Week 5 Day 3 - Follow Me Boys

I may be one of the few who remembers or has seen the movie Follow Me Boys, growing up we basically only saw Disney movies and this one with Fred Mac Murray about the boy scouts (with a young Kurt Russell) is one I always think of when I'm exercising.  There's a part of the movie where they are walking and he's singing a song about putting one foot in front of the other.  Just one at a time.  And that's the approach I'm taking to moving and exercise.

Today I woke up when my first alarm (yes, I have 2 of them, the 2nd one goes off 45 minutes after the 1st) went off and was out the door on a walk by 6:50am.  It was almost rainy which I loved and I walked a little further down the street and then coming back towards the house I took the left-hand turn to go up heart-attack hill.  I walked a little further up the hill today than I did yesterday.  It was 10 minutes but it was good.  I had an early morning (BORING) meeting and this helped me be 1. awake and 2. on time for said meeting.

On the train this weekend I was reading in the back issues of WW magazine (no we don't automatically get signed up for it online, so thank you Janice...) and they had some very good ideas about getting started on a walking regimen.  Basically you get into the habit by walking say, 10 minutes a day for a week - maybe followed by some jumping jacks - and then the next week you walk 20 minutes a day and so on until you are able to start implementing some jogging into it.  Now, I am so not going jogging for a while.  Let's just say there are not strong enough over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders to keep me from going in to work the next day with black eyes.  So, that'll be later.  But in the meantime I'm walking.

Today was a meeting day.  I had not one but TWO.  So my little schedule of snacking kind of went out the window, however I did still have time to include some good things (and some new ones):

I took some almonds, cherry tomatos, string cheese, yogurt and a Smart Ones meal to work along with a fruit cup.  I gave the yogurt and fruit cup to a co-worker who was hungry and was proud of myself because normally?  I'd be hogging that stuff.  What helped was that I stopped by Subway after the first meeting and got a breakfast egg and cheese english muffin.  Toasted, with egg whites and spinach and tomato and a little bit of oil. 4 points.  OH, and I had a banana.  Those suckers are 2 points!!!  But it was good and good for me.  I am prone to leg cramps if I don't watch it and I'm guessing if I'm exercising I won't be able to keep the cramps away without some extra potassium.

For lunch I had the cherry tomatos, some almonds (10 = 1.5 points) and string cheese and then I had a Smart Ones meal that Mel introduced me to this weekend.  Santa Fe rice and veggies.  Spicy and hot and yummy.  6 points.    Then I came home and had a sandwich with cheese and veggie slice (Yves Bologna slices are 2 slices for 1 point) and I'll have some veggies later. 

So yeah, it's not a habit yet....it's only been 5 days of walking purposefully but it's a start.  And I plan to get up and do it tomorrow.  And I am here to tell you - if I can do it you TOTALLY can.  Just have to put one foot in front of the other and move.  10 minutes goes by faster than you'd expect.

One day.  One pound.  One step (or 120) at a time.
~N

ps  I had a salad for dinner AND I walked AGAIN.  Talked to Mel on the phone and walked for over 30 minutes, including over 1/2 way up heart-attack hill.  IN THE RAIN! I am so rocking this.

Week 5 Day 2 - Movin on Up

So, yeah, it's not 17 pounds.  It's 18.5!!!  I knew I had lost more.  :) 

And, because I've been walking all weekend I walked some more today.  I actually woke up before my alarm clock (not unheard of) and got UP (totally unheard of).  Without even worrying how I looked I put some clothes on and went out the door by 6:45 and went on a walk.  I don't know if I mentioned it or not but there's a hill behind my house.  It's a steep hill.  The last time I tried to walk up it I wanted to lie down and sleep about 1/2 of the way up.  No I did not climb the hill this morning.  But I did walk 1/3 of the way up, after walking down the street and up another not-quite so steep culdesac.  I was done by just after 7 and still had plenty of time to get ready for work.  And it felt great!  It was a little bit misty (not raining but a northwest version of fog) and felt really good. 

Then, at work I made the time to go walk with a co-worker.  1 mile.  I know it was 1 mile because I have walked that route many times. Movement.  Exercise will put the shove in the momentum I've been enjoying.  And I've kept to my points.  I didn't shop when I got home last night but I did after work today.  Yogurt and fresh vegetables (had the BEST stir fry tonight.  SO good) and the sandwich bread you told me about Janice, and more Lifewater and some cheese.  (Because I will always want cheese, I'm like Wallace from Wallace and Grommit - must. have. cheese.) 

Not drinking enough water I think, I had the 64 ounces we're supposed to get, but the more I move the more I will need the water.   So, this week will be all about continuing the movement that Mel helped push me into this weekend.  (Ok, to be fair she didn't push me into it, she asked if I wanted to and I was happy to go.) If I can do what I did today at least 3 times this week I will be VERY pleased with myself.  And 20 will go by so fast I'll be flying towards 25!

Posted late tonight, have to go to bed to get up for early meeting (and before that for a walk) so I will just tell you that I was very good today.  I had fruit, protein, grains, water and moved.  And it felt fan-freakin tastic.  Had a co worker tell me she could tell I had more energy!!  ON A MONDAY!!!!  Yep.  I not only survived Monday, I left it in a smoldering heap on the ground. 

It's all about believing you can do it.  And I KNOW I can.  And trust me, if I can there is no way you can't!!

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 5 - Weigh In day

So, I'm back.  I now know I need to go shopping for "Smart Ones" - they are good.  And I did pay close attention to my points.  The thing is, I drank a LOT on Friday and Saturday night (and am drinking rum tonight) but on this WW plan you get those weekly points if you go over.  (which I did go over on Friday night,  Jamaican food plus drinks was AWESOME and way over points)  BUT I also walked, every single day.  And I can tell you it started something so I will walk again tomorrow....and maybe walk the next day.

The thing I learned the most this weekend was that sometimes stuff comes up you don't expect and it can stress you out but it does not have to mean throwing out the entire plan.  That is what life is all about.  Dealing with the unexpected.

And....I lost 2 more pounds.  I'll look again in the morning, since I weigh in the mornings (and I didn't weigh this time till I got home to use my scale).

So, just think what this next week can bring.....exercise and no drinking like a maniac every night.  (she said, sipping her rum and diet cherry Dr Pepper for 2 points).

One Day.  One Pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Weekend Update

Just a note:  one Gin and Tonic is 3 points.  And I very highly appreciate the weekly points...........
Vacation is awesome and I walked around and talked yesterday so I get exercise points for that.

The Jamaican food and rum, rum, rum and (splash) of coke or something x 2 and the G&Ts were fanfreakintastic but boy I just went right by that points limit.  Today's agenda will include walking at least and possibly some Wii time.

One day.  One pound.  (3 or 6 drinks) and at least One step at a time. 
~N

Weekend Prep

ok, so I leave in the morning and I may not be blogging while I'm gone.  So, just wanted to let you know I DID incorporate fruit today, the fruit cup was 1 point.  And I met my points exactly.  I did not do enough exercise this week, that is the goal next week and I'm guessing I will get the chance to walk while on my mini-vacation.  I did play Wii Golf and Wii Bowling tonight (lost golf but kicked someone's butt at bowling hee hee).  So I have my work cut out for me.  I did weigh myself today just to see where I'm at and I am down 1 pound, but we'll see after the weekend.

Back at you on Sunday if not before.   Have a good weekend and keep counting - we can do this!!!
One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 4 Day 4 - I got nuthin

No, really. I got nuthin.  I am quite focused on several things including work, getting ready for a short vacation this weekend and the medical issue that won't go away so I don't really have anything to blog about.
I can say that I am loving the magazines, I am getting better at having more snacks throughout the day and finding what fits for me in this long term plan. 

I'm changing my old habits and I know from previous experience that  have to make this whole thing something that I will actually want to do and follow through with.  I can't put myself on anyone else's plan but my own.  Because I'm not losing anyone else's fat, I'm losing mine.

We'll see how tomorrow turns out - I'll be packing for a trip on Friday and highly unlikely I'll be near this blog until Sunday night.  In the meantime kiddies just keep counting those points, logging that food and remember:  you can do it, just take it....

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 4 day 3 - The "S" word

It's not the word you think, it's stress.  Now, I should preface this by saying that today was a good day.  I had an interview (shhh) and it went so well I know they would have hired me if they could afford me.  Ahh.  Yes.  I AM that good at my job.  :)  So, while I'm not going to accept this job (at least full time, may contract) it was good for me to go through the nerve-wracking process of selling myself. (or rather, my skills)

And when I was done my brother asked me to go to lunch so I was frantically racking my brain for a place to eat that would not kill my points and sure enough, there was a place with a salad bar right around the corner.  Score!!! 

So, my foods for the day were:  salad with tomatos, cucumbers, broccoli and a vinaigrette dressing (the dressing was the only thing with points) and then a very good yogurt cucumber salad.  Love those zero point veggies!  I had one of my favorite snacks, the sugar free chocolate puddings for dessert when I got to work and then in the afternoon I got hungry and had a couple of the Light & Fit yogurts.  I need to go shop for more cottage cheese and snack types (including cucumber that would be very good).  When I got home I was hungry so I made a quick cheese sandwich, with my (mental note need to buy more) favorite Sara Lee bread and provolone cheese.  I will probably make stir fry for dinner because it's filling and I love the taste.  I need to get my Wii on tonight too (as soon as I can wrestle the remote from the roommate) and do some exercise.

Now about that "S" word.  I told you my friend the muffin maker (ha! that's your new nickname J) gave me some Weight Watchers magazines and I was looking through one tonight and found an AWESOME recipe for heirloom tomatos with blue cheese (or feta) and basil but I also found a little blurb about stress.

I've been thinking about stress a lot recently, considering that it's highly likely that this is why my body does not seem to know what the hell week it is (still!!!!!) and given that I haven't considered myself to be overly stressed (more than usual that is) I needed to read about stress.   Of course stress can be a great motivator, but it's also very, very hard on the body.  And eating when stressed is one of the top reasons people give for gaining weight.

So, this is what I read: It comes from an article by Julie Bean who says that "45% of Americans report feeling stressed regularly."  Ongoing stress can lead to (along with obesity) heart problems, digestive problems and headaches.  The following ideas for handling stress come from David Spiegel, M.D., of Stanford University School of Medicine in Stanford, California.

*If you have 30 seconds try lighting a candle.  Now in most work places (where stress grows like rabbits copulate) you can't light a candle.  I am happy to say that you can buy flameless candles that can be scented.  You can also look into Scentsy.  (the big boss at my work has it in her office...) The article suggests orange or lavender and you could easily make (or buy) a lavendar sachet to take with you. 

*If you have 5 minutes try laughing it off.  Evidently there's a study that shows that just thinking about laughing increases the endorphines in your brain.  Hah!  Who knew!!  Lucky for me I work with people that make me laugh on a daily (if not hourly) basis.  If any of you need to laugh just let me know, I'll come sing and dance for you.  I do a mean YMCA and my Chicken Dance is renowned.  :)

*If you have 10 minutes try taking a tea break.  True to my British roots I can easily get into this one.  Funnily enough the study they quote in the article is from the University of London but regardless it says that people who drank tea 4 times a day for 6 weeks were less stressed than those that drank other caffeinated drinks.

*If you have 20 minutes try sitting still.  This would have to be at home (unless you have a room at your work where you can close the door and lock it that wasn't a bathroom at one time...).  Anyway, 20 minutes of meditation, started with sitting still with your eyes closed and focusing on breathing - working up to 20 minutes.  I learned some meditation when I was in graduate school and really liked it.  I put on my favorite "chill" music, turned all the lights out, lit candles (combo!) and would meditate in the biggest and most open room I had.  If you have read the book Eat Pray Love you'll know that it's not easy to just sit and meditate (especially if you aren't used to it) but I tell you if I can do it anyone can.

*If you have 30 minutes try moving.  I laughed when I read this directly after the sitting still one but it makes sense.  You need both.  Life works best when it's in balance.  My goal is to be able to say that I've done 30 minutes of some kind of activity at least 3 times a week.  And that's a starter. 

I'll leave you with one last quote from the magazine.   I think it helps to put the struggle from one pound to the next in perspective.  On sharing success, Sonia Gonzalez from New York says "Whenever I felt disappointed because I'd lost only a quarter of a pound, I would envision a stick of butter - a quarter of a pound - disappearing from my body.  What a motivator!"  Indeed.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

*all quotes taken from Weight Watchers Magazine, September/October 2008, pg 74 and pg 106

Week 4 Day 2 - Hunting Rabbits

I'm all about low point foods.  And I think that there are lots of them out there, I just have to hunt them.  Today a friend of mine brought me a fantastic (yes I want the recipe) muffin.  It was soft and chewy and filling and only 1 point.  Fantastic.  Tasted almost like a big cookie.

And I discovered that Progresso makes some soups that yes, they advertise as 0 point soups, but for the whole can it's 1.5 points.  Regardless, they are under 2 points. 

I find myself hunting low point foods.  I made a big salad yesterday with spinach leaves, cherry tomatos, feta and mushrooms - the only thing that had points was the feta and the vinaigrette.   It was awesome and 2.5 points.

The stir-fry vegetables I make are usually around 2 points if I eat the entire bag (which is a LOT.  Egg whites are 1 point for 1 serving.  I can make a big omelette with spinach and feta and mushrooms for 3 points.   It's all about finding the rabbit foods and making the most of them.  The Sara Lee bread and the sandwich thins are a find.  You can really make some great sandwiches with them.

Today I did well with my points - still have 3.5 left in the new number.  I packed snacks again and that helped.  Breakfast was the yummy muffin and 2 yogurts.  Then I had 1/3 cup of low fat cottage cheese, some baby carrots, did you know a whole cup of cherry tomatos is 0 points?  Yeah, so then I had 5 small sweet peppers (I found that I can buy a bag of them for very cheap at my local grocery store) and this time counted out the almonds.  (On Friday I had poured 1 cup out and thank goodness did not eat them all - 20 points in a cup!!)  I am not even finding myself craving chocolate (yes, I'm still in hormone hell this week) because of my sugar free chocolate pudding cups.  Then came home and had 2 veggie griller sandwiches with swiss cheese and spinach.  Rooted around in the cupboard and found the Progresso Soup and was very excited to see the points values. 

My friend that made the yummy muffin also brought me a treasure trove of back issues of Weight Watchers Magazine that I started reading at lunch and will use for blog ideas later.

Today went better, I will keep hunting those low point foods tho.  Seems entirely worth it and after that soup I know it will be.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 4 weigh-in day. Snoopy.

I DID IT!!!

Yes it means what you think it means.  It means I went through this whole entire sucky week (that is still happening today I might add.....) and felt like crap on a stick and way, WAY overate at a potluck and didn't exercise anything like regularly and then stepped on the scale today and I am T-minus 15 pounds.  I cannot tell you how happy I am right now so Snoopy has to tell you for me.  Today's goal is to try the Wii Yoga.  And to remember that I CAN DO THIS. 

(and believe me, if I can so can you)

ps.  only bad thing about this weigh in....lost another daily point.... but then I looked at my average daily points and see that I'm already eating 2 points less so this gives me a chance to find those lower numbered foods and MOVE more.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.

~N

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Week 3 Day 6 - Boredom

So, this weekend's lesson is boredom.  I am recouperating still (no change there) and I have the house to myself this weekend.  All kinds of opportunites present themselves.  Until a couple of hours ago I hadn't spoken with anyone since leaving work yesterday around 5pm and the peace and quiet was very good for the soul.  (Then got to talk to my younger brother for a couple of hours and vent and laugh and problem-solve.  Great phone call.)

One of the things that I did discover is that while I enjoy the quiet and time to myself I do find that I get bored very, very easily when I'm alone.  And this results in eating...I know I could exercise but see below (still trying to make that a habit).  So, today I got bored...

This morning I woke up earlier than I usually do on a weekend (because I went to bed earlier than I usually do) and so I started to eat earlier in the day.  This resulted in good choices but combine the time and my boredom and I've whittled away my daily points so that I am going to need to be creative for dinner because I've only got 7 points left.  But check out what I had today - it was good!!

Breakfast - eggwhite, spinach and feta omelette.  egg whites are one of the things you can have a lot of and not many points.  Very, very good.  Fresh spinach is the key for me (cannot handle canned or frozen - ick). Also had a couple of pieces of the Sara Lee toast (1 point) and some cottage cheese (still craving the cheese) Decided to have tea for my caffeine and enjoyed a couple of cups of Lady Grey with some equal (0 cal). Also had a yogurt.  This was a lot more than I usually have in the day before noon, but it was good.

I did make a concerted effort to drink more liquids today and I found that I have this zero calorie peach tea stuff that's really tasty.  (and 0 points)  For lunch I had Fri Chik (if you aren't vegetarian you probably dont' know what this stuff is but it's yummy) hummus and baby carrots and some more cottage cheese and a couple of string cheese sticks.

Still feeling sore and haven't been up for doing any exercise.  Well, let's be honest, I could do exercise but I don't want to.  I feel like crap and have all week and after popping Pamprins like tic tacs I just would rather sit on my ass and watch Netflix.  There.  Honesty.  *sigh*  I still havent' gotten myself into any semblance of consistent exercise.  No excuse.  Just don't want to.

So, tonight's goal is to do 10 minutes on the Wii.  That seems like a tall order and maybe I should do it before eating because last time I did exercise I was less inclined to want to eat afterwards.  Tomorrow is weigh-in day.  I'll let you in on a little secret.  I stepped on the scale today....I did lose more.  :)   Will tell you tomorrow when it's official. 

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 3 Day 6 - Stasis

Well, I survived the week and only 1 more day to go before weigh-in and Week 4 begins.  I decided to weigh myself today just to prepare myself...it has been a hard week and I'm still not out of the roller coaster ride.  I was expecting to have gained 5 back.  Nope.  I am still exactly where I was last Sunday.  So I am counting that as a small victory.   Being in constant pain and retaining all of the water in my body does not help in this process I'm trying to go through.  But it is certainly not going to stop me.

Today I took the advice of good friends and took lots of little snacks to work.  I still have to work on making that fit with my need to re-acquaint with the feeling of authentic hunger, but it is not my intention to starve myself either.  Hardly.  The problem is that as of right now I still have 15 points left for the day and I am still feeling uncomfortably full.  I know this is because of the physical stuff going on this week but I know myself well enough to know that this will mean I'm hungry at around 11:30pm tonight.  And I was trying not to eat at night.  So, still some tweaking to do.  And some exercise.

Ugh.  yeah that's the hardest part of this week.  I just feel so sore and uncomfortable.  And not at all interested in working out.  I think my best bet is going to be trying some stretches on the Wii.

So, here's today's menu:

2 Dannon light and Fit yogurts,  1 cup of cherry tomatos, 1/4 cup cottage cheese (low-fat), 20 oz iced VIA starbucks, 12 baby carrots, 3 light string cheese sticks, 30 raw, unsalted almonds, 8 small sweet peppers and 1 sugar free chocolate pudding.  Like I said, it was all spread out through the day but still feels like it was too much.  (But that's probably because my hormones are still wreaking havoc with me.)

I read a good article on the WW website today about going out to eat and staying on your plan.  It outlined some good Dos and Don'ts:

Set a Budget.  This works of course with money too!!  Preparing yourself before-hand with what you are willing to eat sets you up before you even get to the restaurant.  They also suggest planning extra exercise before or after and remembering that it's not a good thing to have special occasions turn into every day.

Put on your game face.  Decide beforehand on guidelines (like having 1 breadstick and then asking to have the waiter remove the basket or skipping the all-inclusive meals)

Make special requests.  After all it's your money, ask for it like YOU want it.  (i.e. without butter, with vegetables instead of bread on the side etc)

Practice portion control.  I like the ideas on this one a lot.  They suggest ordering a salad to start with (which will fill you up more with lower points) and then either sharing an entree or using appetizers to create a meal.  (They are smaller portions anyway)

Break down language barriers.  If you dont' know what a preparation technique is, ask.  (i.e. au gratin, hollandaise = high fat)

Down size the super size.  Again good ideas - order a smaller size or order a kids meal.

Watch out for extras.  (usually things like an extra burger patty or bread)  They add up fast.

Don't go top heavy.  This one is about salads and the stuff that can turn them into caloric nightmares (croutons, high fat dressing, cheese)  Having your salad dressing on the side is a great way to not spend lots of points at once.

Don't drink away your progress.  This directly relates to me on the weekends.  I can drink rum and coke like nobody's business on a weekend.  But they suggest alternating alcoholic drinks with non-caloric sodas or sparkling water.  And not drinking on an empty stomach.  (always good advice)

Resign from the clean plate club.  Ahh yes, another rule learned in childhood that comes back to haunt me (much as eating when it's a certain time of day, whether you're hungry or not).  Eat slowly.  Put 1/2 the meal in a doggy-bag.  And probably the most interesting part that I did not know:  it takes 20 minutes for your body to realize/register that it's full.  (hence the eating slowly)

So, maybe between now and Sunday I will be able to lose a pound or 2 in water (please GOD) but if not I am satisfied simply to not have gone backwards. 

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 3 Day 5 - Repentance

Oh yes, repentance.  Penance.  Guilt.  And not a little bit of shame.  However, today was not difficult and I'm still working on changing my mind-set when it comes to work lunches....

Happily today I made choices that I was proud of.  Mid-day I had a mini-meeting with 2 very good friends who are also WW members and who read this blog and knew what was going on (hormones and pea salad combined).  They each pointed out that it is very important to not starve myself during the day and then pig out at night.  Of course, this is something I have addressed in an earlier blog - my learning to recognize hunger and how it feels versus just eating  because I'm supposed to, or because everyone else is (see yesterday for how well that one's going).  But I do agree that it is important to give the body fuel with which to burn off all the excess "fuel" I have, and that means eating something throughout the day so that my body won't go into conserve mode and try to "save" me from starving.

They had some good ideas about having snacks with me at work to supplement - including almonds and veggies to crunch on and cottage cheese and cherry tomatos.  So I went shopping after work and got some of those very things - almonds and cottage cheese, cherry tomatos, spinach for salad, hummus for dips and feta cheese because it had the lower calorie count.  I also bought some little 1 cup containers so that I can make my own pre-set servings.  And I found a fantastic new meal from Morning Star.  All you vegetarians out there - WinCo foods has Morning Star meals:  Chik'N Enchiladas with some rice and beans (only 5 points!) and Sesame Chik'n (6 points)

So, not doing good on drinking enough water this week.  I think it's because I feel like a giant blueberry or whatever full-of-water berry you want to pick.  And I feel full all the time.  I look forward to getting out of this hormone roller coaster.  SOON.

Today was not as bad as one would think and tomorrow will be better. 

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 3 Day 4 - wagon? what wagon? I only see cupcakes.

So, today I went over my points.  And not just by 1.  Noooo.  I flew past my points total somewhere in the middle of lunch, probably around 12:10pm.  What happened?  A work party happened.  And I am not yet good enough at gauging my points values.  (this could also be turned around to point out that I'm not good at gauging points values and thus may not have eaten 42 points worth of food, but I think I may be close in my guessing.)  And I am certainly not good enough at stopping myself.  But, I am capable of analyzing the hell out of it, getting on my Wii and doing my best NOT to do it again.

This is what happened.  My work has some amazing cooks.  And part of us all dealing with the stress of work is to get together on a semi-regular basis (usually for someone's birthday) and have a potluck lunch.  Today's theme was sandwiches and salads.  Sounds healthy doesn't it??  Yeah.  Have you heard those commercials "Real Men of Genius" where they make fun of 12,000 calorie salads??  Yeah...

SO, here's what I ate today and why I've dipped into my weekly points (thank goodness they give you this option, so I don't feel quite so horrible but still).  Mind you on a lot of these items I don't know the points values so I had to create a recipe on the ww website and just guess.  (I do SO much better with pre-portioned foods!)

Breakfast:  1 Dannon Light & Fit and 1 Fiber 1 yogurt and 1 strawberry Lifewater.  This is a good start to the day, yummy and only 2 points.  This part of the day was FINE.

11:30:  lunch....(insert ominous music here, perhaps Jaws is the best choice)
Pea salad.  This wonderful concoction blends 2 of my favorite foods EVER - peas and cheese.  (see it even rhymes, it's awesome!)  But if you look it up on google for calories it's around 326 calories per SERVING... yeah. According to the info I fed into the ww website this "salad" was 14 points.

Sourdough bread (the tiny round kind) with home-made artichoke dip.  OMG this was good.  And OMG it was approximately 9 points.

Salsa (thank you lord, zero points, but wait there's more, the shark is moving to it's next victim)

Curried CousCous Salad.  This thing was amazing and I don't even know what all was in it.  Cous-cous (for sure) some red cabbage, onions, sultanas (yellow raisins) and some curry dressing stuff.  Made my taste buds stand up and do a dance of joy.  But again, guessing 10 points.  (do you see a running tally here????)

I had forgotten we had this luncheon so I ran to Subway and ordered 2 sandwiches, 1 veggie delight with pepperjack and cheddar and 1 turkey for those that aren't vegetarians.  I got it on flatbread and cut each sandwich into 1/4s so it was like a 3" sandwich.  But still, that was around 2 points.

And THEN I almost didn't but I went back and got a chocolate cupcake.  My co worker is an amazing cook and her cakes/cookies/cupcakes are sooooooooooooooo good.  And this chocolate cupcake was moist, had chocolate chips in it and on top of the creamy chocolate frosting.  OH MY WORD it was so good.  And at least 5 points.

So, yeah, now I'm home and no matter how much Wii Fit crap I do I will still be wanting to eat something in about an hour....I'm drinking water but today was NOT a good points day.  Again, the weight watchers plan is smart in that it anticipates days like today and lets you have points for the week to use up if you go over and "indulge".  So I've HEAVILY dipped into that points total.

I have to figure out how to tell myself that "yes, that is probably very good and it does smell very good, but you don't HAVE to have 1 of everything.  Or 2 of everything.  Or 3 of the freaking great cous cous."  The thing is this is honest.  This is life.  Some days I'm going to want to eat 3 portions of something totally great.  And I can either choose to eat it, or re-train my brain. (and eat only yogurt, diet soda and crackers....)

I will now be hauling my ass back on that wagon because I know that the long view of all of this is a change in my habits.  I grew up going to potlucks.  I am positive I will have them again.  So I MUST create a winning strategy for myself so that I can be social and not spend 50 points in a day.  Because the food may taste good but I do NOT want to go backwards.  So I won't. 

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.  (maybe 2 or 3)
~N

Week 3 Day 3 - I'm melting! I'm melting!

I can honestly say that I have not had a day like today in a long time.  And I look forward to it being a long time until it happens again.  I went into full meltdown mode today.  Hormones completely out of whack.  One minute I was yelling at my poor pet for not getting out of my way and the next minute I was bawling at work.  (horrifying, but thankfully I work with a lot of good and understanding people)

Called my doctor who suggested that this happens every once in a while and that I take my multivitamin at a different time (because it might be affecting the absorption of the pill).   These things don't make me any less happy to be having PMS and feeling like Violet after eating the berry in Willy Wonka but I know this too shall pass.  And if things don't get better next month I'll be getting a new pill.  (This portion of the TMI  section is over.)

One of my good friends loaned me her Weight Watchers All-Time Favorites cook book today and I've been scouring it for good vegetarian recipes.  That's one of the things that has hampered my success in the past - I'm impatient and I am not a cook.  I have been very lucky to live with many roommates that are good cooks but I've just never gotten into it.  I've been looking at the recipes in this book and I am impressed with the focus on the tastes.  I know that's the point in cooking - making it taste good - but this book helps to focus on making it taste good with ingredients that aren't going to stop the heart.

So, I was in full comfort food mode today and I am proud to tell you that I still have more than 1/2 of my daily points.  The saving grace has been that I stocked up on foods that are pre-portioned out and that I like.  (novel concept)  

Breakfast was 1 Dannon Light & Fit and I bought some Fiber One yogurt, they are only 50 calories (compared to the Dannon at 60) and have more fiber.  Still each just 1 point.  
Then, even though I was stressed and irritable AND crying I did not go find whatever baked goods were lying around the office to hoover them into my mouth (a tried and true "poor me" pacifier).  When I really HAD to have a treat I ate a sugar free chocolate pudding.  2 points and very worth it. 
I was still craving sugary taste later (and did not bring 2 puddings with me....on purpose) so I had an apple sauce cup and am still lovin my Lifewaters.  Strawberry was the theme today and it was very good. 
At about 3 my co worker reminded me that I hadn't had lunch yet and I was craving salt (really, really wanted to go buy a little packet of salted peanuts from the vending machine but I looked it up and O.M.G.  SEVEN POINTS?!!!!)  so I made myself a weird chicken/egg drop soup thing from my medifast packets. 2 points and nice and filling. 
Got home after a late afternoon meeting and devoured 4 light string cheeses (5.5 points) and my focus for dinner is going to be on vegetables.  I crave protein when I'm hormonal like this and I could probably sit down and eat eggs and cheese and cheese and eggs until my arteries clogged.  Tonight I will dig into one of my bargain purchases from yesterday - the Chik N Strips. 

OH, and may I just say "YAY ME" for a second here?  It's been hot here (and muggy) and today, to say thank you, our boss (the one that freaked out in happiness when I took her a bunch of chocolate and diet soda) handed out ice cream bars/cones......  Do you know how badly I wanted a nutty bar?  Or an ice cream sandwich??  Yeah.  Hormones make it worse.  But, I didn't even look.  I popped the top on my diet soda and told myself that I have another chocolate pudding at home.

Tonight's big goal will be to do something other than be one with my couch.  Yesterday's walk counted.  Today I have not done that.  Did not do yoga last night.  Went straight to bed, heavily medicated.  (Still had 5 points left for the day I might add.)  So, tonight I'm going to let that obnoxious little Wii voice tell me I'm obese and I'm going to work on bringing some damn balance into my life.   :)

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Ps.  Tonight I set up my Mii character on the Wii.  complete with the humiliation of "that's obese" and "you are unbalanced" but I did balance and stretching and hula hooping for 15 minutes.  And THAT is a yay me.  (plus I only ate 1/2 my dinner)

Week 3 Day 2 - Hormones and Retail Therapy

Ok, so, it's highly unlikely that any guys are reading this but if you are just know this is a post for the estrogen crowd.  You're more than welcome to read but you may not get as much out of it as the rest of us will.


Now then, my body is not cooperating with the new birth control prescription my doctor gave me a few months ago.  It was working fine.  Like clockwork actually for 6 months or so, but for some very strange (and as yet unknown to me) reason this week my body does not realize that this is not the week with the white (placebo) pills.  It's still just a regular week.  So instead of 5 days to get ready for cravings and bitchiness I get them NOW.  (Dear God please tell me this isn't going to mean 2 weeks of this?!  Calling doctor tomorrow.)


What this has resulted in was retail therapy at the end of an otherwise regularly fast-paced Monday at the office.  I needed to go shopping for a couple of co workers anyway but unfortunately I'd put the shopping trip off until today.  I am not a shopper.  Put me in a book store and I can shop or browse (with a cup of coffee) for hours.  But anything else is treated as a military excursion.  Surgical strike.  Make a plan.  Study the routes.  Get in. Get out.  Today, however I was shopping for a co-worker (the boss actually) and buying chocolate.  Lots of different kinds of yummy chocolate.  Normally my hormones would dictate that 1/2 of all the chocolate comes directly into my mouth.  And especially when my hormones are doing whatever the hell it is they are doing today/this week.  But today I made the conscious choice to say "nope, I don't want to use all of my points up for the week tonight."


I found a stash of Lifewater for $1 each (Target by the way) and the ChickN Strips I eat? Totally on sale for 2.87 a package (they are normally around 4).  So I bought a bunch of those.  My cart was hilarious - diet coke, chocolate of all shapes and sizes, Lifewater, veggie ChiNStrips and Veggie burgers.  (like a person who gets a double whopper, extra cheese, large fries and a "diet soda")


So, yeah I'm not feeling motivated to move today.  I had lots of intentions to come home and do yoga and I have zero desire to.  I did however go on a walk today.  This gets double "good for you" points from my conscience as it was blazing hot AND muggy outside and I would have been perfectly happy staying in my air conditioned office.  But I have a good friend that lets me vent AND who said she'd walk with me so we went on a walk.  It wasn't super fast and it wasn't a mile.  But it was like 150 degrees or something insane outside and my HORMONES were going nuts!  (ok, it was probably 95 plus humidity)


I've been doing my best to stock my fridge and kitchen with good (low points) foods.  You should see all the Life Water I have, and I bought some sugar free pudding snack packs and more Dannon Light & Fit Yogurts.  I'm re-training my brain to look at foods differently - and today I found this great bread from Sara Lee, it's 45 calories per slice!!  This means I can have 2 pieces for 1 point!  And I'm buying more salad stuff (because zero points is good) so while there is still cheese there are also lots of snacks that I can fill up on.


So, today's menu (so far):


2 Dannon Light & Fit yogurts - I like the vanilla and the berry flavors
1 Starbucks instant iced coffee packet (50 calories, 0 fat, 0 fiber - and I didn't add anything except water but then I realized it was 50 calories per SERVING and there are 2 servings per packet.....added it up on the ww website and it's TWO stinkin points!!! highly irritating....but 100% worth it.)
Medifast chicken noodle soup with the scrambled eggs  - may sound gross but it's actually not dissimilar to egg drop soup.  And even on a hot day it's good and fills me up. 
Then I came home and made 2 sandwiches (with my new bread, only 2 points for the bread and 2 points for cheese and 2 points for the veggie burgers).  I still have 18 points left so I'll be having vegetables and something protein-y later on. 

I may play some Wii games in a little bit, but then again I may just decide that I'd rather sit here and drink a big old glass of Crystal Light.  Hormones SUCK.  On the bright side, I did exercise today and there's every likelihood I'll stay under my points for the day.  And there's always tomorrow.  Yeah, calling the doctor tomorrow.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Side Note about Movie Food

Going to see Inception in a little bit and in doing my research for snacks I found the following info to
horrify/amaze you.....

Large Buttered Popcorn (20 cups): 1500 calories, 116g fat, 90g carbs

Hot Dog (1 dog with bun): 305 calories, 4.5g fat, 23g carbs
Nachos with Cheese (large, 4 oz): 1101 calories, 59g fat, 131.5g carbs
Soft Pretzel (large): 483 calories, 4.5g fat, 99g carbs
Cotton Candy (2.5 oz): 300 calories, 0g fat, 74g carbs
Junior Mints (3 oz): 320 calories, 5g fat, 68g carbs
Milk Duds (3 oz): 340 calories, 12g fat, 56g carbs
Sno-Caps (3.1 oz): 360 calories, 16g fat, 60g carbs
Raisinets (3.5 oz): 380 calories, 16g fat, 64g carbs
Gummi Bears (4 oz): 390 calories, 0g fat, 90g carbs
Goobers (3.5 oz): 525 calories, 35g fat, 55g carbs
Twizzlers (6 oz): 600 calories, 4g fat, 136g carbs
M&M's (5.3 oz): 735 calories, 31.5g fat, 105g carbs
Skittles (6.75 oz): 765 calories, 9g fat, 166.5g carbs
Reese's Pieces (8 oz): 1200 calories, 60g fat, 138g carbs
Starburst (24 pieces): 480 calories, 10.5g fat, 99g carbs
Red Vines (one of my favorites) 140 calories, 0 fat, 35 carbs (3 points for 4 pieces)....

I have (after eating a very good lunch of stir fry - with assorted frozen veggies, egg whites, veggie chik n strips, onion, peppers and teriyaki sauce, oh and 2 light & fit yogurts and coffee for breakfast) 16 points left for today.  I plan to share a medium popcorn (without butter = 10 points if I don't share), skip the red vines and drink a diet soda.  And when I get home I'm going to have chocolate (sugar free) pudding to end the day.

Back in the day I would have gone and gotten myself a medium buttered popcorn, box of Red Vines, large diet soda and if I was really in the mood for snacks I'd throw in a box of Raisinets.

Knowledge is power and I do want to be healthy more than I want to eat all that stuff.

One day. One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 3 Day 1 - Momentum

10.5 pounds down.  I am realistic (and have watched Biggest Loser) enough to know that you will lose a big number at first when you first start limiting intake and that slow and steady wins the long race.  And this is a long race.  It took me a good long time to gain this weight so in order to make myself/body believe that this new plan is  permanent (and not just a passing fancy) I have to be consistent.

A very good friend was visiting yesterday and we were talking about my new Wii and exercise and the plan and he said "I hear the best exercises are the ones you do."  ...   Yes.  All the planning in the world doesn't actually DO anything.  (Much as I used to make budgets, I was really good at making budgets....I just wasn't good at following them.  But I found what worked for me and that is no longer an area to work on.)

So, I am finding that Saturdays (so far) are the hardest days for me to stay within my points goal.  Yesterday I went 5 over and woke up feeling the difference.  I was reading on the website (if you are a weightwatchers member I highly recommend the website, it's got a LOT of info.  I'm taking my time and reading stuff daily.) the point of the weekly extra points.  Basically you have a certain # of points daily to eat under and I'm doing fine (except on Saturdays) with this, and because the whole point of this is to be realistic and not feel like you're "on a diet" you are allowed an extra # of points for the week for "indulgences".  (you know the ones - it's 11:30pm and you ABSOULTELY MUST have something chocolate).   This extra # per week is the same # that you have for a day and while it's a good idea to spread the points out you can certainly use them all in one day.

I think that for me the best plan is going to be to try to NOT go over because I feel the difference.  Today I woke up feeling like I over-ate last night and so was not hungry when it was time for breakfast....so breakfast will have to wait....till later.  I bought a pack of Starbucks instant iced coffee yesterday and tried it this morning.  If you are a coffee lover I really recommend this stuff.  Just like Via this stuff is good.  It's 50 calories a packet and zero fat or fiber.  I did add a tiny bit of half and half (because I haven't bought the skim milk yet) so that'll add a little bit but still it's not much and it tastes like the iced, sweetened coffee you get at the store.

So, today I was reading the website and looking for ideas on filling foods and motivation and found these tips very helpful.  8 Habits of Successful subscribers: 
1. Ask for help.  This seems obvious but if you are like me (stubborn, embarrassed to not be in shape and determined to do it by myself) it's easy to not follow this habit of success.  Surrounding yourself with people that you can trust to be honest (I said my actual weight outloud to my roommate this last week and wanted to cry from embarrassment) and who will help you and give you good advice.  Part of this for me includes NOT having people around me that will use guilt or shame.  Those do not work on me.  They just make me mad and that does not help.
2. Learn from experience.  And this doesn't necessarily mean other people's experience I might note.  While I find it very motivating to hear the success stories of others it isn't their weight I'm losing.  It's mine.  And it'll be my previous successes and failures that I need to learn from.  (i.e. if I find myself at a Saturday I need to have lots of filling, low point foods to eat)
3. Manage your environment.  This makes perfect sense to me.  Surround yourself with foods that will help you succeed.  For me this includes the instant no sugar, low calorie drinks, snacks and my Medifast food packets that I can make by just adding water.  Setting myself up for success.
4. Manage your feelings.  I know that this is something that will be key to my own success.  Identifying emotions that lead to comfort eating and learning alternative ways to deal with those emotions. 
5. Manage your thoughts.  I have a theory about the tapes that we play in our heads - the tapes that say that we're not good enough, the negative tapes that we pull out when things are rough.  My theory is that we have control of these tapes and we can therefore change them to be positive tapes.  Over-ride the old stuff with new stuff that says "you are 100% capable of doing this" "failure is just a step back, not a return to the beginning".  (your tapes may vary from mine).  By making yourself your #1 fan you will always have a support system.
6. Monitor yourself.   This is where tracking your foods and identifying hunger and potential downfalls is helpful.  The hunger tracker on the ww site points out that you want to avoid the peaks and valleys that come with anger.  By maintaining a feeling of satisfaction I am certainly less likely to feel like I HAVE to have a big meal.  It just means (for me) that I'm eating lots of little meals.
7. Prepare yourself.  You can't get where you're going if you don't know where that is.  And having a plan for getting there and being realistic about it are the best ways to  make it successful.
8. Take care of yourself.  This may seem obvious but it's pretty easy to get caught up helping others and not focusing on the things you need to take care of yourself.  And unless you take care of yourself you won't really have anything left to give anyone around you.  (see the importance of surrounding yourself with good supports so that they understand and support your goals)

So, today I'm paying attention to my signals and I'm not eating unless I'm hungry.  Not going to let it get to where I'm ravenously hungry, but still waiting to eat until I hit that hunger stage.  And I will be using my Wii Fit and am going to try for 15 minutes. 

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 2 day 6 - new scale

Ok, so I told you I brought a new scale home.  It's from work.  It goes back Monday morning and I am buying this scale.  It's a digital scale and unlike the other one we have just gives you 1 number (instead of wavering between numbers while you stand hoping for a good one).  However, my roommate stood on both scales today and noted that both of them vary depending on where you stand and how you stand on them.  I'd like to know how exactly to stand so it's lighter so that the next time I'm at my doctor's office I can save myself that humiliation....

But anyway, I stepped on this scale and....guess what kiddies.....I am now 10.5 pounds down!!!!!!  I did it twice and then did a happy dance!!!  4.5 pounds to go to my first goal!!! 

I will not go out and celebrate by buying myself a big cheesy omelette.  I will however go get an iced coffee from Starbucks (still looking the points value up on that) and I bought Egg Beaters' Egg Whites and I am going to make myself a mushroom omelette with a little bit of cheese. 

And since it's hot today I'm stayin inside (A/C) and I have the Wii.....  Yes.  This is a better week than last week and next week will be better still.  Drinking more water was my goal this week and I have done that.  Daily.  I'm more able to identify my hunger as hunger vs emotion and that is making a difference.  Next week's goal will be to start consistent (3x a week) exercise.  I'm aiming low to start with.  Goal of 10 minutes per day for 3 days out of the week. I can do this.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 2 Day 5 - Friday, time to party

I've mentioned that Fridays are hellish at my work yes?  Ok, so they are.  Always.  This week was no exception and since I've been re-acquainting myself with hunger I was able to identify the stomach rumblings of irritation or stress (and find that drinking water or my beloved Sobe Lifewater helps).  Side note and mini ad:  Safeway has SobeLifewater on sale 10 for 10$. 

So today I had to run to the bank at lunch and instead of going to Starbucks for a coffee and an egg salad sandwich (that is one of my favorite lunches) I remembered that there's a Subway in the same complex as my bank.  I know I have talked about my love of the sandwich but it cannot be overstated.  I LOVE sandwiches.  And the Veggie delight at Subway is 4 points.  Well worth it to add on the pepperjack cheese and a diet coke and I felt satisfied and ready to face the rest of the crazy busy afternoon.

I don't trust our scale at home so I borrowed one for the weekend weigh-in on Sunday.  I'm thinking that last week's number is not going to be equalled this week and I'm going to be ok with whatever the number is.  I do know that I did things differently this week and that is yet another step in the right direction.  I bought the Wii from my friend, I know that is going to be another step - easy access to exercise that does not feel like a chore. 

So, today's meal was the Subway and diet coke and I'm not sure what's for dinner.  I was exploring the ww website and found that a gin and tonic is 3 points.....I'm thinking I may check on the points in a nice cold rum and coke.  By the way, I checked and 1 measley piece of cheese pizza (or add mushrooms to is) is 4 points.  I cannot just eat 1 piece.  THAT is not on my menu.  But I'm guessing some Wii games are.  :)

One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N

Week 2, day 4 - Wii wii wii all the way home

A friend of mine at work heard me bitching about how much I don't like video games and said "you should try Wii Fit, it's working out and it's fun!".  I was reluctant to think of paying for a video game that was focused on exercise.  2 things that I do not like.  However, she suggested that I borrow her's as she is moving and can't use it for a couple of months.  Hmmm.  Something that will make me exercise, something that's a game, something that I can try out first? 

So, last night we put the balance board up and put the game in and the tiny little happy computer person said "that's obese" when I stepped on the board.  Wait, first the voice said "oh" when I stepped on the board.  (Like "oh my god how fat ARE YOU?!") And then it proceeded to tell me I was unbalanced!!  For something that's supposed to be fun this plastic thing was pissing me off.

And then I started doing downhill skiing (the thing with the flags) and ski jumping, and soccer with weird flying pandas and shoes (!?what am I on drugs?!) and step aerobics and jogging.  Yeah. I went jogging last night.  :)   The more I take it seriously and don't allow myself to have a bit of fun the more I'm going to feel like I'm being deprived.  And then I'll get mad.  And then I'll want to eat something.  But last night I exercised and it was fun.

Today I started out in a pissy mood.  I didn't sleep well and subsequently slept too late and today was my annual review so I HAD to be on time and look presentable.  Lucky for me I bought a box of Dannon Light & Fit yogurt when I went looking for my Sobe Lifewater.  Those little yogurts are GOOD.  I like the vanilla and blueberry.  And they are only 60 calories (1 point).  Got through the job evaluation and was hungry by the time I got home. 

Now it may seem ironic, given my love for food, but I am NOT a good cook.  I have been extremely blessed over the years with roommates that are great cooks and that love to cook.  One of the things that gets me into trouble is my impatience (not just in diet but let's stay focused on that shall we?) and when I get home from work I want to EAT.  NOW.  If my roommate got home before me there will usually be a yummy dinner waiting for me.  If (like today) I get home first I'm the one that cooks.....  Historically this has led to many a pizza or fast food dinner.  (Because hey, it's food right NOW.)  Today I made a big salad.

Fresh lettuce from someone's garden, tomato, baby carrots, green onions, string cheese (yes, it's worth the points to me), yellow pepper and some raspberry vinaigrette dressing.  All of that, plus the yogurts, 1 strawberry and 3 blueberries and I've still got a good 1/2 of my points left.  Throw in some time on the Wii (tell me I'm unbalanced, HAH, I'll figure out how to do that damn ski hill if it kills me!) and today will be a good day. 

And the best part?  I don't feel like I've deprived myself.  I know myself well enough to know that I will get hungry at night.  And not hungry for most of the morning.  So I just adjust my points allotment to fit what I want and it seems to be working.  I have no clue what the scale will say this week, but I'm not going to beat myself up if it wasn't 5 pounds less, because I know that what I did this week was better than what I did last week.  And that is the right direction.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 2, Day 3 - Layin it all on the line

I don't remember if it was Dr Phil or Oprah...probably Oprah because Dr Phill makes me throw stuff at the tv.  Anyway  I was watching a show 4 or 5 years ago and they were talking to (and about) a person who was seriously overweight.  I believe he was around 800-900 pounds and there was a segment where the show staff brought out all the food that this man was eating in a day.  It filled several tables.  I remember looking at this and thinking "man oh man I sure would not want to have everything I eat put on display for everyone to see."

The first thing I did when I was working to lose weight was to start writing down everything I put in my mouth.  I didn't have any idea what I was eating in terms of calories.  They say that in order to lose weight you need to keep your calories down to  under 1500 per day.  I was eating well over 2500 a day.  Just start with a trip to Starbucks.  Vanilla Mocha.  720  Egg salad sandwich 450.  That, right there is 1170 calories.  And that's not breakfast or dinner...

The first time I tallied the foods I was eating I was so depressed.  I thought "there is NO way I am eating that much".  I just didn't feel super full.  In fact there were days when I felt like I was holding back from eating and yet there was the proof in the numbers.  It made a dramatic difference to me to actually SEE the numbers.

The math is very easy, if you don't exercise and burn the calories and you add more calories on they have to go somewhere.  I started looking at it like balancing my checkbook, start with the total of calories that I should try to eat in a day and just don't go over that number.  Of course it's a lot easier said than done.  And I am of the opinion that for me to make this work I can't feel like I'm depriving myself of something that I want.  I just have to want to lose weight MORE than I want the cheese enchilada meal.  In fact I wrote myself a note that is on my fridge:  "you have to want it more than you don't".  And whatever IT is, is up to me.

So today I had a particularly stressful day at my job and when the telltale signals started to rumble through my stomach I was able to identify them as stress and so I concentrated on drinking my water (and Sobe lifewater - I LOVE that stuff!) and all of a sudden it was 2:30 and not only had I forgotten to eat but I wasn't dying of hunger like I thought I would be.  Of course I am well aware that if you starve yourself that does no good so I made sure that I ate something (3 chips from the pack in my desk drawer that I hadn't thrown away) and then since it's my short day at work I came home and made a big, beautiful salad.  I stopped at the store on the way home and bought a bunch of the Sobe Lifewater (zero points) and Crystal light on the go packs (zero points) and the salad that I made was HUGE and still came in at under 7 points.   Mind you I will be eating some vegetables and grains and protein this evening.  I haven't decided what yet.  I have tofu and vegetables but we'll see.  I always have sandwich makings.  :)

Basically I just keep reminding myself that this is a 100% do-able process. That I CAN do this.  Set small goals (15 pounds is my first goal, not the end goal).  And it doesn't hurt to keep in mind that I don't want to end up on Oprah having to show the world what I ate today!

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Week 2 day 2 - Hunger

So, without really trying today I reacquainted myself with what hungry feels like.  I believe that one of the reasons I started to gain weight in the first place was that I did not properly identify hungry versus stressed/depressed.  The two, for me, are located in the exact same spot:  my stomach.  The difference is how they feel.

I don't generally feel hungry until around 10am and while I have always heard that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" - and I get that it jump starts your metabolism into working off the calories it has stored up - I just don't like to eat before about 10.  Today I decided that I was going to wait until my stomach was really telling me I was hungry before I was going to eat.  And I ended up being HUNGRY at about 12:45. 

There used to be a Thai restaurant across the street from my work.  Lucky for me it has been replaced by a deli that serves salads and my favorite food in the world:  sandwiches.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I LOVE Thai food.  And Indian food.  And Lebanese food.  I LOVE FOOD.  But this deli makes salads that I can buy...and salads are (usually) made up of zero point foods.  :) 

So, I went over and got a Cobb Salad and they asked for what dressing I wanted so I got to pick a vinagrette.  Evidently they were out of the packages so I got FRESH vinagrette.  It was good.  And not creamy high points Ranch.    The salads are pre-packaged daily and (being a vegetarian) I picked off the bacon and chicken, but still got the tomatos, lettuce, black olives, blue cheese crumbles (YES! they were totally worth the points) and hard-boiled egg.  I also got a vegetarian sandwich - home made whole wheat bread, shredded lettuce, avocado, tomato slices, red sweet peppers, cucumbers and cream cheese.  No mayo.  No cheese.  But lemme tell ya.  GOOD stuff.  And 8 points.  Yay!

So, then I waited to get the afternoon munchies that usually show up between 3 and 5pm....nope.  Did just fine. 

Tonight I pulled out a bag of vegetables for stir fry and I bought a bag of Quorn ("veggie" chicken stuff) and put some teriyaki sauce on it and am going to thoroughly enjoy it.  When I went grocery shopping this weekend I bought some olive oil pan spray, WW recommends this and I know from experience that spraying gets more coverage but less actual calories than pouring.  (Have you used those Salad Spritzers?? Totally effective and low calories.)  I sprayed the pan with the olive oil and just threw the stuff in.  Since it was frozen the water helped cook the veggies....less need for all the oil I usually pour on.

I am finding that I've been waking up earlier than usual for the last week.  Don't know why but today it resulted in me having to wait for the shower and...10 minutes to try for those cat/cow poses and the yoga!  I admit, I did not try the pretzel move.  I just could not bring myself to give myself a charliehorse before I was fully awake.  Corpse and child pose were very easy.  hee hee

So, yeah.  Hunger.  I think that allowing myself to get hungry and then eat, instead of at the "regular" times, or because everyone else is eating is a VERY good step.  I'm a joiner and boy howdy, if you're eating well I can too!

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Day 1 of Week 2

Getting easier, in fact if this whole diet/losing weight thing is this easy.... hahahahaha. Ok, moment of delusion there.  But to be honest, today wasn't that bad.  Got up and decided to step on the scale just to see and this is why I don't trust this scale:  it said I'd lost 5 more pounds since yesterday??  I know that water is heavy but still - I did NOT pee that much yesterday.  So, they say you need a good, reliable scale and that you should only weigh yourself once a week.  I'm guessing this is why. 

Anyway, I started the week off in a good mood and paid very close attention to when I'm actually hungry vs not.  Turns out that I didn't need to eat as much as I usually do so I get to use up more points tonight.  I think that I will probably have to balance the 3 meals out in a day at some point but for now this seems to be working.

Made 10 minutes for a walk today.  Not as long of a walk and not as fast as I was doing a few years ago, but it was walking.  A step. 

This week I'm working on making sure I'm drinking enough.  I like the Crystal Lite on the go packets, they help me get in more water AND taste good.

Thinking it's going to be more stir-fry and veggie chicken for dinner tonight.  I have noticed that I am staying away from rice and any bread that isn't Whole Wheat.  I'm sure it's better for me and after seeing that 1 measly package of string cheese (low moisture, part skimmed milk) is 2 points I'm not taking my chances elsewhere!

Not much else in my head today but I'm happy to be on week 2 already and maybe I can make that delusion a reality.  Hee hee.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Yoga for beginners

I have a yoga mat.  Little purple weights that are 2 pounds each, and 5  pounds each.  A purple squishy disc to hold while you sit up and stretch.  And a cool bag to put the mat in.  I have a yoga DVD and a friend from work gave me 3 video tapes of yoga.  And the last time I did any yoga was last fall.  For about a month or so I was doing really well - getting up at about 6:30am and going into the front room (with full sunshine), putting the dvd on and following the paces while a teeny tiny woman in Hawaii showed me how to be happy and peaceful.  I believe I mentioned in an earlier post how I felt about this tiny woman so I won't reiterate that.  Needless to say I had zero excuse to not do yoga.  And today I decided I was going to try it. 

So, I did the yoga for beginners this morning.  I didn't use the tapes or DVD, another section on the WW site is all about work outs, and Yoga for Beginners is a work out that is going to be good for me.  And it's going to be a chore.

The work out starts with my favorite of all poses - corpse pose.  Yes, you get to lay down and play dead!!  You lie on the mat with your arms out and your legs out and relaxed and do deep breathing  Yes, I LOVE this pose. 

Then there are a couple of poses that make me laugh - cat pose and cow pose.  You basically kneel on all 4s and then arch your back up.  The trick on these is to hold your abdominal muscles in while you're doing it (you know, instead of letting the stomach just hang...)

Exercise #4 is another favorite:  child pose.  You kneel and then stretch your arms out in front of you and put your forehead on the mat.  Yep, I like this one too.

Exercise #5 is plank pose.  This is almost like the beginning of a push up.  You get up on your toes and hold yourself up on your arms and hold your stomach in.  Good pose.

All through this you are supposed to do deep breathing which helps clear the head as well as works on the abdominal muscles.  (Breathing like a singer, from the stomach/abdomen not the shoulders.)

Exercise #6 makes me laugh, it's upward dog.  Basically you lie on your stomach with your feet apart and then push your torso (and tummy if you can) up with your arms and look up.  It's a fantastic stretch.

Exercise #7 was my brick wall.  It's called the bow and I think it will be a while until I can do this stretch - I very nearly gave myself a charliehorse in my thigh!  In this heartless pose you lie on your stomach (this part's easy) and then you reach back and grab your ankles and look up......  I can grab one of my ankles but I am here to tell you that second ankle was NOT going to be grabbed without turning my entire set of leg muscles into a pretzel.   This stretch SUCKS.  And will be good I'm sure.  But for now it sucks.

Thank GOD the next (and last) 2 poses are child pose and corpse pose.  So, that was my first yoga set.  15 minutes.  WW recommends doing it through twice, and I can see that it would be good to do.  It's going to take a while to assure my muscles that they can indeed push through the fat but I will keep doing it.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Weigh-in Day 5.6 pounds down 9.4 to go!

Sunday morning. Woke up with the absolute fear that I'd mis-calculated my calories when entering what I ate for dinner last night.  It was good by the way.  For you vegetarians out there, I took a package of Asparagus Stir Fry vegetables, put them in a pan with oil (next shopping trip probably today will include cooking spray that WW recommends instead of oil) and then a package of Morningstar Chik 'N Strips.  I added a sauce that I just bought from a friend that sells Pampered Chef items - it's Raspberry Jalapeno.  That might not sound good to you but let me tell you, the sweet with the hot and the savory of the vegetables?  Y U M.  Totally filled me up.  Of course it turned the food all purple so it wasn't the most attractive of dishes, but I did NOT care.  I added a little bit of salt for flavor (not too much) and if I'd have had garlic that would have been perfect.


Now, about salt.  This was actually one of the things that I started to cut way down on a month or so ago.  Preface:  part of my bad habits in the past and really bad choice for dealing with stress was smoking.  I didn't do it long.  Cigarettes have never smelled good to me, but for some reason smoking menthols (even worse for you than the regular nasty kind) was a trick I played on my head to say "this traffic is not so bad, the cigarette has made me less inclined to scream at the drivers."   Of course there is no such thing as a magical cigarette to make one not want to yell at morons going 40 in a 55.  That's the thing about life - there really aren't many magic pills at all.  We just have to go through it.  ANYWAY, so I smoked for a bit and burned some of my tastebuds and so started adding more salt to my food.    According to the American Heart institute, 75% of the salt in American diets comes from manufacurers adding it to the foods that we eat.  To make it taste better.  (Instead of maybe making it taste good to begin with?!)


From the American Heart Association (http://www.americanheart.org/) I learned that we are supposed to aim for 1500 mg of sodium per day in our diets. 


"High-sodium diets are linked to an increase in blood pressure and a higher risk for heart disease and stroke. Reducing the amount of sodium you consume can help lower high blood pressure or prevent it from developing in the first place. Keeping your blood pressure at healthy levels is important, because high blood pressure can lead to heart attacks or stroke." ~ source at website link above.

According to this same website average Americans consume 3436 mg of sodium every day!!!  What made me really start paying attention to how much I put on food (which is in addition to whatever there is already in the food) is that I started to get water retention (or edema) in my ankles.  Sitting for so long at work and not getting circulation going is one way to have your ankles turn into cankles, adding too much salt to your diet is another.  And both are bad.  As I've mentioned in previous posts I am on this path to lower my chances of heart disease, as well as getting into a less oval shape.  My family has a long and storied history of heart disease, my beloved grandfather on my dad's side died of a heart attack years after having a quadruple bypass for clogged arteries.  So, watching salt intake is going to be huge.  (it's also why I try to get creative with other spices in my food, and why I use cayenne.....a lot)  The AHA website says that it takes 6-12 weeks to re-train your tastebuds to believe that a 1500 mg sodium diet tastes good.  But 6-12 weeks versus 10 or more less years at the end of your life PLUS cankles??? (look it up, Seinfeld and Sex in the City had episodes on them) yeah, cutting that salt is worth it.


So, I weighed in today.  5.6 pounds down.  I still feel full so even though it's morning I'm not rushing out to eat.  Part of this process is re-training myself to recognize what hungry feels like, versus bored, mad etc.


There's a great article on WW that I read today about Change in challenging times.  It specifically addresses how major stress situations affect our ability to stick with healthy eating habits. "How to hang on when everything around you is shifting".  I thought that the tips were so good that I'm re-posting here.  The article is by S. Kirk Walsh and available on http://www.weightwatchers.com/.  The tips are:


Be Flexible - this includes forgiving yourself in times of major change/stress.  It can be nearly impossible to continue your weight loss in the face of major stressors so it can be a good goal to just maintain.  Forgiving yourself for not reaching your goal, and in fact re-setting that goal to reflect the stressful situation that you are going through is a really good point I think.  Now, I believe that life in and of itself is stressful enough so that high stress may in fact be the norm.  That is why I personally (even tho I have a much lower stress life than many of my friends) am setting small goals along the way.  And small goals achieved will lead to big goals.


Stay close to your support group - seems obvious but again, support, support support.  Having someone(s) to vent to, to let your emotions out to makes it easier to not just dive into that box of Krispy Kremes.  (Or whatever your comfort food is - Macaroni and Cheese?)  It helps to feel less alone and more possible to get through it.


Maintain an exercise program - of course you have to have one to maintain it but it is well documented that physical exertion helps to release endorphins that make us FEEL better.   I have a sticky note on my wall at work for the times when I am thisclose to just going off on someone... "Breathe, think, smile, walk"  These are my release valves when the steam is building up and up.  And there's a reason they work for me.  (I'm still employed and believe me, my German-Irish temper has NOT gone away.)


Make sure you have healthy foods available - this is one of the reasons that I cleaned my fridge out last week.  Having healthy things to eat quickly when things get stressful makes it so much less likely that I will head to Taco Bell or wherever.  I can grab an apple and a string cheese packet and while it's not a burrito it's not 800 calories either!




So, week 2 starts today and I'm trying to stay focused on the short term goals (15 pounds to start) and not the 100 pounds that I really want to focus on.


Thanks for reading.


One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Day 5 - Weekend Blahs

So, Saturday.  Stayed up too late last night and ruined my sleep schedule and resulted in feeling like crap all day.  I realized that I've been blogging before I have my evening meal this week.  Basically have been having some sort of veggie "meat", some vegetable and some dairy (cheese).  Last night I went way over the day's points.  (ok, over by 4) and with weight watchers you have a certain number of points per week that you can use up (for those of us that cheat) so I was able to use a couple of those.

I have had a weird headache most of the day and haven't felt like eating so that has helped what is usually a difficult day.  Weekends are when I get bored and well, food is usually right there (or comes if you call the pizza guy) and while I seriously could do some walking or exercise, the extent of exercise is usually cleaning house.  (This counts, but walking would be better.  Goals. Goals.)

I went to the Weight Watchers website today and one of the tools they have for people like me that are doing the online version is a list of foods that are filling.  I went through and marked a bunch of them as favorites so that when I go on to list the foods I've eaten I can just click on a "favorite".  Interesting that they have a bunch of stuff listed like "lentils, dried" and gives the points.  Uhhh, who eats dried lentils????  No one that I know.  But they also give you points for a cup of cooked whatever.

Of course the vegetables with high water content like cucumbers and celery have no point value.  Put them in a salad and you can have a bunch of stuff to much on with very few points!

Tomorrow is my weigh in day but I pulled out the old scale just to see today and if it is correct I have lost 5.6 pounds this last week.  That is possible, given the fact that I started to track what I was eating and thus ate less.  However, just think what I can ultimately lose when I add exercise to this.  I just need to make myself do it.  It's funny, I come up with these big, grand plans to get up and exercise - when I'm falling asleep at night.  I have the best of intentions and ideas but when the alarm goes off the next morning I hit that snooze button like it's a whack-a-mole.  So, maybe my answer to that is to walk in the evening when I'm home. 

I also found out that a very good friend of mine from work is a life-long member of weight watchers and she has offered to be my walking buddy so I think I may be able to get back into that good habit.  This is also the friend that goes to the gym regularly so when I am up to doing that I would go with her.  It really is important to have support when doing this stuff.  Mel sent me a great email when I told her I'd signed up with the Weight Watchers plan, cheering me on and supporting me and underscoring the importance of having a support system.  I remember in college I had a friend who was very happy to "diet" with me.  She was very nice and well-meaning but she was about a size 5 when she started.  And her diet involved one day where all we ate were banannas.... Yeah, this does not work for me.

Luckily I live with my best friend and as I mentioned he and I have talked about this goal I have and he is neither pushy (which would piss me off and send me to self-destruct mode) nor judgmental.  Because really, this is my project.  My choice.  My responsibility.  And, ultimately, my success.  :)

So, today I haven't eaten much.  As I said I don't feel good.  Was supposed to go to a BBQ tonight and I can't imagine even leaving the house, much less eating anything.  I poured myself a glass of Coke Zero, that will hopefully help with the headache.  I have focused on the whole grains that the WW website points out have more grams of fiber and are less points overall.  I had a couple of open faced "sandwiches" also.  1 less piece of bread than 2 sandwiches, and it's basically a griller (or equivalent - meatless "hamburger") a smear of olive oil mayo and some mustard. 

I like that the WW website encourages you to track how you feel before and after you eat.  This is important for people like me that eat when we're emotional, or bored.  Plus you can create a meal and see how many points it would be.  Honey mustard has very low points and I like the taste it adds to sandwiches.  (my favorite of all foods).

So, 5.6 pounds down (will see what it says in the morning), little to no change in exercise habits yet and I still have 2/3rds of my points to go for the day.   Think I'll go cook up some veggies and (meatless) chicken strips.

One day. One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Day 4 - Honesty

So, a note about honesty.  I started this blog under a pseudonym.  That's my norm for most online stuff.  But I got to thinking about the importance that honesty plays and will play in my getting to fitness goals.  And I realized that the first thing would be to start by being honest with my name.  So I changed it from the pseudonym. 

Honesty is one of the biggest things that has and will hold me back in my goal of losing weight.  It is very easy to lie to yourself and say "why yes, I will get up in the morning and do some yoga."  It is a whole different thing to actually DO that.  And no, I haven't yet.  I love sleep.  I love being lazy.  I love to sit on my couch and read, or watch tv or surf the 'net.  And I love food.  The cheesy goodness of a lasagna and breadsticks.  I'm not as big of a sugar fan but man oh man can I eat cheese.  What I do not love is not being in shape enough to walk up the hill behind my house. 

In high school I played basketball and football and swam and even jogged occasionally.  I was physically active on a daily basis.  And then I went to college.  And I sat.  And sat.  And walked in between class.  But I still sat some more.  I was also depressed and my way to comfort myself was to......eat! 

I don't see myself going out to the gym anytime soon, but what I do know is that I have lost quite a bit of weight in the past by walking and by watching what I eat.  This is where weight watchers, and this blog come in.  I know that Weight Watchers works.  I've seen the pictures and as I said, Mel is living proof that I sat and talked to last weekend.  This blog is my tracking for myself and I have quickly come to the belief that I must be honest with myself first and foremost if I am going to reach my goals.

I mean, it's not exactly a secret that I am overweight.  I can hide my body under layered clothes or loose clothes (and can I just say that whoever makes clothes for fat women really should try to make them more attractive??  NO, some of us do NOT need to wear sleeveless dresses.)  but I am still fat.  I am in a shape, but it's a round or lumpy shape.  And that is not the shape I'd like to be in.  Now, I am not expecting to end up a size 2.  I don't think in my life I've been a size 2.  But I want the energy and I want the looks that come from NOT being overweight.

It is about self esteem, of course.  How you look very often determines how you are treated.  Now, it does not always determine how others feel about you.  But (being honest) people treat you differently if you look like you're about to pass out while trying to walk up some stairs.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not on this quest or whatever you want to call it for anyone else but it sure will be nice to know that when people see me they are seeing a smaller me than I am now.  That's what I want.  Being fat doesn't make you a bad person.  It doesn't make you less loveable or less intelligent.  But it makes you more likely to suffer from diseases like heart failure, stroke and diabetes and I really would like to be around to see my nephews grow up.

I am very good at starting things.  Getting a great idea.  Starting it and then losing interest after a short period of time.  I realize this makes me just like pretty much everyone else on the planet, but this is another thing that makes it less likely that I will follow through on the exercise that I know that I must do in order to get my muscles to show up from under the fat.  I was talking to my best friend the other day about weight loss and he said that for him to get in shape he "throws a switch" in his head.  And I think that's probably what this will take for me.  If I can get this into a habit and make it an everyday thing, where it's been 6 months and then a year since I've started and I don't even notice it I will be a big step in the right direction.

So, here's today's list of foods and look out for the surprise "snack" midday....still trying to get the taste out of my mouth!

I started today in a very bad mood.  I have a pet that has let's call them bowel issues and I had to run around cleaning up after her this morning, making me late to work and cranky on what is always the hardest/busiest day at work.  I notice that when I am stressed or mad it is very easy for me to say "I'll just go through the drive thru".  And sure enough I did....

10:15am - Crystal Lite - 10 calories.  I really wanted a mcmuffin this morning but I was late so at least I saved myself from that bad choice.  I know I should eat a real breakfast, but today I am busy and irritated.

11:30am - total melt down of co-worker on the otherside of the cubicle.  Her family issues are so very familiar to mine that I really would love to eat at least 1 donut (Krispy Kreme) right now.  Sugar  = comfort food today.

1:30pm - finally out of the intense part of the day and able to eat lunch.  STARVING.  Jack in the Box here I come.  I bought a southwest chicken salad, no chicken - ate it with the dressing and crunchies.  YIKES - 300 calories!  Wonder what the calories would be without the chicken, but still I had the dressing..... 
Also really wanted a breakfast sandwich, with egg and cheese so I got a kid's meal grilled cheese.  Still 328 calories but it had cheese in it so I was happy.  Ordered a diet dr pepper but am positive they gave me regular.  Couple of sips while driving back to the office.   Ate while listening to NPR in my car and NOT being in the office.

1:51pm - wonder how many WW points that bug was that I just almost ate.  EEEEEEEEEEEEW.  Walking into the office and it just kamikaze'd into my mouth.  I could not spit or gag fast enough.  Drank 1/2 of the Dr Pepper.  And it was worth it.  Horrendous taste in my mouth.  Funny but disgusting.

2:30 - peppermint candy, still trying to kill that damn bug taste.
3:30 - 1 more - man, that bug is LINGERING.
4:30 - yeah, I really really hate bugs.  I would not last in the wild.

6:30 - went grocery shopping (and for the pet) and picked out lots of good low fat veggie protein and sandwich stuff and my favorite drink - Sobe Lifewater.  Lots of flavors and ZERO calories.  Zero points.

So, the weekend begins and I weigh myself again on Sunday.  Haven't bought a new scale yet.  Thinking of going to work and stepping on the scale there, it is very reliable.

One day. One pound. One step at a time.
~N