Week 6 Day 3 - Anger

I won't go into it much here because there is no need for me to wind myself up again but let's just say that I am damn proud of myself for not telling my boss to do something to herself that is physically impossible today.  And I am even MORE proud of, directly after leaving the meeting that left me shaking (in which I did not give her personal life-directive #1) walking outside IN THE RAIN, for 1 mile and getting my severe anger out.

I woke up today and did not want to get up at the first alarm.  So I hit snooze twice and then said "nope, you have to go do this - today is going to suck" and BOY was I right.  That early morning walk got me through a meeting that I'd have become unemployed in otherwise.  And the mid-day walk got me through the rest of the day. 

Anger is a very strong motivator for me to make bad decisions with what I put in my mouth.  Alcohol and cigarettes being #1 and fatty food being #2.  Today I walked.  #1 and #2 weren't even an option (till I got home and then they still weren't really an option because I don't want a drink tonight).  And this is a good, no GREAT thing for me to learn because I am German and Irish so I don't get mad, I GO OFF.  Picture volcano letting off steam till you just go *kablammo!*  That's me.  But now I have exercise as an outlet instead of food or other potentially self-destructive forces in my possession. 

On any other day like today (altho this was one for the books, I have had other stinkers) I would have said "F the points" and gone to McDonalds for some Chicken nuggets with sweet/sour sauce, large fries and a large Diet (haha) Dr Pepper.  Then maybe stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home.  Because when I get mad I want something to soothe me.  I talked to my roommate at length about anger and the importance of having healthy outlets for it.  And I think that it's in my current toolbox to have exercise become a part of my outlets for anger.  I have a post-it at work that says "Smile, Breathe, Think, Walk" and these are 4 steps I remind myself to take when I get mad.  I'm going to underline "walk" tomorrow.

Had a breakfast sandwich, yogurt, bread and cheese, chocolate sugar free pudding, cheese sandwich, Smart Ones Lasagne, a bowl of broccoli and cottage cheese and I still have 9 points left.  :)  Oh, and I have 7 activity points for the week, and it's only Tuesday.  :)

Never have these words been more true:  If I can do it so can you.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N