
First thing this morning I stepped on the scale. Just curious to see what my up-tick in work-outs has done for the numbers. Because I gotta say - starting on Saturday I upped my game at the gym. I started working out for at least 40 min. Just 10 min extra (the first day I even got 45 including the cool-down) and it makes a HUGE difference in all kinds of things. I can FEEL it. At 30 min I feel like I want to lay down and sleep. And at 35 min I hit another wind and keep going. I WORK OUT. Treadmill, not the circuit. I have a playlist and tonight I honed it down.
And this morning the numbers said minus 27. :)
Headed back to where I was 2 years ago. And it's going faster because 1. I'm sticking to the Medifast plan (little meals every 2 hours) and 2. I'm actually moving. That's what I didn't do last time. And boy does it work.
I realized that while I am not going to be jogging anytime soon I walk to the beat of whatever song I'm listening to and so I programmed my playlist to have songs in progressively faster beats. And I walk. Boy let me tell you when I get to the 40 minute mark and AC/DC's Thunderstruck comes on I turn it up and I walk. That's a fracking fast song! One step per beat.
So, I'm thinking I'm going to be able to hit minus 30 easily by the end of the month and maybe more.
Yes I so frackin' can. :)
Ok, here's the play list. It's called "Nic's Move It Move It Mix"...
Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine (I love the line "and it's hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off!")
Some Nights - Fun. - the lead singer of this group totally sounds like Freddy Mercury to me.
We Are Young - Fun. - yeah it's an addictive song and the beat is fun to walk to.
Howlin' for You - The Black Keys - reminds me of hockey and another good beat
Raise Your Glass - P!nk makes me want to box or something, maybe dance. :)
So What - more P!nk, she's got a 'tude.
We Found Love - Rhianna - the beat is faster than you'd think and one step per beat gets going!
Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons - I moved this one up in today's re-shuffle because of the beat.
My Body - Young The Giant - there's a part in this song that says "My body tells me no. But I won't quit cause I want more" ....at this point in the work out I totally relate to this song.
Wild Ones - Flo Rida - ok so this song also has a great beat to walk to. I have to say that I really wish the singer didn't say "running with woofs" but it's still good to walk to.
Till the Wold Ends - Britney Spears - yes, really
Thunderstruck - AC/DC - because I can't NOT move when I hear this.
Immigrant Song - Karen O with Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz - winding down a little but the beat is still fast
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake. *sigh* Let's take a moment to enjoy Mr Timberlake shall we?
Hi de Ho - K7 - for some reason thing song is fun to cool down to. The last 5 min of the work out are always "cool down" mode and you walk progressively slower and slower.
So, that's it. That's my mix. I highly recommend having one. It's much more fun to walk (or run or whatever) to a beat. :)
Did I mention 27?
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
And this morning the numbers said minus 27. :)
Headed back to where I was 2 years ago. And it's going faster because 1. I'm sticking to the Medifast plan (little meals every 2 hours) and 2. I'm actually moving. That's what I didn't do last time. And boy does it work.
I realized that while I am not going to be jogging anytime soon I walk to the beat of whatever song I'm listening to and so I programmed my playlist to have songs in progressively faster beats. And I walk. Boy let me tell you when I get to the 40 minute mark and AC/DC's Thunderstruck comes on I turn it up and I walk. That's a fracking fast song! One step per beat.
So, I'm thinking I'm going to be able to hit minus 30 easily by the end of the month and maybe more.
Yes I so frackin' can. :)
Ok, here's the play list. It's called "Nic's Move It Move It Mix"...
Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine (I love the line "and it's hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off!")
Some Nights - Fun. - the lead singer of this group totally sounds like Freddy Mercury to me.
We Are Young - Fun. - yeah it's an addictive song and the beat is fun to walk to.
Howlin' for You - The Black Keys - reminds me of hockey and another good beat
Raise Your Glass - P!nk makes me want to box or something, maybe dance. :)
So What - more P!nk, she's got a 'tude.
We Found Love - Rhianna - the beat is faster than you'd think and one step per beat gets going!
Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons - I moved this one up in today's re-shuffle because of the beat.
My Body - Young The Giant - there's a part in this song that says "My body tells me no. But I won't quit cause I want more" ....at this point in the work out I totally relate to this song.
Wild Ones - Flo Rida - ok so this song also has a great beat to walk to. I have to say that I really wish the singer didn't say "running with woofs" but it's still good to walk to.
Till the Wold Ends - Britney Spears - yes, really
Thunderstruck - AC/DC - because I can't NOT move when I hear this.
Immigrant Song - Karen O with Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz - winding down a little but the beat is still fast
SexyBack - Justin Timberlake. *sigh* Let's take a moment to enjoy Mr Timberlake shall we?
Hi de Ho - K7 - for some reason thing song is fun to cool down to. The last 5 min of the work out are always "cool down" mode and you walk progressively slower and slower.
So, that's it. That's my mix. I highly recommend having one. It's much more fun to walk (or run or whatever) to a beat. :)
Did I mention 27?
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Saturday, June 2, 2012
24
Stepped on the scale today, hesitantly because I went out to lunch or dinner this week 3 times - functions at work and a birthday dinner for a close friend. And I ate things I don't usually eat - noodles at a Mongolian Grill and tortillas at a Chevy's and some sort of bread from a bistro at work. And I only got to the gym once this week. But.....
The numbers moved again. And NOT back up. :) I'm down 24 pounds now from when I started this again in mid-March.
I was able to be more careful and made good choices at the meals. The Grill was easy because you basically just pick stuff to be grilled on a super hot grill and eat it. So, I piled up the veggies -mushrooms, tomato, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, onions, cilantro, tofu and then put noodles and a bunch of spicy stuff on top. Ginger, garlic, some curry powder and some hot sauce stuff they called Kung Pao. Too many noodles but the rest were fresh and really good.
Chevy's was harder - I LOVE chips and salsa and so I ate some. And really wanted a cheese enchilada with rice and beans and guac. But instead I got a veggie fajita - grilled onions and peppers, grilled mushrooms and black beans. No cheese but I did put little daubs of guacamole on and stuffed them into the small tortillas. Diet soda with lemon and it was very good. Not too much. Just right.
The lunch at work was pretty easy because I did the ordering so I got a salad with beets (which normally I LOATHE) and orange slices, almond slivers, goat cheese (yes, I allowed myself this) and a ton of spinach leaves.
So, even after only working out once this week (next week will be better, I've been fighting allergies this week and exhausted) and being off my Medifast strict program I still managed another 2 pounds and that is the right direction!!
It's about making it something I can sustain. And this feels like it fits that description.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
The numbers moved again. And NOT back up. :) I'm down 24 pounds now from when I started this again in mid-March.
I was able to be more careful and made good choices at the meals. The Grill was easy because you basically just pick stuff to be grilled on a super hot grill and eat it. So, I piled up the veggies -mushrooms, tomato, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, onions, cilantro, tofu and then put noodles and a bunch of spicy stuff on top. Ginger, garlic, some curry powder and some hot sauce stuff they called Kung Pao. Too many noodles but the rest were fresh and really good.
Chevy's was harder - I LOVE chips and salsa and so I ate some. And really wanted a cheese enchilada with rice and beans and guac. But instead I got a veggie fajita - grilled onions and peppers, grilled mushrooms and black beans. No cheese but I did put little daubs of guacamole on and stuffed them into the small tortillas. Diet soda with lemon and it was very good. Not too much. Just right.
The lunch at work was pretty easy because I did the ordering so I got a salad with beets (which normally I LOATHE) and orange slices, almond slivers, goat cheese (yes, I allowed myself this) and a ton of spinach leaves.
So, even after only working out once this week (next week will be better, I've been fighting allergies this week and exhausted) and being off my Medifast strict program I still managed another 2 pounds and that is the right direction!!
It's about making it something I can sustain. And this feels like it fits that description.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Attitude Adjustment
Ok, so this time we complained to the gym owners about the camping chatty twerps. SERIOUSLY. Grrr. I woke up in a great mood today, smiling and happy. Then I got in my car and had to deal with stupidity all around me (seriously, it rains here people - LEARN TO DRIVE IN IT) and the slice at work was getting yelled at REPEATEDLY by a family member of a patient. While I understand the frustration of the family member who was trying to advocate for their loved one from another state.....we were not wrong. She was. *sigh*
So by the time I got off work and got home I was good and pissy. And there were my gym clothes. Did I WANT to go back and do the circuit with those *$&#*(g steps? NO. Did I DO the circuit (around stupid chatty twerps)? YES. And while the inconsiderate people (who were around the age of 17) were very obnoxious I felt an adjustment to my pissy attitude and was very pleased with myself.
And then came home and had yummy stir fry veggies (asparagus, onions, mushrooms, green cabbage + tofu) and a griller (needed protein). Oh, and called the gym when we got home to complain about the people that 1. were just sitting and talking on the machines that we needed to use and 2. about the people that were doing this same thing YESTERDAY and ignoring that it was part of a circuit.
This is do-able. This change in diet is getting easier. I haven't had dairy in a while now, I have found some "fake cheese" that I can tolerate (it's in a green package, you get it at Safeway next to the produce by the tofu) and the Medifast really works!
Now to look forward to a new number when I weigh myself on Friday. We just got a reservation at a little hotel on some islands north of us for the weekend and are going to go explore national campgrounds and walk. Hooray for holiday weekends!
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
So by the time I got off work and got home I was good and pissy. And there were my gym clothes. Did I WANT to go back and do the circuit with those *$&#*(g steps? NO. Did I DO the circuit (around stupid chatty twerps)? YES. And while the inconsiderate people (who were around the age of 17) were very obnoxious I felt an adjustment to my pissy attitude and was very pleased with myself.
And then came home and had yummy stir fry veggies (asparagus, onions, mushrooms, green cabbage + tofu) and a griller (needed protein). Oh, and called the gym when we got home to complain about the people that 1. were just sitting and talking on the machines that we needed to use and 2. about the people that were doing this same thing YESTERDAY and ignoring that it was part of a circuit.
This is do-able. This change in diet is getting easier. I haven't had dairy in a while now, I have found some "fake cheese" that I can tolerate (it's in a green package, you get it at Safeway next to the produce by the tofu) and the Medifast really works!
Now to look forward to a new number when I weigh myself on Friday. We just got a reservation at a little hotel on some islands north of us for the weekend and are going to go explore national campgrounds and walk. Hooray for holiday weekends!
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, May 21, 2012
More Reasons
Oops, meant to include this in today's post. So I thought this article was interesting. Seems diet & exercise helps more and more these days...... in case we needed any more motivation....
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/news/articles/2012/05/21/dieting-may-lower-hormone-levels-tied-to-breast-cancer
~N
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/news/articles/2012/05/21/dieting-may-lower-hormone-levels-tied-to-breast-cancer
~N
It Gets Easier
So, hubby went with tonight and we both did the 30 minute circuit. Let me bitch here and now and say that if you are one of those kinds of people that camps on a machine and just yakks on your cell phone or with your equally annoying friend? Ok, I know you aren't because we would not be friends if you were but there were 2 VERY obnoxious guys there tonight. I think they finally got the daggers I was shooting them and they went to socialize somewhere ELSE. grrrr
So yeah, medifast every 2 or so hours. Lots of water (probably could've used more today) and then a couple of grillers and a great big old salad (YUM) for dinner. It is working. I can feel it in my clothes. And remember the picture I posted a few days back - give it 12 weeks it says. Well, this is week #3 with the gym. This is the part I didn't do last time. And THIS is the key ingredient to success. (that and not giving up)
Those steps are getting easier. Don't get me wrong. I am not running and jumping over them. I don't know that my knees would ever work again if I did, but I am still doing them. I count and switch which leg I start the step up with so I think I do about 30 or 40 steps per howeverlongthegreenlightis. Interestingly, it might have been yesterday but at some point in my steps I started to think about walking up stair cases. Because that's basically this exercise. And I thought of stair wells. And that always makes me think of the EMTs and firefighters on 9/11. And I thought of them walking in all their gear, up nearly 100 flights of stairs. And I refuse to bitch about my knees. I will keep going. Those people had a choice and they kept going up. I will too.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
So yeah, medifast every 2 or so hours. Lots of water (probably could've used more today) and then a couple of grillers and a great big old salad (YUM) for dinner. It is working. I can feel it in my clothes. And remember the picture I posted a few days back - give it 12 weeks it says. Well, this is week #3 with the gym. This is the part I didn't do last time. And THIS is the key ingredient to success. (that and not giving up)
Those steps are getting easier. Don't get me wrong. I am not running and jumping over them. I don't know that my knees would ever work again if I did, but I am still doing them. I count and switch which leg I start the step up with so I think I do about 30 or 40 steps per howeverlongthegreenlightis. Interestingly, it might have been yesterday but at some point in my steps I started to think about walking up stair cases. Because that's basically this exercise. And I thought of stair wells. And that always makes me think of the EMTs and firefighters on 9/11. And I thought of them walking in all their gear, up nearly 100 flights of stairs. And I refuse to bitch about my knees. I will keep going. Those people had a choice and they kept going up. I will too.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
Sunday, May 20, 2012
To sleep or not to sleep
So, down another pound. That makes 22 since the first weekend in March. That's a start.
I didn't go to the gym on Thursday, Friday or Saturday last week - had a family emergency on Wednesday night that kept me up all hours and I do NOT do well without sleep so was getting my sleep clock re-set.
I did go back today. Did the 30 minute express circuit. Still hate the steps. BUT I'm not in as much immediate pain as I was last week when we first did it. So there's that. :) Yeah I'm going to keep doing the circuit for a bit. The treadmill is a great (easy) warm up for me and I can very easily do that for 30 minutes. This circuit with the weights and steps for cardio is not easy. Which means I need to keep doing it. So the goal is to do it 3 times at least this week and see where we are next week.
So, re: sleep. I remember a while back hearing that the lack of sleep could contribute to weight gain and I thought I'd look into that for today's post. I have always, ALWAYS needed steady sleep. In college I had one or 2 nights (perhaps more but lost to the haze of time) where I did not sleep at all, but since I was a wee girl I have always known when I was tired and that I could fix that feeling by going and finding somewhere comfy to sleep. I generally get 7 or 8 hours of sleep consistently. When I was depressed I could sleep 15 hours easily but thankfully those years are LONG gone.
There are many places to find the info on how sleep and weight are related but one of my favorite sites to check stuff out is webmd.com. There is an article there that points out exactly what happened to me on Thursday. That when you are tired you are more inclined to make poor decisions - picking up that donut for a quick pick me up instead of going for the salad. Well on Thursday I had what would normally be a stressful day at work but on top of that I'd had about 4 and a half hours of sleep and thus found myself rationalizing the veggie burger I got at Burger King. I got a salad as well but still.... Yeah. White bread buns, cheese (oddly enough I didn't find my guts hurting like I'd expected from the cheese) stuff I've stayed far away from in the last month and a half. And I had 60 ounces of iced coffee, sixty. It kept me awake and I survived the day at work, however I did find myself wide awake at 9pm when by rights I should have been passed OUT.
Now, I know I have moms that read my blog and I know one that is a brand-new mom and she has been struggling to get ANY sleep much less adequate and consistent sleep. I thought that perhaps this article might be of interest to you as it is to me. It won't help you get more sleep, but might be food for thought with regards to choices when you're tired.
Here's the link: http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/lack-of-sleep-weight-gain
Keeping on keeping on here. You do the same.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
I didn't go to the gym on Thursday, Friday or Saturday last week - had a family emergency on Wednesday night that kept me up all hours and I do NOT do well without sleep so was getting my sleep clock re-set.
I did go back today. Did the 30 minute express circuit. Still hate the steps. BUT I'm not in as much immediate pain as I was last week when we first did it. So there's that. :) Yeah I'm going to keep doing the circuit for a bit. The treadmill is a great (easy) warm up for me and I can very easily do that for 30 minutes. This circuit with the weights and steps for cardio is not easy. Which means I need to keep doing it. So the goal is to do it 3 times at least this week and see where we are next week.
So, re: sleep. I remember a while back hearing that the lack of sleep could contribute to weight gain and I thought I'd look into that for today's post. I have always, ALWAYS needed steady sleep. In college I had one or 2 nights (perhaps more but lost to the haze of time) where I did not sleep at all, but since I was a wee girl I have always known when I was tired and that I could fix that feeling by going and finding somewhere comfy to sleep. I generally get 7 or 8 hours of sleep consistently. When I was depressed I could sleep 15 hours easily but thankfully those years are LONG gone.
There are many places to find the info on how sleep and weight are related but one of my favorite sites to check stuff out is webmd.com. There is an article there that points out exactly what happened to me on Thursday. That when you are tired you are more inclined to make poor decisions - picking up that donut for a quick pick me up instead of going for the salad. Well on Thursday I had what would normally be a stressful day at work but on top of that I'd had about 4 and a half hours of sleep and thus found myself rationalizing the veggie burger I got at Burger King. I got a salad as well but still.... Yeah. White bread buns, cheese (oddly enough I didn't find my guts hurting like I'd expected from the cheese) stuff I've stayed far away from in the last month and a half. And I had 60 ounces of iced coffee, sixty. It kept me awake and I survived the day at work, however I did find myself wide awake at 9pm when by rights I should have been passed OUT.
Now, I know I have moms that read my blog and I know one that is a brand-new mom and she has been struggling to get ANY sleep much less adequate and consistent sleep. I thought that perhaps this article might be of interest to you as it is to me. It won't help you get more sleep, but might be food for thought with regards to choices when you're tired.
Here's the link: http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/excessive-sleepiness-10/lack-of-sleep-weight-gain
Keeping on keeping on here. You do the same.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
ow ow ow ow ow
So, we didn't go to the gym. Neither of us wanted to face the circuit today. Instead we did the P90X stretching video. Now, you KNOW your ass is sore when P90X is considered the lesser of 2 evils. This particular one was good, they are all good but normally I can't do the workout. This focuses on stretching all the muscles that were sore....namely all of them. So we did that for 30 minutes, and then we went on a mile walk. And I am still sore. Still moving. And still not giving up.
At one point in the walk, with my quadriceps (the muscles that hide on the outsides of your thighs) burning hubby turned to me and said "does it feel good?". I could've lied. But no. I said "no, but I'm gonna keep on doing it."
Read a great article tonight that I will link here actually. It's all about heart disease and how our diet has caused the high rates of heart disease in the U.S. And it's not (or probably not) the stuff you think they're going to focus on. I'll let you read it but it's written by a cardiac surgeon who says the common theme that he has seen through patients is inflammation in the arteries. Inflammation caused by the processed foods and unhealthy balances of fats and sugars. Here, read it for yourself: (it made me very happy that we eat what we do in my house, there are no processed foods in any corner of this house, none) http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242516-Heart-Surgeon-Speaks-Out-On-What-Really-Causes-Heart-Disease
Tomorrow we head back to the circuit. Stretching is an important key to not injuring muscles. I tend to forget this. I think today's focus on stretching was a good break and will happen more. (it still left us breathless so it was for sure a work out, it is after all P90X)
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
At one point in the walk, with my quadriceps (the muscles that hide on the outsides of your thighs) burning hubby turned to me and said "does it feel good?". I could've lied. But no. I said "no, but I'm gonna keep on doing it."
Read a great article tonight that I will link here actually. It's all about heart disease and how our diet has caused the high rates of heart disease in the U.S. And it's not (or probably not) the stuff you think they're going to focus on. I'll let you read it but it's written by a cardiac surgeon who says the common theme that he has seen through patients is inflammation in the arteries. Inflammation caused by the processed foods and unhealthy balances of fats and sugars. Here, read it for yourself: (it made me very happy that we eat what we do in my house, there are no processed foods in any corner of this house, none) http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242516-Heart-Surgeon-Speaks-Out-On-What-Really-Causes-Heart-Disease
Tomorrow we head back to the circuit. Stretching is an important key to not injuring muscles. I tend to forget this. I think today's focus on stretching was a good break and will happen more. (it still left us breathless so it was for sure a work out, it is after all P90X)
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
Monday, May 14, 2012
OH. MY. GOD.
Ok, so this week is the week I'm doing the Planet Fitness 30 minute work out. It's like Curves. Without the cattle caller. I HATE the steps. HATE them. HATE THEM! But I did them. All 20 stations.
You start with the step. It's basically a purple step that has a handle at one side and you step up and off as many times as you can for however long the light on the wall is green. And that alternates with machines that work on all your muscle groups - arms, legs, and finally a crunch/abs machine that made me want to cry by the time I was done. Each station you do as many reps at as you can in the time that you're given - it's more than a minute, but I'm not sure how long. And did I mention I HATE the steps? Yeah. That means they are good exercise.....
And I did them. I had yesterday off from the gym or exercise. And back at it tonight. That icky feeling from the salad or whatever it was lasted till this morning. NOT a good feeling. So I was happy to have the Medifast today.
We shall see how I do in 2 days at this 30 minute thing. By the time I left tonight (hubby went too and did it) I wanted to just lie down and moan for a bit. Here's hoping by the end of the week I don't loathe those purple steps.
But no matter what - I'm gonna keep trying.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
You start with the step. It's basically a purple step that has a handle at one side and you step up and off as many times as you can for however long the light on the wall is green. And that alternates with machines that work on all your muscle groups - arms, legs, and finally a crunch/abs machine that made me want to cry by the time I was done. Each station you do as many reps at as you can in the time that you're given - it's more than a minute, but I'm not sure how long. And did I mention I HATE the steps? Yeah. That means they are good exercise.....
And I did them. I had yesterday off from the gym or exercise. And back at it tonight. That icky feeling from the salad or whatever it was lasted till this morning. NOT a good feeling. So I was happy to have the Medifast today.
We shall see how I do in 2 days at this 30 minute thing. By the time I left tonight (hubby went too and did it) I wanted to just lie down and moan for a bit. Here's hoping by the end of the week I don't loathe those purple steps.
But no matter what - I'm gonna keep trying.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Sunday, May 13, 2012
oh my aching....
Ok, well I did it. Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday = gym. 35 min on treadmill.
Wednesday = walk for 20 min
Saturday = 30+ min (I didn't count) weeding in the yard.
And I am SORE! But it's a good kind of sore. The kind that reminds you that your muscles really are still there. I'm not sure if I'm going to the gym today or not. This week my plan is to try the 30 min workout that they have that is similar to Curves. You do as many reps as you can on whatever station you are in, for 1 minute, and then move on.
And we are in a new set of 10s on the scale. Give or take a pound of water that seems to come and go (man I drink a lot of water!) I'm well on my way. Yesterday I ate something that must have had dairy in it or something because my guts are complaining loudly today. I had a yummy salad at a local restaurant - had lettuce, tomatos, corn, black beans, avocado, tofu (they substituted this at my request because I asked for no cheese), cilantro and some slivers of tortilla chips. I think it was the salad dressing - I am not sure but I'd guess it had dairy in it. Whatever the case I am fully paying the price today. I feel like Violet from Willy Wonka. *groan*
But that's one week down. Gotta keep the focus up. Medifast is still helping with the small frequent meals. And now I just have to learn how to order food when we go out (I think that besides asking for no cheese I would have been better off asking that they put any dressing they normally add to the salad on the side so I could manage it). Just gonna take practice.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Wednesday = walk for 20 min
Saturday = 30+ min (I didn't count) weeding in the yard.
And I am SORE! But it's a good kind of sore. The kind that reminds you that your muscles really are still there. I'm not sure if I'm going to the gym today or not. This week my plan is to try the 30 min workout that they have that is similar to Curves. You do as many reps as you can on whatever station you are in, for 1 minute, and then move on.
And we are in a new set of 10s on the scale. Give or take a pound of water that seems to come and go (man I drink a lot of water!) I'm well on my way. Yesterday I ate something that must have had dairy in it or something because my guts are complaining loudly today. I had a yummy salad at a local restaurant - had lettuce, tomatos, corn, black beans, avocado, tofu (they substituted this at my request because I asked for no cheese), cilantro and some slivers of tortilla chips. I think it was the salad dressing - I am not sure but I'd guess it had dairy in it. Whatever the case I am fully paying the price today. I feel like Violet from Willy Wonka. *groan*
But that's one week down. Gotta keep the focus up. Medifast is still helping with the small frequent meals. And now I just have to learn how to order food when we go out (I think that besides asking for no cheese I would have been better off asking that they put any dressing they normally add to the salad on the side so I could manage it). Just gonna take practice.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Thursday, May 10, 2012
motivation
So, normally I am very careful with how pictures are taken of me. Because I'm tall (nearly 6') any picture taken as people usually do will go UP my nose and (in my opinion) shows off my double chin.....which of course I LOATHE. I always have pictures taken from above, an angle that is more flattering. BUT not necessarily how 90-99% of others around me see me.
Today one of my dearest friends put some pics up on facebook. She had a baby boy (who is adorable) just about 7 weeks ago now and I got to meet him last weekend for the first time. It was great. Lots of friends from college, and my friend who I've actually known since we were single-digit ages. Lots of fun. But as I looked at the pics tonight all I could see was the double chin. ARRRRGH.
And then I realized - these are my before pics. :) When I reach my goal (and oh yes I will, I'm waiting for hubby to come home and we're going to the gym tonight) I am going to have a picture taken with little mister and compare it.
It's important to do reality checks, even if you don't like what you see. Stepping on a scale was one thing. Seeing pictures and not liking what I see is another. So I'm working on that. It's a combination of ego and, well, ego really. It's motivation. The pictures are fine. They show me being happy to be with my friends. And someday I will take new ones that look better.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Today one of my dearest friends put some pics up on facebook. She had a baby boy (who is adorable) just about 7 weeks ago now and I got to meet him last weekend for the first time. It was great. Lots of friends from college, and my friend who I've actually known since we were single-digit ages. Lots of fun. But as I looked at the pics tonight all I could see was the double chin. ARRRRGH.
And then I realized - these are my before pics. :) When I reach my goal (and oh yes I will, I'm waiting for hubby to come home and we're going to the gym tonight) I am going to have a picture taken with little mister and compare it.
It's important to do reality checks, even if you don't like what you see. Stepping on a scale was one thing. Seeing pictures and not liking what I see is another. So I'm working on that. It's a combination of ego and, well, ego really. It's motivation. The pictures are fine. They show me being happy to be with my friends. And someday I will take new ones that look better.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
feel the burn
Didn't go to the gym today, hubby begged off (after only 1 day?! lol) and so we went on a walk and then to get groceries for the soup for dinner.
I've forgotten the pains of getting yourself in shape. Specifically how much burn I get in the sides of my calves. I may have to look at getting a new pair of shoes. Today was rough, I did the mile but man there were times it was just incredibly painful. But I kept going. Because I won't give up.
Just keep going. Yup.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
I've forgotten the pains of getting yourself in shape. Specifically how much burn I get in the sides of my calves. I may have to look at getting a new pair of shoes. Today was rough, I did the mile but man there were times it was just incredibly painful. But I kept going. Because I won't give up.
Just keep going. Yup.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Habit Forming
Ok, so today was day #3 going to the gym and the first time hubby went with me. I am such a competitive person!!! He is in much better shape than I am and when we set up our treadmills beside each other I kept looking at how fast he was going and when he started running I thought "he makes it look so easy". DAMMIT!! But I must remember, this is a new habit. I'm not going to just start running. I hate running. I love how easy it looks when someone else does it but I have never liked it. I tried running when I was in high school and I LOATHED it. And that was when I was in shape! So today I just kept re-directing myself, turning my iPod music UP (thank you Black Eyed Peas) and focused on keeping my heart rate around the same. I did 30 minutes and then a 5 minute cool down.
Got super busy at work today and the result was that instead of eating at 5 when I should have, I came home and went to the gym and then ate. So I technically have 2 more meals to eat. I'm thinking chocolate shake and chocolate pudding. :) Yes, those count as meals. Muahahahaha.
So, my goal was to go once a week for a month. So far I've done 2 days this week and 1 last week. They say it takes 2 weeks to create a new habit. Well, ok then. 2 weeks of treadmill action it shall be. Then I'm moving on to the nautlius machines. I just have to remind myself that I'm competing against myself. No one else. And try to picture Jillian Michaels somewhere nearby saying "DON'T STOP! KEEP GOING!".
Yup, this is going to work. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Got super busy at work today and the result was that instead of eating at 5 when I should have, I came home and went to the gym and then ate. So I technically have 2 more meals to eat. I'm thinking chocolate shake and chocolate pudding. :) Yes, those count as meals. Muahahahaha.
So, my goal was to go once a week for a month. So far I've done 2 days this week and 1 last week. They say it takes 2 weeks to create a new habit. Well, ok then. 2 weeks of treadmill action it shall be. Then I'm moving on to the nautlius machines. I just have to remind myself that I'm competing against myself. No one else. And try to picture Jillian Michaels somewhere nearby saying "DON'T STOP! KEEP GOING!".
Yup, this is going to work. :)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Monday, May 7, 2012
Temptation EVERYWHERE
Ok, first things first - I had a small piece of chocolate cake today. That's my confession. I almost made it the entire day with just eating my Medifast every 2 or 3 hours, but at the end of the day I said F-it and had a small piece. And enjoyed every bite.
Then I came home, changed into my work out clothes, got my iPod and went to the gym. It was pretty full tonight, making me anxious - I'm not a fan of big groups - but I was not about to let that stop me. Then I walked in the door and was met with the smell of PIZZA. In my GYM. WHAT. THE. HELL??? Seriously?? Apparently the first Monday night of the month is Pizza night at my gym. Short of saying it's to keep people coming because they eat too much, I have no idea why they do this. Anyway, I did 35 min on the treadmill at 3.2 mph. Broke a consistent sweat and kept my heart rate up where it needs to be.
And then I walked right past that pizza (topped with lots of cheese.....) and came home. Drank a big bottle of water and heated up some grillers for dinner. I haven't had enough protein tonight I don't think so will need more than the grillers and sugar snap peas and sweet peppers I ate. But it's a step.
Who gives away pizza at a GYM?!!! Wow. I guess if I keep associating it with stinky, sweaty feet it will get much easier to not eat cheese ever again.
Working on no dairy this week to see if that helps.
So, despite the chocolate cake (did I mention it was good?? It was also very sugary and I've evidently changed my ability to intake sugar because it was almost too sweet for me. Actually it was too sweet but I ate it anyway.)
Doing it.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
Then I came home, changed into my work out clothes, got my iPod and went to the gym. It was pretty full tonight, making me anxious - I'm not a fan of big groups - but I was not about to let that stop me. Then I walked in the door and was met with the smell of PIZZA. In my GYM. WHAT. THE. HELL??? Seriously?? Apparently the first Monday night of the month is Pizza night at my gym. Short of saying it's to keep people coming because they eat too much, I have no idea why they do this. Anyway, I did 35 min on the treadmill at 3.2 mph. Broke a consistent sweat and kept my heart rate up where it needs to be.
And then I walked right past that pizza (topped with lots of cheese.....) and came home. Drank a big bottle of water and heated up some grillers for dinner. I haven't had enough protein tonight I don't think so will need more than the grillers and sugar snap peas and sweet peppers I ate. But it's a step.
Who gives away pizza at a GYM?!!! Wow. I guess if I keep associating it with stinky, sweaty feet it will get much easier to not eat cheese ever again.
Working on no dairy this week to see if that helps.
So, despite the chocolate cake (did I mention it was good?? It was also very sugary and I've evidently changed my ability to intake sugar because it was almost too sweet for me. Actually it was too sweet but I ate it anyway.)
Doing it.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
Saturday, May 5, 2012
*ominous theme music*
First of all, after weeks of stressing and worrying and several icky and invasive tests I have been given a clean bill of health. This is great news, and not so great news. Great in that I do not need any more tests (unless in 6 months I'm still having pain) and I don't have cancer or cirrhosis etc. Great in that what I need to do to fix it is keep doing what I've been doing - diet and exercise. Not so great in that I was hoping for a clear answer as to why I've been feeling like poop on a stick.
But that's not much of a not so great eh? :) And I weighed in at the MD office and I am down 10 pounds since I saw the doctor last. I'm telling you I nearly did a tap dance. If ever was a question, Medifast WORKS. Yes it does. I've gone walking with K 4 or 5 times in the last couple of weeks. A mile and faster each time. I'm still very tired so I'm still getting better. But I'm getting better. :)
And today I went and I signed up for a gym membership. Yup. That's where the ominous music comes in. Normally I loathe gyms. I went to a Curves for a little bit, it was very small, loud and bouncy. NOT my style. I felt like a cow in the middle of a stampede. Not at all my style so I quit. Then I signed up for 24 hrs fitness, at least 2 different times. And I did go a few times. Mainly stuck to the treadmill. It was loud, bouncy, but I could just go and be anonymous on the treadmill. But the big hangup was that the closest one was at least 15 min drive from my house... and not on the way home from work. So, I quit after a while.
A few months ago I noticed that an old abandoned grocery store up the hill from my house, next to the Starbucks that we have walked to (MtSnoBB you and I met there) had been turned into a gym. I thought "huh, should check that out". But never did. Last night I saw the sign after coming home from Sweet Tomatos where we celebrated my good news and I said "I'm looking that up tonight." And sure enough, Planet Fitness is a nationwide chain and they specialize in what they call "judgment free zones".
Today we went and took a tour and signed up. K got a $10 a month membership where you get unlimited work outs and no commitment. And I got a $20 a month membership that also includes unlimited guest pass, tanning and massage chairs etc. $20 a month to get healthy. And it's close to home (and coffee). I CAN and will be doing this. It's a great big open space (see: grocery store) FULL of treadmills, free weights, resistance weights, an area that has the circuit that Curves did where you do 1 minute of as many reps as you can and move to the next - without the cattle caller. And it was quiet, the treadmills have iPod docs and headphones if you want to watch tv. It's great! They have free fitness training classes - where you can meet with a personal trainer to set up a personal training program. Other gyms charge for this, but on this program there are only 5 people per class and you pick a time that works for you and meet with the personal trainer - discuss your goals and set up a plan that will help you get to your goals. AND you can then go back for more feedback after you set up a program. Sorta like a personal trainer, but a little less one on one, which is fine with me.
So, I'm starting to put it together. And this time feels like it will stick. Without the fear of some dread disease looming over my head. No excuses when it comes to any different type of gym exercise I might want to do. And a change in what I've been eating and drinking that feels lasting. I am still working on telling my brain that cheese is gross and not incredibly delicious. It's not good for me. In fact part of what's been my problem is possibly a burgeoning gluten intolerance and lactose intolerance. So I'm embracing the non-dairy life (there is always frozen yogurt for dessert) and I will go to that big purple and green gym at least 1 time a week for 1 month, then move the expectations higher (2 times a week etc.) I've even got a guest pass - so if you wanna go with me...let me know.
I'm doing it.
One step. One pound. One day at a time.
~N
But that's not much of a not so great eh? :) And I weighed in at the MD office and I am down 10 pounds since I saw the doctor last. I'm telling you I nearly did a tap dance. If ever was a question, Medifast WORKS. Yes it does. I've gone walking with K 4 or 5 times in the last couple of weeks. A mile and faster each time. I'm still very tired so I'm still getting better. But I'm getting better. :)
And today I went and I signed up for a gym membership. Yup. That's where the ominous music comes in. Normally I loathe gyms. I went to a Curves for a little bit, it was very small, loud and bouncy. NOT my style. I felt like a cow in the middle of a stampede. Not at all my style so I quit. Then I signed up for 24 hrs fitness, at least 2 different times. And I did go a few times. Mainly stuck to the treadmill. It was loud, bouncy, but I could just go and be anonymous on the treadmill. But the big hangup was that the closest one was at least 15 min drive from my house... and not on the way home from work. So, I quit after a while.
A few months ago I noticed that an old abandoned grocery store up the hill from my house, next to the Starbucks that we have walked to (MtSnoBB you and I met there) had been turned into a gym. I thought "huh, should check that out". But never did. Last night I saw the sign after coming home from Sweet Tomatos where we celebrated my good news and I said "I'm looking that up tonight." And sure enough, Planet Fitness is a nationwide chain and they specialize in what they call "judgment free zones".
Today we went and took a tour and signed up. K got a $10 a month membership where you get unlimited work outs and no commitment. And I got a $20 a month membership that also includes unlimited guest pass, tanning and massage chairs etc. $20 a month to get healthy. And it's close to home (and coffee). I CAN and will be doing this. It's a great big open space (see: grocery store) FULL of treadmills, free weights, resistance weights, an area that has the circuit that Curves did where you do 1 minute of as many reps as you can and move to the next - without the cattle caller. And it was quiet, the treadmills have iPod docs and headphones if you want to watch tv. It's great! They have free fitness training classes - where you can meet with a personal trainer to set up a personal training program. Other gyms charge for this, but on this program there are only 5 people per class and you pick a time that works for you and meet with the personal trainer - discuss your goals and set up a plan that will help you get to your goals. AND you can then go back for more feedback after you set up a program. Sorta like a personal trainer, but a little less one on one, which is fine with me.
So, I'm starting to put it together. And this time feels like it will stick. Without the fear of some dread disease looming over my head. No excuses when it comes to any different type of gym exercise I might want to do. And a change in what I've been eating and drinking that feels lasting. I am still working on telling my brain that cheese is gross and not incredibly delicious. It's not good for me. In fact part of what's been my problem is possibly a burgeoning gluten intolerance and lactose intolerance. So I'm embracing the non-dairy life (there is always frozen yogurt for dessert) and I will go to that big purple and green gym at least 1 time a week for 1 month, then move the expectations higher (2 times a week etc.) I've even got a guest pass - so if you wanna go with me...let me know.
I'm doing it.
One step. One pound. One day at a time.
~N
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Eat to live
So, the last time I did Medifast I remember being hungry and cranky and not liking the food. This time is different, probably because I've already changed my diet significantly over the past year. Whatever the case, I'm on day 3 of the 5&1 plan (you eat 5 of the Medifast meals throughout the day - every 2 or 3 hours) and 1 "lean & green" meal.
This time I like the food - the eggs are better, more egg-y. I like the hot chocolate and really like the veggie sloppy joes. I am going to have to come up with some recipes for the lean & green meal because, even tho our meals are very healthy, they are not giving me enough protein. So, working on that.
We're walking a mile a day now, most days of the week. Not up heart attack hill yet, I'm still so tired all the time. But that's more likely to do with whatever's going on in my guts. Speaking of, saw the GI doc this week. He has 3 ideas that he thinks it could be. 1 is post-infectious irritable bowel. Neato. Basically that would mean that I've just not ever gotten over being sick a month ago. 2 is a disease that is close to NASH (the non-alcoholic fatty liver) and basically is fatty liver that hasn't "irritated" the liver yet (so not as bad). And 3 is something to do with my body's ability to deal with iron. Being a vegetarian I was confused at first as to why I'd be having difficulty with iron and where I was getting iron from....then I remembered "leafy green vegetables"....aka pretty much everything I've eaten in the last month.
So, more tests to come this next week. I went to a lab that had someone who I consider to be the ROCK STAR of blood draws - not only did she find a vein that I couldn't even see in my arm, but she got 4 vials of blood in 45 seconds. FOUR!!! Last time it was barely 1 vial from my hand in 2 minutes. WAY better. (could've been the Xanax but I'm giving the credit to her)
So today I had blueberry oatmeal (YUM), eggs with spices and sri ra cha (YUM), Spiced pancakes (will be yum when I figure out how not to make sad little wrinkled up thin disc looking things, and am going to friends' for dinner where I'm going to test out my lean & green skills. I still get 2 more of the MF meals so I'm taking one of the caramel bars with me and when we get home I get to have pudding. Yup. I can like this plan. I still don't like the soy cheese that I bought, but today I ate 2 slices of it with a Wasa cracker for a snack and maybe it's because I know I can't have anything else or I was just lightheaded and hungry (not really) but it wasn't awful. Baby steps...
One day. One step. One pound at a time. (weighing in tomorrow so will have #s on that later)
~N
This time I like the food - the eggs are better, more egg-y. I like the hot chocolate and really like the veggie sloppy joes. I am going to have to come up with some recipes for the lean & green meal because, even tho our meals are very healthy, they are not giving me enough protein. So, working on that.
We're walking a mile a day now, most days of the week. Not up heart attack hill yet, I'm still so tired all the time. But that's more likely to do with whatever's going on in my guts. Speaking of, saw the GI doc this week. He has 3 ideas that he thinks it could be. 1 is post-infectious irritable bowel. Neato. Basically that would mean that I've just not ever gotten over being sick a month ago. 2 is a disease that is close to NASH (the non-alcoholic fatty liver) and basically is fatty liver that hasn't "irritated" the liver yet (so not as bad). And 3 is something to do with my body's ability to deal with iron. Being a vegetarian I was confused at first as to why I'd be having difficulty with iron and where I was getting iron from....then I remembered "leafy green vegetables"....aka pretty much everything I've eaten in the last month.
So, more tests to come this next week. I went to a lab that had someone who I consider to be the ROCK STAR of blood draws - not only did she find a vein that I couldn't even see in my arm, but she got 4 vials of blood in 45 seconds. FOUR!!! Last time it was barely 1 vial from my hand in 2 minutes. WAY better. (could've been the Xanax but I'm giving the credit to her)
So today I had blueberry oatmeal (YUM), eggs with spices and sri ra cha (YUM), Spiced pancakes (will be yum when I figure out how not to make sad little wrinkled up thin disc looking things, and am going to friends' for dinner where I'm going to test out my lean & green skills. I still get 2 more of the MF meals so I'm taking one of the caramel bars with me and when we get home I get to have pudding. Yup. I can like this plan. I still don't like the soy cheese that I bought, but today I ate 2 slices of it with a Wasa cracker for a snack and maybe it's because I know I can't have anything else or I was just lightheaded and hungry (not really) but it wasn't awful. Baby steps...
One day. One step. One pound at a time. (weighing in tomorrow so will have #s on that later)
~N
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Unexpected left turn
So, hi. I'm back again. Last post was in January where I was pathetically laying on my bed to exercise.
Now I'm walking every day for at least 15 min, usually 20. And I started Medifast again, first order comes this week or next. I have a great friend who is my health coach who knows me and who will help me do this. And I'm doing juicing at night to help my body heal. And I've lost 18 pounds in the last month.
This brings me to really what prompted all of this. A little over a month ago now I got the flu. I'd had some days off of work and went on a trip to see family. Late nights. Drinks. Not necessarily good for me food. Fun! Then I got back and was only at work for a day when I felt lousy. Lousy lousy. Headache, feverish, with all the fun of cold and flu. Sniffling, sneezing, stuffy, crampy, yeah, the whole 9 yards. I was out for a week at work and when I came back I was still only able really to eat soup and drink stuff like Gatorade and Ginger Ale. I figured, hey why not capitalize on this and just re-set my eating habits. We've been still eating pretty healthy at home, but I was back in my old habits at work and on the weekends - i.e. fast food and not moving. So that first week I lost 3 pounds and I figured it would come back with my appetite.
Except my appetite didn't come back. And I started feeling really tired and lethargic and generally just *meh*. That happened for another week with my stomach still feeling off and on like I was not done with the flu. The third week I started to exercise in the living room. Lifting weights in as many different ways as I could, 20 times each, and trying to do some sit ups to start getting my "core" back from under all that flab. By the end of that week I developed a stitch in my side. My right side. And by Saturday I was wondering if in fact my appendix was telling me it wanted to come out. Still not really hungry, no fever, but this pain in my gut. Especially if I ate anything and like a knife when I breathed in.
So I put it to the people I love and trust - my FB friends list. I got all kinds of votes - rib out from exercising (wouldn't THAT be cool I worked out SO HARD my rib popped out!), not appendicitis since the pain didn't show up when I moved my hand away, it got better actually. And then someone said "gall bladder" and I said "hmm". I know that gall bladders can act up (called "cholecystitis" for you med-types) if you eat big meals with fat and yummy/bad-for-you stuff so I thought "well this would not fit me - the biggest meal I've had in 3 weeks was a subway sandwich!" But when I looked online I found that in fact one of the markers of an attack is the pain in your upper right abdomen when you breathe in.
At the insistence of my husband and because I hadn't gone in when I had the flu earlier I decided to go to the doc. Luckily my doctor's office has a late clinic on Mondays so I went after work a week ago. And the cute doc said "yep, looks like gallbladder to me. You need an ultrasound." OK, there are at least 2 kinds of ultrasounds. The kind where they put jelly on your belly and look at your insides - usually done to look at babies - and another kind where they insert something in somewhere else and look at your insides. I have had the not-so-neat one before and I was REALLY glad to know that this was a jelly-belly one. It was cool. I went and laid on this comfy table and she put jelly on my belly, it was warm even, and I got to see all kinds of stuff! I am fascinated by what's inside my body. I really am. Not enough to be a nurse or doctor, you'll understand that in another paragraph, but enough to ask "hey, what's that?" I got to see my kidneys, pancreas, gallbladder, liver. Very easy procedure. No babies. *whew!*
Then I had to go get some blood taken. In January I'd talked to my doctor about a blood test to see about my thyroid and to make sure I'm not pushing Diabetes and I'd put off the blood test. Fortunately, or not, for me the place I had the ultrasound also did labs. So, feeling all nice and comfy after looking at my innards I went to see Dan in the lab. Poor Dan. I did warn him. I told him "look my veins are crappy and hard to stick and I am a big baby when it comes to this stuff so I hope I don't pass out on you". That should have been his cue to RUN, not walk, from his room. They have to take my blood from my hands because my veins are really really little, who knows why, I say they're smart - they're HIDING! Anyway so he gets this tiny needle in my hand and I'm staring VERY intently at a plant and breathing and thinking "I got a damn tattoo I can DO THIS". Then he pulled the needle out.
I am not sure how to precisely describe what happens to my body when I have blood drawn. Dan did a perfectly fine job. I didn't even bruise. But immediately upon removing the needle I started to sweat. And when I say "sweat" I mean run-your-ass-off-on-a-treadmill sweat. And I was pretty sure I was going to puke. So I asked for some water. I had not eaten anything and I knew that they made sure people had OJ or something after giving blood and even tho he said "wow, your blood does NOT like to come out" he did get some of my precious blood. So Dan brought me water and I sat for the next 10 minutes (perhaps 5 hours but I'm pretty sure it was 10 min) doing deep breathing, holding my head in my hands and making low moaning sounds. Not only was it extremely embarrassing for me, but it panicked poor Dan. Well maybe "panicked" isn't the right word. I would hazard a guess that probably nothing could panic that man. But anyway, 10 min later and 2 "Reader's Digest" stories later (he read them to me, probably in hopes that I would focus on the words and not pass out - I can tell you one was about Mrs. Paul's fish sticks) I was able to walk out of the office and go to my car. Where I immediately drove to Subway and got an OJ and an eggwhite flat bread breakfast sandwich.
Wow this is taking longer than I thought. So that was last Thursday. On Friday I expected the doctor to call. Nope. So I called the office and was told that my results were in but "the doctor will have to call you". This is not something a patient wants to hear. Not "oh yeah it's fine". But "we have to have the doctor call you". So Monday comes, I've been fretting all weekend and trying to pretend I'm not. I actually tried to work in the yard for a bit. I weeded for almost an hour and then stood up and realized "oh hey I'm probably going to pass out or puke". So that was the end of that.
So on Monday I get a call from the clinic. And I hear words I really had not expected to hear. "Hepatocellular disease", followed by the fantastic "fatty liver". She said "I'm not sure why it says this but it's got both on there." And I have my pen and paper and I'm writing the words and thinking "ummmmmmmm, WHAT?" and she says "and you need to make an appointment with a GI doctor." So I work that out and then hang up and stare at the words on the paper.
And look at the picture on my wall of me and my boy, only married just over a year now. Knowing I'm going to have to tell him, and I start to cry. And then I think about telling my mom and my dad and my little brother and my friends. Oh man. I really start to cry and freak out. So I texted a friend who has been there for some of my most seriously screwed up times and we both kind of let that sink in. And then I start researching online. So it turns out you don't have to be an alcoholic (which I am not, despite what my AMAZINGLY judgmental family in one area of the country seems to think - based on my posts on FACEBOOK! gah) to get liver disease. In fact of the 2 likely candidates for what's going on with me neither has to do with alcohol. One is called Non Alcoholic Steatohepatitis (NASH) and the other is the fantastically named "Fatty Liver Disease" which another friend that I texted pointed out was a harsh and rude name.
My vote is, and my guess is the Fatty Liver disease. Turns out that when your liver, which filters out everything you put in your body - from foods, to drinks, to medicines - gets too full of fat to filter, it gets inflamed. The good thing is that this is treatable and reversible. With.......diet and exercise! The bad thing is that if you let it go too long you can in fact get cirrhosis which basically means your liver won't work. So I had a few days of crying and being sad. Hubby was REALLY upset, still is actually, he's in the kitchen juicing vegetables right now to help cleanse the liver. And my awesome friends and family are also concerned.
The thing is - I don't know what the specialist is going to tell me next week. I'm guessing I'm gonna have to "give" more blood (I got a Rx for Xanax so I don't just pass right out then and there) and the only way they can really tell between these 2 diseases is a liver biopsy (yes, it's just as fun as you'd think). So I have to wait to find out.
But in the meantime this house has gone thru some major, MAJOR changes. The alcohol is gone. I love to drink. I would say I probably had 3-5 drinks on a weekend once or twice a month but on holidays? Yeah we had a tradition in my house where we "killed" a bottle of tequila on Christmas. Just the 2 of us. That's not going to happen any more. My beloved cheese is gone. I went out and bought a couple of different types of soy cheese to try. One that I unfortunately got 2 packets of is NASTY. The other's not bad. Neither is cheese. But they will have to do. I bought almond milk for things like my oatmeal and coffee (I'm NOT giving up coffee, sorry) and have been very careful about picking things out that are low to zero fat. I'm down 18 pounds since last month, and while I know not all of this is because of eating healthy I know that drinking water, juicing, cutting out sugar and fats, are all good for me. And we've been walking every day. First day was slow, I'm so tired and lethargic. But It's almost a mile. And it's SOMETHING. I'm going to bed at least 2 hours before I usually do just because I'm so tired.
And I'm choosing to say that this is going to be a positive stepping stone - a point at which we will look back and say "yeah we chose to be healthy after that". No matter what the doc says next week. I said at the beginning of this blog that I didn't want to end up having a stroke or being really sick....well.....I'm on the cusp of that. And I REFUSE to give up. Now more than ever the one day at a time mantra means something important to me. So will keep on...
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Now I'm walking every day for at least 15 min, usually 20. And I started Medifast again, first order comes this week or next. I have a great friend who is my health coach who knows me and who will help me do this. And I'm doing juicing at night to help my body heal. And I've lost 18 pounds in the last month.
This brings me to really what prompted all of this. A little over a month ago now I got the flu. I'd had some days off of work and went on a trip to see family. Late nights. Drinks. Not necessarily good for me food. Fun! Then I got back and was only at work for a day when I felt lousy. Lousy lousy. Headache, feverish, with all the fun of cold and flu. Sniffling, sneezing, stuffy, crampy, yeah, the whole 9 yards. I was out for a week at work and when I came back I was still only able really to eat soup and drink stuff like Gatorade and Ginger Ale. I figured, hey why not capitalize on this and just re-set my eating habits. We've been still eating pretty healthy at home, but I was back in my old habits at work and on the weekends - i.e. fast food and not moving. So that first week I lost 3 pounds and I figured it would come back with my appetite.
Except my appetite didn't come back. And I started feeling really tired and lethargic and generally just *meh*. That happened for another week with my stomach still feeling off and on like I was not done with the flu. The third week I started to exercise in the living room. Lifting weights in as many different ways as I could, 20 times each, and trying to do some sit ups to start getting my "core" back from under all that flab. By the end of that week I developed a stitch in my side. My right side. And by Saturday I was wondering if in fact my appendix was telling me it wanted to come out. Still not really hungry, no fever, but this pain in my gut. Especially if I ate anything and like a knife when I breathed in.
So I put it to the people I love and trust - my FB friends list. I got all kinds of votes - rib out from exercising (wouldn't THAT be cool I worked out SO HARD my rib popped out!), not appendicitis since the pain didn't show up when I moved my hand away, it got better actually. And then someone said "gall bladder" and I said "hmm". I know that gall bladders can act up (called "cholecystitis" for you med-types) if you eat big meals with fat and yummy/bad-for-you stuff so I thought "well this would not fit me - the biggest meal I've had in 3 weeks was a subway sandwich!" But when I looked online I found that in fact one of the markers of an attack is the pain in your upper right abdomen when you breathe in.
At the insistence of my husband and because I hadn't gone in when I had the flu earlier I decided to go to the doc. Luckily my doctor's office has a late clinic on Mondays so I went after work a week ago. And the cute doc said "yep, looks like gallbladder to me. You need an ultrasound." OK, there are at least 2 kinds of ultrasounds. The kind where they put jelly on your belly and look at your insides - usually done to look at babies - and another kind where they insert something in somewhere else and look at your insides. I have had the not-so-neat one before and I was REALLY glad to know that this was a jelly-belly one. It was cool. I went and laid on this comfy table and she put jelly on my belly, it was warm even, and I got to see all kinds of stuff! I am fascinated by what's inside my body. I really am. Not enough to be a nurse or doctor, you'll understand that in another paragraph, but enough to ask "hey, what's that?" I got to see my kidneys, pancreas, gallbladder, liver. Very easy procedure. No babies. *whew!*
Then I had to go get some blood taken. In January I'd talked to my doctor about a blood test to see about my thyroid and to make sure I'm not pushing Diabetes and I'd put off the blood test. Fortunately, or not, for me the place I had the ultrasound also did labs. So, feeling all nice and comfy after looking at my innards I went to see Dan in the lab. Poor Dan. I did warn him. I told him "look my veins are crappy and hard to stick and I am a big baby when it comes to this stuff so I hope I don't pass out on you". That should have been his cue to RUN, not walk, from his room. They have to take my blood from my hands because my veins are really really little, who knows why, I say they're smart - they're HIDING! Anyway so he gets this tiny needle in my hand and I'm staring VERY intently at a plant and breathing and thinking "I got a damn tattoo I can DO THIS". Then he pulled the needle out.
I am not sure how to precisely describe what happens to my body when I have blood drawn. Dan did a perfectly fine job. I didn't even bruise. But immediately upon removing the needle I started to sweat. And when I say "sweat" I mean run-your-ass-off-on-a-treadmill sweat. And I was pretty sure I was going to puke. So I asked for some water. I had not eaten anything and I knew that they made sure people had OJ or something after giving blood and even tho he said "wow, your blood does NOT like to come out" he did get some of my precious blood. So Dan brought me water and I sat for the next 10 minutes (perhaps 5 hours but I'm pretty sure it was 10 min) doing deep breathing, holding my head in my hands and making low moaning sounds. Not only was it extremely embarrassing for me, but it panicked poor Dan. Well maybe "panicked" isn't the right word. I would hazard a guess that probably nothing could panic that man. But anyway, 10 min later and 2 "Reader's Digest" stories later (he read them to me, probably in hopes that I would focus on the words and not pass out - I can tell you one was about Mrs. Paul's fish sticks) I was able to walk out of the office and go to my car. Where I immediately drove to Subway and got an OJ and an eggwhite flat bread breakfast sandwich.
Wow this is taking longer than I thought. So that was last Thursday. On Friday I expected the doctor to call. Nope. So I called the office and was told that my results were in but "the doctor will have to call you". This is not something a patient wants to hear. Not "oh yeah it's fine". But "we have to have the doctor call you". So Monday comes, I've been fretting all weekend and trying to pretend I'm not. I actually tried to work in the yard for a bit. I weeded for almost an hour and then stood up and realized "oh hey I'm probably going to pass out or puke". So that was the end of that.
So on Monday I get a call from the clinic. And I hear words I really had not expected to hear. "Hepatocellular disease", followed by the fantastic "fatty liver". She said "I'm not sure why it says this but it's got both on there." And I have my pen and paper and I'm writing the words and thinking "ummmmmmmm, WHAT?" and she says "and you need to make an appointment with a GI doctor." So I work that out and then hang up and stare at the words on the paper.
And look at the picture on my wall of me and my boy, only married just over a year now. Knowing I'm going to have to tell him, and I start to cry. And then I think about telling my mom and my dad and my little brother and my friends. Oh man. I really start to cry and freak out. So I texted a friend who has been there for some of my most seriously screwed up times and we both kind of let that sink in. And then I start researching online. So it turns out you don't have to be an alcoholic (which I am not, despite what my AMAZINGLY judgmental family in one area of the country seems to think - based on my posts on FACEBOOK! gah) to get liver disease. In fact of the 2 likely candidates for what's going on with me neither has to do with alcohol. One is called Non Alcoholic Steatohepatitis (NASH) and the other is the fantastically named "Fatty Liver Disease" which another friend that I texted pointed out was a harsh and rude name.
My vote is, and my guess is the Fatty Liver disease. Turns out that when your liver, which filters out everything you put in your body - from foods, to drinks, to medicines - gets too full of fat to filter, it gets inflamed. The good thing is that this is treatable and reversible. With.......diet and exercise! The bad thing is that if you let it go too long you can in fact get cirrhosis which basically means your liver won't work. So I had a few days of crying and being sad. Hubby was REALLY upset, still is actually, he's in the kitchen juicing vegetables right now to help cleanse the liver. And my awesome friends and family are also concerned.
The thing is - I don't know what the specialist is going to tell me next week. I'm guessing I'm gonna have to "give" more blood (I got a Rx for Xanax so I don't just pass right out then and there) and the only way they can really tell between these 2 diseases is a liver biopsy (yes, it's just as fun as you'd think). So I have to wait to find out.
But in the meantime this house has gone thru some major, MAJOR changes. The alcohol is gone. I love to drink. I would say I probably had 3-5 drinks on a weekend once or twice a month but on holidays? Yeah we had a tradition in my house where we "killed" a bottle of tequila on Christmas. Just the 2 of us. That's not going to happen any more. My beloved cheese is gone. I went out and bought a couple of different types of soy cheese to try. One that I unfortunately got 2 packets of is NASTY. The other's not bad. Neither is cheese. But they will have to do. I bought almond milk for things like my oatmeal and coffee (I'm NOT giving up coffee, sorry) and have been very careful about picking things out that are low to zero fat. I'm down 18 pounds since last month, and while I know not all of this is because of eating healthy I know that drinking water, juicing, cutting out sugar and fats, are all good for me. And we've been walking every day. First day was slow, I'm so tired and lethargic. But It's almost a mile. And it's SOMETHING. I'm going to bed at least 2 hours before I usually do just because I'm so tired.
And I'm choosing to say that this is going to be a positive stepping stone - a point at which we will look back and say "yeah we chose to be healthy after that". No matter what the doc says next week. I said at the beginning of this blog that I didn't want to end up having a stroke or being really sick....well.....I'm on the cusp of that. And I REFUSE to give up. Now more than ever the one day at a time mantra means something important to me. So will keep on...
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Baby Steps and Pinterest
So I've added exercise. It's pathetically sad how out of shape I am. How just the smallest bit of exercise results in, well results. But I'll take it.
I started by lying on my bed (HAHAHA, no really I found that I can't lie down on the floor and do leg lifts, my lower back is very painful) and I do 20 side leg lifts on each side. Then I lie with my arms out and do one leg at a time straight up. 20 times each. Sadly, that is something I actually feel when I get up from sitting or in the morning. But on the other hand, I can FEEL a reaction. So there's that. :)
I've added sit ups - also on the bed. I know this is cheating, but it's moving. And I do 20. And last night I started adding some arm curls. I'd dearly like to get rid of my chicken wings I'm growing. So, it's little by little. It's not running. And it's not even walking with regularity. But it's a step.
And on a completely unrelated note? I heart Pinterest. As a good friend said, it's porn for girls. I really really adore it. It's got the right amount of EVERYTHING to keep my ADD interested and I've already come up with a way to incorporate my innate love of OCD to it. :) So that's my plug, go check out pinterest.
Meanwhile did I mention I'm exercising? And still eating right. It'll come. It will come.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
I started by lying on my bed (HAHAHA, no really I found that I can't lie down on the floor and do leg lifts, my lower back is very painful) and I do 20 side leg lifts on each side. Then I lie with my arms out and do one leg at a time straight up. 20 times each. Sadly, that is something I actually feel when I get up from sitting or in the morning. But on the other hand, I can FEEL a reaction. So there's that. :)
I've added sit ups - also on the bed. I know this is cheating, but it's moving. And I do 20. And last night I started adding some arm curls. I'd dearly like to get rid of my chicken wings I'm growing. So, it's little by little. It's not running. And it's not even walking with regularity. But it's a step.
And on a completely unrelated note? I heart Pinterest. As a good friend said, it's porn for girls. I really really adore it. It's got the right amount of EVERYTHING to keep my ADD interested and I've already come up with a way to incorporate my innate love of OCD to it. :) So that's my plug, go check out pinterest.
Meanwhile did I mention I'm exercising? And still eating right. It'll come. It will come.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Sunday, January 15, 2012
progress
Yep, still 9 down. Getting used to eating this way. I've started adding some basic exercises to my day too. A good friend introduced me (via FB) to a site called pinterest and on that site (which is porn for women by the way - I had that on my laptop yesterday and my beloved 49ers on the tube and I was in HEAVEN) I found a link to a site that gives you a list of ideas of exercises for whatever body part you want. And right now I want to work on my thunder thighs.
So here's the link: http://www.divine.ca/en/fitness-and-nutrition/exercise-finder/c_266/?do=by_part&part_id=&muscle_id=13
An interesting side effect I've found on this diet - I get some seriously painful leg cramps at night when I go to low/no dairy and carb eating. Did it last year when we did this and man I woke up Saturday AND Friday morning with cramps. UGH So I'm looking into a multi-vitamin. Something I've discovered is that there are concerns for vitamins that have high IUs of Vitamin A. Linked to some cancers. The thing is - I'm eating really really good stuff, dark leafy greens etc. - so I just need to tweak whatever things (potassium?) I'm eating to cut the cramps. It's so weird because I mean I eat bananas DAILY. And that's what I was always told we had to eat when you get cramps. I read that you also need to make sure you drink enough water, so have been amping that up as well (altho I am already drinking a lot).
Anyway, feeling more clear headed. Adding some side leg raises to work on the "saddle bags" and IF I eat cheese or eggs or other stuff that I practically lived on before it's only a little bit. So we'll keep going. This is working.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
So here's the link: http://www.divine.ca/en/fitness-and-nutrition/exercise-finder/c_266/?do=by_part&part_id=&muscle_id=13
An interesting side effect I've found on this diet - I get some seriously painful leg cramps at night when I go to low/no dairy and carb eating. Did it last year when we did this and man I woke up Saturday AND Friday morning with cramps. UGH So I'm looking into a multi-vitamin. Something I've discovered is that there are concerns for vitamins that have high IUs of Vitamin A. Linked to some cancers. The thing is - I'm eating really really good stuff, dark leafy greens etc. - so I just need to tweak whatever things (potassium?) I'm eating to cut the cramps. It's so weird because I mean I eat bananas DAILY. And that's what I was always told we had to eat when you get cramps. I read that you also need to make sure you drink enough water, so have been amping that up as well (altho I am already drinking a lot).
Anyway, feeling more clear headed. Adding some side leg raises to work on the "saddle bags" and IF I eat cheese or eggs or other stuff that I practically lived on before it's only a little bit. So we'll keep going. This is working.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Friday, January 13, 2012
Better
9 pounds down. Just about 2 weeks in and I have had a few days where I had carbs (today I had a 6" flatbread veggie sandwich) but for the most part I'm sticking to the juice for breakfast (oranges, grapefruit, ginger, lemon and apples = wake up juice!!) or oatmeal with fruit and then salad and soup for lunch and either soup or stirfry and tofu for dinner. Drinking more water. Doing at least 5 min of focused exercise every day (5 min = EASY) and going to start adding another 5 min to it as of this weekend.
Yep, I stood on the scale today and there are 9 less pounds to count. I checked. 3 times. And then smiled and said "ok, that's a start"
Little by little. It will come off. And I won't be feeling like I'm depriving myself, but I feel better when I wake up. Oh, interesting thing I remembered/realized today - caffeine? It's an antidepressant for me. I had a bad bout of insomnia last night so I had to power thru 2 venti coffees today. No mochas or lattes. Coffee + cream and equals.
Yep. I can do this.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Yep, I stood on the scale today and there are 9 less pounds to count. I checked. 3 times. And then smiled and said "ok, that's a start"
Little by little. It will come off. And I won't be feeling like I'm depriving myself, but I feel better when I wake up. Oh, interesting thing I remembered/realized today - caffeine? It's an antidepressant for me. I had a bad bout of insomnia last night so I had to power thru 2 venti coffees today. No mochas or lattes. Coffee + cream and equals.
Yep. I can do this.
One day. One step. One pound at a time.
~N
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The first week
So I cheated most days last week, but I've come to think of the cheating as part of the change in my way of eating. So, by cheating I don't mean I ate at any fast food places. Nope, I took my food every day. But I did not resist a bite of egg casserole at the work potluck thing. I crave protein.
But I didn't eat fast food and didn't drink soda. And I made myself get up and move around the office more. No marathons or anything, but I ate healthy stuff every day. Most mornings I had a fruit juice and then for lunch would have whatever leftovers we had from the night before, and a salad. Left overs were either veggie stirfry with tofu or veggie soup.
So it's been a week and I'm 5 pounds down. Just from changing it up, eating a ton of veggies and hardly any stuff like bread or pasta (or cheese). The back feels better this week - Wii Yoga for a little bit helped. Stretching and moving and drinking more water. I feel better. Long way to go, but it's a step.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
But I didn't eat fast food and didn't drink soda. And I made myself get up and move around the office more. No marathons or anything, but I ate healthy stuff every day. Most mornings I had a fruit juice and then for lunch would have whatever leftovers we had from the night before, and a salad. Left overs were either veggie stirfry with tofu or veggie soup.
So it's been a week and I'm 5 pounds down. Just from changing it up, eating a ton of veggies and hardly any stuff like bread or pasta (or cheese). The back feels better this week - Wii Yoga for a little bit helped. Stretching and moving and drinking more water. I feel better. Long way to go, but it's a step.
One step. One day. One pound at a time.
~N
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Slide
I'm not sure when it started but I began to notice it about 2 months ago. I was sitting more and more at my job. Mainly because at this point there are no people at my work that I am friends with. At least ones that I would interact with on the job. I still have a good friend that is employed there but she's on a medical leave (waves to you know who you are) and is not sure that she'll have a job to come back to. And I am friends with a guy that does IT in my dept but he and I don't interact at work - as a rule it's always away from work.
So starting in about September I began to have less and less friends/support at the place where I spend long hours of my day. And while there were other changes that were good (boss and her boss are GONE) the people that came in place of those who I had relied on were so, ARE so completely lacking in depth that I just sit and work and go home.
This has lead to a very bad habit. Namely, doing my level best to get all the work done so I can get the hell out of there. And that means that I sit. And don't move. All day long. Not only is this very bad for me physically (I have had days where I get up at the end of the day and realize I haven't gone pee all day) but emotionally it's been isolating. And THAT is a step towards depression. I am well aware of it. And I didn't have a clear understanding of where I was in the process until about a month ago.
I found myself sleeping more, eating more comfort foods (see: sugar, cheese bread) and more irritable, short with people that matter, short with people in general and crying. A lot. The holidays are already a sore subject in my house. I love them. They take me back to a simpler time (i.e. a time when I was less aware) and I get lost in the lights, sounds, smells etc. My husband, on the other hand HATES them. Thinks that they are contrived and superficial. Hates them. We actually had a fight on Christmas morning that threatened to ruin the entire day for me and left me in waves of tears. (We decided to hit a "re-set" button tho and the day ended up being exactly what I wanted.)
On New Year's Eve a friend, probably our closest friend, came for an unexpected visit and he and hubby started watching a show called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". I came in in the middle of it and immediately got irritated/defensive and watched it begrudgingly. It's a show about 2 men, more really but focuses on 2. Who used a combination of juicing and exercise to lose a TON of weight. The guy that really got to me was about my age and was a trucker. Sitting all day long. And MUCH bigger than I am. He started out at over 400 pounds and by the end of the documentary was in shape and in the 170s. Why was I defensive? Because I didn't want to watch something that would help motivate me to work on the very thing that gets to me most. I wanted to watch something that took me far away from the idea of being fat and feeling like crap.
But we watched it and the next day we started a re-set button of a different kind. We already have a juicer (it was hubby's from long ago) and we went to the grocery store and bought a TON of fruits and vegetables and started trying to make new habits (again). I cheated the first few days. We talked about how to make this a long-lasting change. Because we did this a year ago - on the "Eat to Live" diet - which is mainly the same thing, fruits and vegetables, no salt (or as low as possible) no sugar, no cheese (*whimper*) and really no carbs like pasta etc. And we lost some weight but then we started getting company and excuses piled up for eating stuff we knew would not be good. And it all came back.
So, I'm making what I hope to be a new habit, something I can use long-term. I can so readily relate to the poor truck driver. I know that I am happier when I'm healthier. And I know that part of my depression - a MAJOR part - is that I feel like crap. My back has been out and my hip hurts (HIP HURTS - seriously? What am I? 60?) and constant pain does not work for me. I started this week adding little bits of yoga. Has to be little bits because at first I was so completely stiff and in pain that every move I made put me into spasm.
So it's back to small steps. I did juicing for breakfast most of the days this week - apple, orange, ginger, carrot (I learned the hard way that you should NOT put a banana in a juicer.....it spits all the yummy stuff out the other end of the juicer....) and for lunch I brought stuff to make salad (lettuce, tomatos, onion) and I used those handy spritzer bottles for vinaigrette dressing (more coverage, less dressing). At night we had either stir fry (usually a bunch of veggies, and tofu made without oil and with lots of Sri Ra Cha) or soup - veggies, tofu and lots of water. Usually there was enough so that I could take left overs with me to work with the salad. And I drank a lot of water. No soda (I'd been drinking diet Dr P for a while) and only a couple of cups of coffee. And while I still don't interact with people at work like I used to (likely never will) I am making myself get up once an hour (or so) and walk around the building, even if it's inside. And I did some Wii Yoga (VERY basic).
So it's been a week and my back and hip don't hurt as much. I'm refusing to step on the scales till tomorrow, to see if I've made a change yet. The thing is, I know that this is all in my own hands. And it is do-able. I'm tired of feeling like crap. And I'm doing something about it. No time like the present.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
So starting in about September I began to have less and less friends/support at the place where I spend long hours of my day. And while there were other changes that were good (boss and her boss are GONE) the people that came in place of those who I had relied on were so, ARE so completely lacking in depth that I just sit and work and go home.
This has lead to a very bad habit. Namely, doing my level best to get all the work done so I can get the hell out of there. And that means that I sit. And don't move. All day long. Not only is this very bad for me physically (I have had days where I get up at the end of the day and realize I haven't gone pee all day) but emotionally it's been isolating. And THAT is a step towards depression. I am well aware of it. And I didn't have a clear understanding of where I was in the process until about a month ago.
I found myself sleeping more, eating more comfort foods (see: sugar, cheese bread) and more irritable, short with people that matter, short with people in general and crying. A lot. The holidays are already a sore subject in my house. I love them. They take me back to a simpler time (i.e. a time when I was less aware) and I get lost in the lights, sounds, smells etc. My husband, on the other hand HATES them. Thinks that they are contrived and superficial. Hates them. We actually had a fight on Christmas morning that threatened to ruin the entire day for me and left me in waves of tears. (We decided to hit a "re-set" button tho and the day ended up being exactly what I wanted.)
On New Year's Eve a friend, probably our closest friend, came for an unexpected visit and he and hubby started watching a show called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". I came in in the middle of it and immediately got irritated/defensive and watched it begrudgingly. It's a show about 2 men, more really but focuses on 2. Who used a combination of juicing and exercise to lose a TON of weight. The guy that really got to me was about my age and was a trucker. Sitting all day long. And MUCH bigger than I am. He started out at over 400 pounds and by the end of the documentary was in shape and in the 170s. Why was I defensive? Because I didn't want to watch something that would help motivate me to work on the very thing that gets to me most. I wanted to watch something that took me far away from the idea of being fat and feeling like crap.
But we watched it and the next day we started a re-set button of a different kind. We already have a juicer (it was hubby's from long ago) and we went to the grocery store and bought a TON of fruits and vegetables and started trying to make new habits (again). I cheated the first few days. We talked about how to make this a long-lasting change. Because we did this a year ago - on the "Eat to Live" diet - which is mainly the same thing, fruits and vegetables, no salt (or as low as possible) no sugar, no cheese (*whimper*) and really no carbs like pasta etc. And we lost some weight but then we started getting company and excuses piled up for eating stuff we knew would not be good. And it all came back.
So, I'm making what I hope to be a new habit, something I can use long-term. I can so readily relate to the poor truck driver. I know that I am happier when I'm healthier. And I know that part of my depression - a MAJOR part - is that I feel like crap. My back has been out and my hip hurts (HIP HURTS - seriously? What am I? 60?) and constant pain does not work for me. I started this week adding little bits of yoga. Has to be little bits because at first I was so completely stiff and in pain that every move I made put me into spasm.
So it's back to small steps. I did juicing for breakfast most of the days this week - apple, orange, ginger, carrot (I learned the hard way that you should NOT put a banana in a juicer.....it spits all the yummy stuff out the other end of the juicer....) and for lunch I brought stuff to make salad (lettuce, tomatos, onion) and I used those handy spritzer bottles for vinaigrette dressing (more coverage, less dressing). At night we had either stir fry (usually a bunch of veggies, and tofu made without oil and with lots of Sri Ra Cha) or soup - veggies, tofu and lots of water. Usually there was enough so that I could take left overs with me to work with the salad. And I drank a lot of water. No soda (I'd been drinking diet Dr P for a while) and only a couple of cups of coffee. And while I still don't interact with people at work like I used to (likely never will) I am making myself get up once an hour (or so) and walk around the building, even if it's inside. And I did some Wii Yoga (VERY basic).
So it's been a week and my back and hip don't hurt as much. I'm refusing to step on the scales till tomorrow, to see if I've made a change yet. The thing is, I know that this is all in my own hands. And it is do-able. I'm tired of feeling like crap. And I'm doing something about it. No time like the present.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
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