Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Week 6 Day 3 - Anger

I won't go into it much here because there is no need for me to wind myself up again but let's just say that I am damn proud of myself for not telling my boss to do something to herself that is physically impossible today.  And I am even MORE proud of, directly after leaving the meeting that left me shaking (in which I did not give her personal life-directive #1) walking outside IN THE RAIN, for 1 mile and getting my severe anger out.

I woke up today and did not want to get up at the first alarm.  So I hit snooze twice and then said "nope, you have to go do this - today is going to suck" and BOY was I right.  That early morning walk got me through a meeting that I'd have become unemployed in otherwise.  And the mid-day walk got me through the rest of the day. 

Anger is a very strong motivator for me to make bad decisions with what I put in my mouth.  Alcohol and cigarettes being #1 and fatty food being #2.  Today I walked.  #1 and #2 weren't even an option (till I got home and then they still weren't really an option because I don't want a drink tonight).  And this is a good, no GREAT thing for me to learn because I am German and Irish so I don't get mad, I GO OFF.  Picture volcano letting off steam till you just go *kablammo!*  That's me.  But now I have exercise as an outlet instead of food or other potentially self-destructive forces in my possession. 

On any other day like today (altho this was one for the books, I have had other stinkers) I would have said "F the points" and gone to McDonalds for some Chicken nuggets with sweet/sour sauce, large fries and a large Diet (haha) Dr Pepper.  Then maybe stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home.  Because when I get mad I want something to soothe me.  I talked to my roommate at length about anger and the importance of having healthy outlets for it.  And I think that it's in my current toolbox to have exercise become a part of my outlets for anger.  I have a post-it at work that says "Smile, Breathe, Think, Walk" and these are 4 steps I remind myself to take when I get mad.  I'm going to underline "walk" tomorrow.

Had a breakfast sandwich, yogurt, bread and cheese, chocolate sugar free pudding, cheese sandwich, Smart Ones Lasagne, a bowl of broccoli and cottage cheese and I still have 9 points left.  :)  Oh, and I have 7 activity points for the week, and it's only Tuesday.  :)

Never have these words been more true:  If I can do it so can you.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Monday, September 6, 2010

Week 6 Day 2 - Up where the air is clear

When I was a little kid I used to love to watch Mary Poppins and the song "Let's go fly a kite" was one of my favorite songs.  (Of course Superkalifragiliciousexpialidocious and Chim-chiminy were right up there as well)  Today I did not want to get up early and walk, and so I scouted ideas for a different walk and again tip of the hat to Janice for the idea - I walked along the Columbia river which is not far from my house. 

My roommate went with me and we walked 2 miles along beautiful scenery (and lots of people) and at the end we got a drink at one of the restaurants along the boardwalk.  Ginger mojitos are totally worth the 4.5 points.  (ok, mostly worth it....4.5 points?!)  I really think I can get myself into a habit of finding new places to walk and get my heart going.  I am not anti-gym, but it's just not really for me.  I love the variety of scenery and the fresh air and the sounds.  Will have to come up with something suitable when it starts to be winter because I may love the snow but I do not see myself walking 3 miles a day in snow...unless it's for a horror story for a kid "in my day we walked 3 miles in the snow...up hill....both ways"

This morning we went out to breakfast and boy do I need to really look my points up before I go out to eat!!  I had an egg substitute vegetable omelette (onions, mushrooms, peppers, some cheese, and salsa on top) 1 piece of wheat toast and about 1 cup of hashbrowns.   (And some coffee)  The omelette itself was 10 points.....yeah.  So, I will next time ask for the egg white omelette and see if they can make it to order.  After that yummy meal I was so full I haven't eaten since.  But after the walk I am getting hungry and will check out something in the kitchen. 

The exercise points will keep adding up, I am now positive I can get up and walk every morning.  Even in the rain.  And I plan to walk further tomorrow morning, I clocked how far a mile is today when we were driving to the boardwalk and I am sure I can do it.  Just a little longer.  And I may throw in good old heart attack hill while I'm at it.

Feeling good even tho I'm still not further down on pounds.  This is week 6.  Went by fast and I just keep taking it....

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Week 6 - Heart Attack Hill/Weigh-in day

So, got up this morning, still a little sore (took Ibuprofen before I went to bed tho....because I expected it) and stood on the scale......1/2 a pound.  *sigh*  I so wanted it to be more.  I felt like it SHOULD have been more.  I worked my ass off (or part of it) this week.  But hey, 1/2 a pound is still 1/2 a pound. And it brings me to minus 19 pounds.  And I KNOW that I will hit 20 next week.  (maybe more)

And then I got up and decided I was going to walk.  The roommate came in and said "let's go to Starbucks".  I thought "hrrm.  well that might work".  Because in order to walk to Starbucks you must first walk up .... wait for it .... heart attack hill.  He was excited and wanted to get me going and was saying "let's jog".  I immediately felt like he was pushing me (and this may well have not been the case) and it pissed me off and I announced "I am not jogging.  I am not in shape enough to do it.  I will walk up that hill, but I am going at my own pace so you will have to deal with me doing this on MY terms."  Poor guy was like "you woke up in a bad mood."  To which I responded "nope, but I will not be pushed."  *sigh*  Yeah, people pushing me to do stuff, anything as a matter of fact, get an IMMEDIATE reaction from me.  And it's not good.  Guess I'm going to have to see my therapist (me) about that and figure out why that is.

Regardless, I put my shoes and socks on my sore feet and put on my most comfortable pants (let's just say that walking as much as I have, I need to make sure I have no way to create chaffing....more fat girl issues) and walked up Heart Attack Hill.  I stopped at the top.  Was having a hard time breathing through my nose, and thus a hard time getting enough oxygen (having allergy issues I guess) so I had to slow my breathing to where I wasn't gasping.  Now, the last time I walked up this hill I had flashing lights in the corner of my eyes. Yeah.  It was that bad.  And, mind you this hill is not THAT steep.  Honestly, it's not.  But if you are not in shape it is a challenge.

So, I walked up the hill, stopped for a few seconds and kept going.  And walked the 1.1 miles to Starbucks, got a coffee with equal and half and half (worth the points).  And then walked back.  So far today I have 4 activity points and have walked 2.2 miles.  I was looking at my activity points since I started this and I'm seeing an encouraging trend:
                    Week 1 - 2 points (10 minutes is generally 1 point, so you know...)
                    Week 2 - 6 points
                    Week 3 - 3 points
                    Week 4 - 7 points
                    Week 5 - 20 points (this was my post-vacation week)
                    Week 6 - 4 points so far and it's only day 1

Yep, I will keep going.  I feel better when I exercise, especially in the mornings.  And I tell you this - all it takes is getting up and doing something.  Park further away from work.  Take the stairs instead of the elevator.  Start slow.  Don't put yourself into the trap of trying too much too quickly.  If it's going to be a habit it has to be one you believe you WILL follow through on.  And today's lesson - don't let others push you into doing what you know you can't do, but don't give up either.  Heart attack hill has been conquered.  Once.  It will be again.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Week 5, Day 7 - Doin' The Walk of Life

First of all, ouch.  I can tell that I walked today.  So, I walked 6 miles at 3 miles an hour.  I know this because there were mile posts along the trail and I timed myself.  I was so proud of myself.  I went with my roommate and our friend and at a few points they were far enough behind me that I couldn't see or hear them.  I loved the scenery.  Unfortunately my phone is not working right now of I'd post some pictures that I took. 

The trail starts out in a parkinglot, just out of our little town, and there is a sign in this parkinglot that I took a picture of but can't post yet.  It said "Warning:  high crime area."  Uhhhhh. And I'm supposed to leave my car here and WALK?!  Luckily the walk then proceeds through trees on a path that looks a bit like the pictures you see of Central Park (NY) in fall.  Beautiful.  There were a few people on the trail, but not constant.  And then you keep walking and you see a little swampy area with lilly pads (at which point I was thinking "uhh, that is not a lake") but you keep walking down a gravel path, through gorgeous trees, blackberry bushes. Eventually the lake came into view and yes, there is indeed a lake there.  I had no idea. There were sign posts all along the way telling us how far we'd gone (which is great when you want to know your progress and at the end how close you are to done) and when I got to the one that said "3 miles" I waited for the boys to catch up and turned back around and walked back.

I was not trying to be super fast, just walk fast enough to get and keep my heart rate up.  And I got back to the car exactly 2 hours after we left.  By the end of the walk my knee (that I had surgery on in high school) was achy and my feet were starting to hurt, but I felt great otherwise.  It was awesome to be outside in nature.  At several points when I was by myself it felt so peaceful.  The lake itself had several aspects that reminded me of growing up in Montana.  We went to a tiny little camp every summer, slept on creaky/squeaky cots in drafty cabins and I spent most of my time in or on the lake.  At one point I remember going out in my canoe on the lake early in the morning when the mist was still all over and the smell of the water was something I re-experienced today.  Regardless of the scary sign at the start I could see this walk becoming a part of my regular routine.  It's not far from my house and it is a GREAT walk. 

Getting back into the car my knee was SCREAMING at me and my feet were throbbing but by the time we stopped to get an iced chai (that was my treat) and at the store to get chips for the great chicken nachos the throbbing had subsided and I was feeling that great relaxed feeling you get after a work out. 

So, I started my day with an egg white, mushroom, feta omelette with an iced coffee (skim milk) light & fit blueberry yogurt, toast with honey, lots of water before and after the walk and then my chai latte and chicken nachos with guacamole.  Not really hungry now but I'm thinking some sort of vegetables will make it into the menu and more water.

And did I mention I walked SIX MILES at 3 miles an hour???  Yes, even for a "Fat Girl Hike" it was a great workout.  I'm thinking tomorrow morning I may just get to the top of heartattack hill..... Thanks for the idea Janice.  I hope your bike ride went well. 

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I know I lost something, just not sure how much.  Regardless, I am proud of myself, I did some form of exercise EVERY day this week.  And that is a big deal.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Friday, September 3, 2010

Week 5 Day 6 - Thank god it's over

So, yeah, today sucked.  Yesterday's 10 hours was NOT enough to make today any less crappy.  But it's work.  Not that I expect it to be fantastic, it was Friday after all.  I will not make the mistake of not getting up to walk again.  That makes such a huge difference to me.  All it is is 10 minutes walking before I've showered or put makeup on but that 10 minutes makes me able to deal with angry co-workers and never-ending stuff to do NOW.

I was prepared with my snacks tho.  I now have to go shopping for Smart Ones, their breakfasts are great and low numbers.  I had a couple of yogurts, nice sugary taste to feel like a treat.  Made a basic sandwich of Sara Lee bread (I'm stuck on the 45 calorie slices, the thin subs are 100 calories for the whole sandwich, but these only add up to 90!) a slice of cheddar and some veggie meat. (You get 2 Yves slices for 1 point)  I also took a container of cherry tomatoes and baby carrots and a couple of string cheese sticks. 
Tonight our friend is over to play Wii Golf and other video games so I'm using some of my weekend points, we are having yummy chicken quesadillas (and tortillas are 4 points...) and I had the last of my Limoncello (because I deserve it dammit!).  One of the tricks they talk about on WW is to eat before you go to a party...so I made myself a very good (and low point) salad with carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes, lettuce/spinach, and a little bit of vinaigrette BEFORE I drank my Limoncello and before I started in on the chicken. 

And guess what I'm doing tomorrow??  Thanks to my friend Janice I'm going on a 6 mile hike.  Going with the roommate and our friend.  I know, 6 miles.  But it's promised not to be up any hills like heartattack hill.  And I'm looking forward to it.  I really like being outside.  Anything not to sit indoors too long after working so much.  I will still do my share of sitting indoors tomorrow but I will walk.  A LOT.  :)

I will blog tomorrow night about the walk, I'm calling it a Fat Girl Hike (because I am NOT marching up a hill) and I'm looking forward to it!!  TGIF peoples.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Week 5 Day 5 - Tired

Ugh, I am freakin exhausted.  Just finished a 10 hour day at work and it wasn't even a Friday!   I got up this morning and did my walk.  And this time I got 3/4 or more up heart-attack hill.  Tomorrow I'm thinking I may just make it the entire way!!  I did NOT want to get up but I did.  Yay me.

I had a Smart Ones breakfast - it had cheesy eggs and some hashbrowns, yum (4 points).   Then I had a yogurt, it's a bigger one than the ones I usually get so it's 2 points.  Then I went to a meeting....oh yes, they had food.  So I got a salad in a little plastic container.  This salad had probably 2 cups of lettuce, 3 strawberries, a handful of walnuts and a container of vinaigrette dressing.....and the whole thing was off the charts in points.  Why you ask??  Because they think you are going to eat the entire container of dressing.....and I did not.  I had less than 2 tbsp, oh yeah and it had feta.  Seriously, just that one little container of dressing (and it was the size of those little containers they bring with Dominos pizza, the ones with garlic oil/butter?  yeah, I love breadsticks in those.  Anyway, it was that size.)  made all the difference in terms of calories.  Then I went back to work and had some carrots and tomatos and a bit of ranch that I had portioned out this morning (love my little containers) and when I run out of my sugar free chocolate puddings I will be sad.  Meantime I enjoyed one. 

I came home and instead of being one with my couch (and oh did I want to just sit here and stare at the tv) I got my roommate to do Wii Fit and I did a run with him, and then I did my own measuring and checking in (still hate that little voice when it says "that's obese" but I am proud to see the drop in percentage of BMI so there's that).  So, all together I had around 20 minutes of moderate activity.  (I did some balance games, the hula hoop, the step and some strength moves.)

And I know it will be worth it when I step on that scale on Sunday morning.  Did not drink enough water today, I have to remind myself to do that every day.  But it's still...

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N

Ps. Congrats MtSnowbb on your progress.  Every pound counts girl!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Week 5 Day 4 - Plateaus

I haven't hit one yet but I know a plateau is in my future.  I've hit them before.  2 years ago when I lost 50 pounds I hit several slow spots, the longest one at 30 pounds.  I know that adding exercise this week will work well to keep me going.  I didn't get up and walk this morning, but I did walk today.  Fast and in the rain.

Was reading online about plateaus and some good points to be made:

1.  What might be causing your plateau:
Most people lose very quickly when they first start a weight-loss plan. You’ll often hear this referred to as losing “water weight.” When you reduce calorie intake, your body releases stores of glycogen, a stored carbohydrate. After glycogen is exhausted, your body burns fat stores – which is good, but…fat burns slower than glycogen. So weight loss may slow down. Don’t start thinking it’s a plateau until your weight-loss has halted for several consecutive weeks.   Other things that might be causing the plateau - too much loss too quickly (you start with muscle loss), a body's changing needs (smaller body = less calories needed), new medication (yeah, lots of meds can cause this)

2. Pushing past a plateau:
Eat more filling foods, don't forget to track everything you eat, make sure you aren't eating too many zero points foods, consider using half of your weekly values (!!) and consider measuring your food (you might be underestimating the sizes).
Move more - a pound of muscle weighs as much as a pound of fat, but the muscle takes less space, so the fat loss might still be happening but the newly un-earthed muscle may be standing in your way.

It is predictable to lose more at the beginning of a dietary change. "When calories from food are reduced, the body gets needed energy by releasing its stores of glycogen, a type of carbohydrate found in the muscles and liver. Glycogen holds onto water, so when glycogen is burned for energy, it also releases the water—about 4 grams of water for every gram of glycogen—resulting in substantial weight loss that's mostly water. "

"Once the body uses up its glycogen stores, it starts to burn fat for energy. Unlike glycogen, fat does not store much water and each gram of fat releases more than twice the amount of energy (i.e., calories) than a gram of glycogen. The result is that weight loss slows down substantially. At this point, the recommended rate of weight loss is no more than an average of 2 pounds per week. Losing weight faster than this is generally a sign that amounts of lean muscle mass, which like glycogen is largely water, are being broken down for energy."

The article goes on to state that a plateau around 6 months is likely to occur (great...something to look forward to) and that research is still unclear as to whether or not hormones related to fat might affect this, and metabolic changes may also affect the process.  Regardless, it's worth it to keep going because plateaus are not brick walls.  They are just things to move across.

(article from: http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=23561&sc=801)

I'm not giving up if/when I hit one.  Because if I can get my ass out of bed at 6:30 and go walk up heart-attack hill, I can work my way through a plateau.

One day.  One pound.  One step at a time.
~N