Yeah, I was a total slug yesterday. Spent the entire day in my pajamas. Showered and put more PJs back on. I was tired and had no drive to do anything whatsoever. So I sat in my chair and watched Contact and did my taxes. Totally unmotivated to do anything. I did weigh myself and I am at minus 34 pounds now. 6 more to go to my latest goal. So, that's good! But I still found myself in the familiar territory of the blues. I used to live there, wallow really, but things are a lot different now and so I just visit from time to time.
Today I had my first cup of coffee in 2 weeks and I'm gonna just say this: yeah caffeine may be bad for us but it's also GOOD for me. I immediately felt better, more able to focus and happier. So, the diet book states that you should only have 1 cup of coffee per day if you MUST. And evidently I MUST. I'm ok with that. I can do it without sugar (maybe throw in some Equal? and some soy milk) but I will have 1 cup a day. And I'm ok with that.
Still staying well within my weight watchers points and to the diet. I can see a big help in the increase I've made of vegetables and fruit. And I can tell you that I will add limited carbs such as bread and some dairy (i.e. eggs and cheese) back after the 6 weeks of "strict adherence" but I think I can handle not adding salt or sugar and staying away from the other white stuffs that are so bad for us (starchy things like potatos - high glycemic index - white bread, mayo, oil, etc).
So evidently, for me, caffeine isn't just a stimulant, it's an antidepressant. And I'm not going to step away from that any time soon. Sorry health food people. Sometimes you just need a warm cup of fragrant coffee.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
the weekend
So, yesterday was a killer day at work and I came home and drank a few drinks. It'd been a couple of weeks since I had anything to drink and 2 drinks and 1 shot did it. Otherwise I was good and stuck to my new dietary plans. We had game night and had home-made pho for dinner with cabbage (green) instead of noodles. I think that red cabbage might have been better but it was still good. And filling. And good for us. And for dessert we had apples and bananas cut up with little tiny dollops of natural peanut butter. We laughed because our friend that regularly comes over was here for game night and this was his first time over since we've been on this new diet. He didn't mind at all.
This morning we had tofu scramble with a veggie griller and onions in it and a bowl of oatmeal with apple and cinnamon with a little bit of honey. And we've been re-arranging and cleaning the house (points for exercise!) and it's big cleaning so everything will feel an loook better when we're done. It's quite cold outside so haven't ventured out but now I have to say that the new configuration in the living room does lend itself nicely to some early morning yoga....
Well, I'm hungry, gonna go make some beans and veggies.
Hope each of you is able to relax this weekend and eat something good for you. I guarantee you it'll make you feel better (especially if you put peanut butter on it). ;)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
This morning we had tofu scramble with a veggie griller and onions in it and a bowl of oatmeal with apple and cinnamon with a little bit of honey. And we've been re-arranging and cleaning the house (points for exercise!) and it's big cleaning so everything will feel an loook better when we're done. It's quite cold outside so haven't ventured out but now I have to say that the new configuration in the living room does lend itself nicely to some early morning yoga....
Well, I'm hungry, gonna go make some beans and veggies.
Hope each of you is able to relax this weekend and eat something good for you. I guarantee you it'll make you feel better (especially if you put peanut butter on it). ;)
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Thursday, February 24, 2011
snow and cabbage
I love snow. I cannot overstate how much I love snow. It makes everything seem clean and tidy. I don't know how else to describe it. Peaceful.
It snowed today. The most it's snowed all year. That's not really saying much but still, it was there. It's all gone now but I loved every minute of it.
Because of the weather I focused on work and didn't take the time to go walk outside. Too bad really, I missed a nice walk I'm sure. Still making a new habit to move. I will make that habit. I WILL.
I ate good things today. All good things. And I feel good tonight. I had a banana and oatmeal (apple and cinnamon flavor from Medifast, not as good as the maple syrup flavor) and an apple. I usually get Fujis. They are crisp and flavorful. I can't stand the yellow or golden delicious, anything mushy = ick. I had a small handful of almonds, no salt, and 2 dates. My mom used to call them "nature's candy" and I didn't believe her. Lately I've been reminded that they sure are sweet and good.
Lunch was the rest of last night's dinner with some kidney beans thrown in. (Not my favorite beans but not bad.) Because of the snow this morning we car-pooled and I had less time to get ready so I didn't grab another snack but it was ok, one of the departments had a potluck breakfast and someone brought hard-boiled eggs. Yes it was supposed to be a dairy-free 6 weeks but I wanted them. And I ate them. Three of them. And they were good.
Tonight we had red cabbage, my new favorite ingredient. Sliced up with onions and tofu, with a tablespoon or 2 of balsamic vinaigrette. Sauteed. Served with fresh bean curd sprouts, some fresh basil, a squeeze of lime and Sri ra cha. Y U M. Y U M. Seriously yum. And filling. Kinda like Pho without the broth.
Dessert was an apple and a banana cut up with a dab of natural peanut butter. Seriously, we're beginning to feel like hippies!!! Actually I was brought up as a vegetarian but a lot of the veggie proteins are so full of sodium and preservatives that I'm pretty sure when I die you'll be able to find both Big Franks and Stripples somewhere in my stomach.
And I'm going to bed but not feeling like I've deprived myself. Now, if only I'd feel more like getting up at 5 or 5:30 to do some WiiYoga or something....
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
It snowed today. The most it's snowed all year. That's not really saying much but still, it was there. It's all gone now but I loved every minute of it.
Because of the weather I focused on work and didn't take the time to go walk outside. Too bad really, I missed a nice walk I'm sure. Still making a new habit to move. I will make that habit. I WILL.
I ate good things today. All good things. And I feel good tonight. I had a banana and oatmeal (apple and cinnamon flavor from Medifast, not as good as the maple syrup flavor) and an apple. I usually get Fujis. They are crisp and flavorful. I can't stand the yellow or golden delicious, anything mushy = ick. I had a small handful of almonds, no salt, and 2 dates. My mom used to call them "nature's candy" and I didn't believe her. Lately I've been reminded that they sure are sweet and good.
Lunch was the rest of last night's dinner with some kidney beans thrown in. (Not my favorite beans but not bad.) Because of the snow this morning we car-pooled and I had less time to get ready so I didn't grab another snack but it was ok, one of the departments had a potluck breakfast and someone brought hard-boiled eggs. Yes it was supposed to be a dairy-free 6 weeks but I wanted them. And I ate them. Three of them. And they were good.
Tonight we had red cabbage, my new favorite ingredient. Sliced up with onions and tofu, with a tablespoon or 2 of balsamic vinaigrette. Sauteed. Served with fresh bean curd sprouts, some fresh basil, a squeeze of lime and Sri ra cha. Y U M. Y U M. Seriously yum. And filling. Kinda like Pho without the broth.
Dessert was an apple and a banana cut up with a dab of natural peanut butter. Seriously, we're beginning to feel like hippies!!! Actually I was brought up as a vegetarian but a lot of the veggie proteins are so full of sodium and preservatives that I'm pretty sure when I die you'll be able to find both Big Franks and Stripples somewhere in my stomach.
And I'm going to bed but not feeling like I've deprived myself. Now, if only I'd feel more like getting up at 5 or 5:30 to do some WiiYoga or something....
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Steps
So today I made the time and went for a brisk walk in the brisk winter air. It was lovely and I only wish I'd taken the time to do it again. But hey, that was my goal and I did it. yay me! And I stepped on the scale again today...not tellin the number till weigh-in day but it moved again. I am ever-closer to that minus 40 that's my next goal.
The diet is getting easier to follow and I'm not sneaking any more cheese. (boy did my stomach punish me for that....how on earth did I ever eat cheese for so long??)
So today's menu was the banana and oatmeal (by the way, in the months that I didn't really blog on here I'd fallen back into a bad habit of going to McDonald's for breakfast on the way to work. I would get a sausage mcmuffin without the sausage - vegetarian - and an oatmeal. That racked up the points.) anyway, so yeah, my lemon ginger (caffeine free, still no coffee in over a week and no headache) tea.
Lunch was left-overs from last night's yummy stir fry of veggies and tofu plus a can of low-salt black beans, can of corn (which I regretted when I entered the points...that's a bit of starch) and 1/2 block of tofu. I am getting to LOVE tofu. Yes it's bland. But it can taste like pretty much anything. And it's filling. I don't feel deprived when I eat it in stuff. So I took all this stuff with some of my Sriracha hot sauce and nuked it into a warm soupy filling thing and then had an apple for dessert.
I took a Smartwater bottle that we had here (empty) and filled it with cold water and downed 1 litre of good water and had a cucumber and an orange (no salt for the cuke, just the Mrs. Dash substitute) for a snack mid-afternoon.
Dinner tonight was sooooooooo good. (I don't cook, I clean - let's be honest here) so we had steamed cauliflower (I had to put some of the Sriracha on it, I really had to....that stuff just cries out for cheese!) and the only thing that I haven't liked so far were the collard greens. blech. Maybe they need to be cut up or something but he just put them in to steam in a steamer and then we were to eat them. I found mine to be too chewy and well, a bit like grass I guess. So if any of you out there have a great collard greens recipe - send it on over!! Anyway, the main dish and the reason my mouth is still watering: 1 mango, chopped up; 1 tomato, chopped up; 1/2 (or less) yellow onion; handful of green onions; 1block of firm tofu, chopped; 1 can of low-salt (because we can't find no salt and I'm ok with that) black beans, drained; and 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar. Put into a bit fry pan or wok and cook until bubbly and hot. No extra sauces. Not even any garlic or ginger tonight. And it was so good!! There was enough that I have a container for lunch tomorrow. Mmmm. Dessert was an apple with no-salt added peanut butter (Adams, crunchy). And yeah I feel full but I know that it's all been good for me! (ok except for the oil in that peanut butter but I wasn't in the mood to grind our own)
Yup, if you are at all interested in eating vegetarian foods and are a creative cook (or live with one) I highly recommend this Eat to Live diet. This is week 2 and I do not feel like I'm depriving myself.
Tomorrow's goal? Take that 2nd walk. It's "supposed to snow" so we'll see. I would love a walk in the snow!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
The diet is getting easier to follow and I'm not sneaking any more cheese. (boy did my stomach punish me for that....how on earth did I ever eat cheese for so long??)
So today's menu was the banana and oatmeal (by the way, in the months that I didn't really blog on here I'd fallen back into a bad habit of going to McDonald's for breakfast on the way to work. I would get a sausage mcmuffin without the sausage - vegetarian - and an oatmeal. That racked up the points.) anyway, so yeah, my lemon ginger (caffeine free, still no coffee in over a week and no headache) tea.
Lunch was left-overs from last night's yummy stir fry of veggies and tofu plus a can of low-salt black beans, can of corn (which I regretted when I entered the points...that's a bit of starch) and 1/2 block of tofu. I am getting to LOVE tofu. Yes it's bland. But it can taste like pretty much anything. And it's filling. I don't feel deprived when I eat it in stuff. So I took all this stuff with some of my Sriracha hot sauce and nuked it into a warm soupy filling thing and then had an apple for dessert.
I took a Smartwater bottle that we had here (empty) and filled it with cold water and downed 1 litre of good water and had a cucumber and an orange (no salt for the cuke, just the Mrs. Dash substitute) for a snack mid-afternoon.
Dinner tonight was sooooooooo good. (I don't cook, I clean - let's be honest here) so we had steamed cauliflower (I had to put some of the Sriracha on it, I really had to....that stuff just cries out for cheese!) and the only thing that I haven't liked so far were the collard greens. blech. Maybe they need to be cut up or something but he just put them in to steam in a steamer and then we were to eat them. I found mine to be too chewy and well, a bit like grass I guess. So if any of you out there have a great collard greens recipe - send it on over!! Anyway, the main dish and the reason my mouth is still watering: 1 mango, chopped up; 1 tomato, chopped up; 1/2 (or less) yellow onion; handful of green onions; 1block of firm tofu, chopped; 1 can of low-salt (because we can't find no salt and I'm ok with that) black beans, drained; and 2 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar. Put into a bit fry pan or wok and cook until bubbly and hot. No extra sauces. Not even any garlic or ginger tonight. And it was so good!! There was enough that I have a container for lunch tomorrow. Mmmm. Dessert was an apple with no-salt added peanut butter (Adams, crunchy). And yeah I feel full but I know that it's all been good for me! (ok except for the oil in that peanut butter but I wasn't in the mood to grind our own)
Yup, if you are at all interested in eating vegetarian foods and are a creative cook (or live with one) I highly recommend this Eat to Live diet. This is week 2 and I do not feel like I'm depriving myself.
Tomorrow's goal? Take that 2nd walk. It's "supposed to snow" so we'll see. I would love a walk in the snow!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Me and a Mouse
Today I couldn't help myself gave in and ate 3 slices of swiss cheese. They were soooooooo good. But now my tummy tells me "you ate something that isn't good" and I am finding that I'm not able to eat cheese like I used to. Of course that's a good thing given how much cheese I used to eat. But I missed it's creamy, tasty goodness. Not as much as I'm happy to see that scale moving tho...
So, tonight we had a fantastic stirfry (still only using water and just the liquids from the veggies) of eggplant, mushrooms, onion, basil, garlic, tofu and canned tomatos. Put some Sri Ra Cha (which has some sodium in it but not very much) on it and ate that right up. And along with my now standard fare of banana & oatmeal, apple, orange, baby carrots, black beans and left-overs from last night (Pho and steamed broccoli) I'm still under for my daily points.
What continues to be my problem is getting up and moving. Work can take so much focus away from taking time out for me. I HAVE to get up and walk twice a day. I get 2 breaks and a lunch and I almost always sit at my desk (or go to the bathroom) for them....SAD. I will make that my focus. That and continuing the veggies. Cheese may get a taste every week or so but no more daily snarfing of many different kinds of fabulous cheese.
Sunday is weigh-in day. I'm hoping for more progress.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
So, tonight we had a fantastic stirfry (still only using water and just the liquids from the veggies) of eggplant, mushrooms, onion, basil, garlic, tofu and canned tomatos. Put some Sri Ra Cha (which has some sodium in it but not very much) on it and ate that right up. And along with my now standard fare of banana & oatmeal, apple, orange, baby carrots, black beans and left-overs from last night (Pho and steamed broccoli) I'm still under for my daily points.
What continues to be my problem is getting up and moving. Work can take so much focus away from taking time out for me. I HAVE to get up and walk twice a day. I get 2 breaks and a lunch and I almost always sit at my desk (or go to the bathroom) for them....SAD. I will make that my focus. That and continuing the veggies. Cheese may get a taste every week or so but no more daily snarfing of many different kinds of fabulous cheese.
Sunday is weigh-in day. I'm hoping for more progress.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Week 2 veggies - 2/21/11
well, I'm certainly a creature of habit so I've gotten a ritual started - banana with medifast oatmeal (very thin oatmeal, not as filling as actual oats but still good, an orange, a fuji apple, a can of black beans with no-salt seasoning with some veggie or avocado, herbal tea, baby carrots and at night I get a big hot meal. Tonight we had the pho that he's been making without broth (yes it's bland, but if you put the sri ra cha hot sauce on it it's great) just water, green onions, tofu, mushrooms, cilantro, basil, and the gluten-free noodles (warning: the packaging they come in is the nastiest smelling stuff EVER, but if you drain it out and wash the noodles they are great). And we steamed broccoli with lemon juice and some generic Mrs. Dash. (And I sprayed some I Can't Believe it's not Butter on mine)
I will tell you I want a grilled cheese sandwich right now. But that's probably because the comedian we're watching just said grilled cheese. Mmmm. Yeah but I still did it. And I will keep doing it. Because I know this stuff is good for me. They say to do 6 weeks of this and then start looking at adding a few of the other things back in, but only in small amounts.
Now I need to get my ass out of bed when he leaves for work at 5:30am and come to the livingroom and try that yoga stuff.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
I will tell you I want a grilled cheese sandwich right now. But that's probably because the comedian we're watching just said grilled cheese. Mmmm. Yeah but I still did it. And I will keep doing it. Because I know this stuff is good for me. They say to do 6 weeks of this and then start looking at adding a few of the other things back in, but only in small amounts.
Now I need to get my ass out of bed when he leaves for work at 5:30am and come to the livingroom and try that yoga stuff.
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Sunday, February 20, 2011
veggies, the down-side
so, I'm down 32 pounds. :) That's a new number. Yay for that!!
Now let's talk about this diet we've been on for a week now. I haven't had any caffeine, no coffee or anything for an ENTIRE week. This, from a coffee lover since college. And if I did have the headache it would have been on the night my cat died and I was already feeling like crap so I just let it go. We've been eating plant based foods and beans and fruit, basically a very vegetarian diet for a week and if I do say so we did a helluvajob for just going cold turkey at this. A week ago I was all about bread for sandwiches and cheese for cheese. But this last week I had 2 pieces of bread the whole week and zero cheese until today. Every day I had fruit and oatmeal for breakfast and beans and some sort of vegetables for lunch. Dinner was usually a big salad (and I mean BIG) and some sort of veggies and tofu.
The downsides of this diet aren't too many, we both feel quite good after a week of this. Things smell better when you're not using salt of any kind and trying to find low to no-salt foods to eat. You get the real tastes of the foods this way. However I scared the crud out of the new hubby on Friday morning when I woke up at 1:30am with a horrendous leg cramp that lasted at least 2 minutes! The next day my lower back started to really hurt me and so on Saturday we went and bought some vitamins and now in addition to my multi-vitamin I am taking a calcium pill and a vitamin D pill. Both things that I probably got at least some in all that cheese I was used to consuming.
The other downside? There's just no nice way to put it - you can call it gas, flatus, flatulence but it's a fart. And I'm sorry but I do NOT understand why food that is supposedly so great for us would cause our bodies to expel these noxious vapors. I'm telling you that where it not for the magical pill called Beano (as in "take Beano and there'll be no gas". No I am not making that up.) we would be single-handedly responsible for depleting the ozone layer around our house. Good LORD. OK, TMI. I know but I'm sharing this with you so that if you too decide to join this very good-for-you diet regime you will please, for the love of all of those that must sit near you, go to the store and stock up on these things. Calcium and Vitamin D help fend off those horrible Charlie horses that seem to come always in the middle of the night (and cause mild heart-attacks in those that are trying to sleep nearby) and Beano. Well Beano does it's job.
So, today we decided that we were hungry enough that we'd try to eat something that was decidedly NOT on our newly espoused diet. Papa Murphy's veggie gourmet delight thin crust pizza. We usually get one of these (not the thin crust) once or twice a month. And I can tell you that while it was still really cheesy and good, it still didn't taste and feel as great as the home-made Pho' that we had first. (no broth, just the fresh ingredients) For dessert we took some frozen berries that I'd bought oh about a YEAR ago to make smoothies out of and added silken tofu and put them in my new Magic Bullet blender system with some freshly squeezed orange juice and made yummy shakes. I know it sounds kinda like we're turning into hippies. But we both want to be healthy and honestly? I haven't been hungry or really craved anything except for cheese and that pizza tonight was too heavy for me (and it was very thin).
And that's where we stand about 6 months in, I'm down 32 pounds and trying new stuff. I'll always be taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Now let's talk about this diet we've been on for a week now. I haven't had any caffeine, no coffee or anything for an ENTIRE week. This, from a coffee lover since college. And if I did have the headache it would have been on the night my cat died and I was already feeling like crap so I just let it go. We've been eating plant based foods and beans and fruit, basically a very vegetarian diet for a week and if I do say so we did a helluvajob for just going cold turkey at this. A week ago I was all about bread for sandwiches and cheese for cheese. But this last week I had 2 pieces of bread the whole week and zero cheese until today. Every day I had fruit and oatmeal for breakfast and beans and some sort of vegetables for lunch. Dinner was usually a big salad (and I mean BIG) and some sort of veggies and tofu.
The downsides of this diet aren't too many, we both feel quite good after a week of this. Things smell better when you're not using salt of any kind and trying to find low to no-salt foods to eat. You get the real tastes of the foods this way. However I scared the crud out of the new hubby on Friday morning when I woke up at 1:30am with a horrendous leg cramp that lasted at least 2 minutes! The next day my lower back started to really hurt me and so on Saturday we went and bought some vitamins and now in addition to my multi-vitamin I am taking a calcium pill and a vitamin D pill. Both things that I probably got at least some in all that cheese I was used to consuming.
The other downside? There's just no nice way to put it - you can call it gas, flatus, flatulence but it's a fart. And I'm sorry but I do NOT understand why food that is supposedly so great for us would cause our bodies to expel these noxious vapors. I'm telling you that where it not for the magical pill called Beano (as in "take Beano and there'll be no gas". No I am not making that up.) we would be single-handedly responsible for depleting the ozone layer around our house. Good LORD. OK, TMI. I know but I'm sharing this with you so that if you too decide to join this very good-for-you diet regime you will please, for the love of all of those that must sit near you, go to the store and stock up on these things. Calcium and Vitamin D help fend off those horrible Charlie horses that seem to come always in the middle of the night (and cause mild heart-attacks in those that are trying to sleep nearby) and Beano. Well Beano does it's job.
So, today we decided that we were hungry enough that we'd try to eat something that was decidedly NOT on our newly espoused diet. Papa Murphy's veggie gourmet delight thin crust pizza. We usually get one of these (not the thin crust) once or twice a month. And I can tell you that while it was still really cheesy and good, it still didn't taste and feel as great as the home-made Pho' that we had first. (no broth, just the fresh ingredients) For dessert we took some frozen berries that I'd bought oh about a YEAR ago to make smoothies out of and added silken tofu and put them in my new Magic Bullet blender system with some freshly squeezed orange juice and made yummy shakes. I know it sounds kinda like we're turning into hippies. But we both want to be healthy and honestly? I haven't been hungry or really craved anything except for cheese and that pizza tonight was too heavy for me (and it was very thin).
And that's where we stand about 6 months in, I'm down 32 pounds and trying new stuff. I'll always be taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Loss
Ok, this will be a post that covers both positive and painful things. I'm not even sure I'll be able to get through the painful part but I'll try.
On Tuesday, the day after Valentine's Day I had to put my cat to sleep. I had her since she was 8 weeks old and when she died she was nearly 13. It was one of the most singularly painful experiences I've ever had. 6 years ago I had to put my other cat, then 13, to sleep and I didn't know what to expect. It was awful. This time I knew and it was worse. I know it was the right thing to do but even now my eyes fill with tears and my stomach clenches at the thought. And there is a part of that day I wish never to revisit. Ever. I came home afterwards and I grieved, from the bottom of my soul and the tips of my toes I keened (look it up) for her. And the taste in my mouth changed for some weird reason (I have a couple of theories but no clue, it was really odd and disgusting) and I couldn't eat. I needed to. I was dehydrated and hadn't eaten much all day but I couldn't even eat more than a bite of toast. The only thing I did manage to eat was a cinnamon jolly rancher. (odd, I know) And then later I started to send it all back up. Yup. My body flat out purged itself from the pain and everything in it. I say now that true love holds you when you cry and holds the bucket when you puke. I'll never do that again. And I'll miss her forever.
And on Sunday before all this started my cousins were visiting and told us about a diet they've been on called "Eat to Live" (which in a hysterically funny nod to Dr Freud I accidentally called the "Live to Eat" diet on accident) which basically fits right into weightwatchers. I had gained back 10 pounds, actually more like 11 since December and I was very disgusted. So with the new change (see paradigm shift post) we decided to try this diet. It's a plant based mainly vegetarian diet. And I've been on it since Monday (bought the book Sunday and shopped that night) and it hasn't been hard.....and I'm back to where I was - down 30.5 pounds. Lost all the stuff I'd gained.
Basically it's a "eat stuff that's good for you" diet. Novel concept. I know. So like today I had a banana, some of the medifast oatmeal (the only medifast stuff I can handle anymore) an apple, an orange, some baby carrots, some almonds, some dates (yes, they look like bugs but they are SO YUMMY) a can of black beans with a sweet red pepper. And tonight we had cabbage and cucumber salad with lemon juice (which a week ago you'd have had to hold me down to even try much less gobble up) and stir fry with mushrooms, red pepper, ginger, tofu marinated in balsamic, onions and avocado. I haven't had caffeine since either Saturday or Sunday (not sure which) and if I had the headache it was lost in the grief of Tuesday night. I've been drinking caffeine free lemon-ginger tea and lots of water.
And I haven't tried it again since Reilly (my cat) but I did get out the yoga tape last week. I'm also planning to go with one of my best friends to the gym. That'll probably start in March (see: budget and trying to pay down big bills so we can go explore the world) but it's going to happen.
I woke up the morning that I turned 40 with a thought in my head that said "this year you will say 'yes' to new experiences". And I've been going through some incredible changes in the short time since that day. And I'm back to where I was in the weight-loss journey (in a good way). Some loss is good. Some hurts like hell. Either way I'm going to keep saying yes and taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
On Tuesday, the day after Valentine's Day I had to put my cat to sleep. I had her since she was 8 weeks old and when she died she was nearly 13. It was one of the most singularly painful experiences I've ever had. 6 years ago I had to put my other cat, then 13, to sleep and I didn't know what to expect. It was awful. This time I knew and it was worse. I know it was the right thing to do but even now my eyes fill with tears and my stomach clenches at the thought. And there is a part of that day I wish never to revisit. Ever. I came home afterwards and I grieved, from the bottom of my soul and the tips of my toes I keened (look it up) for her. And the taste in my mouth changed for some weird reason (I have a couple of theories but no clue, it was really odd and disgusting) and I couldn't eat. I needed to. I was dehydrated and hadn't eaten much all day but I couldn't even eat more than a bite of toast. The only thing I did manage to eat was a cinnamon jolly rancher. (odd, I know) And then later I started to send it all back up. Yup. My body flat out purged itself from the pain and everything in it. I say now that true love holds you when you cry and holds the bucket when you puke. I'll never do that again. And I'll miss her forever.
And on Sunday before all this started my cousins were visiting and told us about a diet they've been on called "Eat to Live" (which in a hysterically funny nod to Dr Freud I accidentally called the "Live to Eat" diet on accident) which basically fits right into weightwatchers. I had gained back 10 pounds, actually more like 11 since December and I was very disgusted. So with the new change (see paradigm shift post) we decided to try this diet. It's a plant based mainly vegetarian diet. And I've been on it since Monday (bought the book Sunday and shopped that night) and it hasn't been hard.....and I'm back to where I was - down 30.5 pounds. Lost all the stuff I'd gained.
Basically it's a "eat stuff that's good for you" diet. Novel concept. I know. So like today I had a banana, some of the medifast oatmeal (the only medifast stuff I can handle anymore) an apple, an orange, some baby carrots, some almonds, some dates (yes, they look like bugs but they are SO YUMMY) a can of black beans with a sweet red pepper. And tonight we had cabbage and cucumber salad with lemon juice (which a week ago you'd have had to hold me down to even try much less gobble up) and stir fry with mushrooms, red pepper, ginger, tofu marinated in balsamic, onions and avocado. I haven't had caffeine since either Saturday or Sunday (not sure which) and if I had the headache it was lost in the grief of Tuesday night. I've been drinking caffeine free lemon-ginger tea and lots of water.
And I haven't tried it again since Reilly (my cat) but I did get out the yoga tape last week. I'm also planning to go with one of my best friends to the gym. That'll probably start in March (see: budget and trying to pay down big bills so we can go explore the world) but it's going to happen.
I woke up the morning that I turned 40 with a thought in my head that said "this year you will say 'yes' to new experiences". And I've been going through some incredible changes in the short time since that day. And I'm back to where I was in the weight-loss journey (in a good way). Some loss is good. Some hurts like hell. Either way I'm going to keep saying yes and taking it
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Paradigm Shift 2.0
ok campers are you ready for the post about how my life changed? And I'm not talking a shift of say 15 degrees or so, we're talking significant - 90 degree turn here. And it's not just that I'm 40 now, as of a week now. No, it's bigger than anything so far - as much as I will ever be or ever want to be I am....married.
Yup you read it right. I went on vacation the day after my 40th birthday, after having a fanTASTIC party with friends and family and dancing (who knows how many calories I burned but I was SORE for days and it was so much fun). It was beautiful. It was the reception I would have asked for had I gotten married and been traditional. Instead I went on a vacation with my roommate (yup, he's The One) and our best friend and on the 2nd day something amazing happened. The details would take too long to enter here but we experienced a sense of love, complete and overwhelming and the vows we said there with our friend as witness were as lasting as I ever need. For the rest of forever.
Coming home was odd, since we already live together. Everything was the same, the cats were happy we were home, but everything is different. Will take some adjusting, but guess what I did this morning? (no, not THAT you dirty-minded people, that's personal) We walked up heart attack hill. No passing out or anything, went straight on to Starbucks and walked home again. I'm not the only one on this journey anymore and he is supporting (not pushing, that's a B.I.G. difference) me. I am back on track.
And life is fanFREAKINGtastic!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
Yup you read it right. I went on vacation the day after my 40th birthday, after having a fanTASTIC party with friends and family and dancing (who knows how many calories I burned but I was SORE for days and it was so much fun). It was beautiful. It was the reception I would have asked for had I gotten married and been traditional. Instead I went on a vacation with my roommate (yup, he's The One) and our best friend and on the 2nd day something amazing happened. The details would take too long to enter here but we experienced a sense of love, complete and overwhelming and the vows we said there with our friend as witness were as lasting as I ever need. For the rest of forever.
Coming home was odd, since we already live together. Everything was the same, the cats were happy we were home, but everything is different. Will take some adjusting, but guess what I did this morning? (no, not THAT you dirty-minded people, that's personal) We walked up heart attack hill. No passing out or anything, went straight on to Starbucks and walked home again. I'm not the only one on this journey anymore and he is supporting (not pushing, that's a B.I.G. difference) me. I am back on track.
And life is fanFREAKINGtastic!
One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N
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