Today is the funeral. It is a gorgeous early summer day, birds are singing, there are tiny puffy clouds in a clear blue sky and I am going on vacation. I decided not to go to the funeral after much discussion with my husband and her's. The very thought of being there when I don't believe she is (I mean the body she was once living in is but SHE isn't.) made me ill. Add to it the fact that I am flying to vacation today and I have decided that my funeral, my good-bye, will be a different process.
Today I woke up early and cried, again. But not as much as I have. And then I came out to sit in the sun with the cat. Not unlike what she would normally do on the weekends. I forgot to mention Tigger in my tribute to her. Tigger is Charlene's cat. She got her 12 years ago, about the same time as my cat came to live with me. Tigger is a scrawny little mop head in the muted calico colors of white, grey and peach. And she doesn't love anyone but Charlene. Maybe Charlene's husband. But generally that cat is just pissy. So on the weekends when I would go over to her house I would greet Tigger from afar. And she would hiss politely at me from the blanket on the back of the couch.
Today I will move on from my sad songs. I will put Florence & The Machine in my iPod for the trip and I will go play with a baby girl and her parents and rehab myself.
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